AMANDA Okay, it’s a gown challenge and in what universe does gown mean jumpsuit? Sure, if they said Red Carpet look a jumpsuit might work, but again … GOWN!!!
Amanda decided to create a sheer dress worn over a jumpsuit, and she was creating all these heart designs — she picked her jewels because they were hearts and her last name is Valentine … excuse me while I wipe the vomit off my chin — that Tim just thought were awful; she scrapped them, but, for me, it didn’t help.
Her fabric choice didn’t help, either, in that it was difficult to work with and cased her all kinds of tsouris; sheer nightgown? Superhero? Hot mess?
WHAT SHE SAID You see the ‘floatiness,’ but then you can see the jumpsuit. She looks like a badass.
WHAT I SAID She looks like a hot mess and not at all what the criteria of the challenge asked for, i.e. a gown It looks like something a 50s movie star would wear in a bad film noir. A really bad film noir.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID Heidi asks if Amanda thinks she’s in the top, and Amanda replies ‘Yes.’ Heidi agrees, and I passed out; seriously, I wanted a 3D version of the PR so I could pretend to slap the dumbass out of Heidi. But, she said she liked that Amanda takes risks — in this case, that means not fulfilling the challenge. Nina loved it and called it editorial; I would call it editorial pages of the newspaper and line a birdcage with it. Caroline Scheufele said it was a great look.
Only The Adorable Zac Posen™ voiced his concern that it wasn’t good — he called the fabric choice torturous — and said it would land on a Worst Dressed list.
WHAT HAPPENED While the women seemed to love her look, everyone admitted that Amanda was not in consideration for a win, so she gets a Safe.
KINI He’s starting to wear on me because of his I should win and everyone else sucks attitude. And so, naturally, I was pleased to see him stumble into a pair of unruly breast cups this week that seemed to be his undoing.
His chose neoprene because in his world, I guess, neoprene is a gown choice, and added chiffon, so he could showcase both the structure and the flowy. The flowy worked, but even Tim wasn’t pleased with the Breast Bullets he saw during the critique.
And I wasn’t pleased with his dogging out of every single other designer, while pushing his pudgy paw over his back side to compliment himself. We all know where that kind of snarky over-confidence leads …
WHAT HE SAID She’s gliding, the flow of the chiffon in the back … perfect.
WHAT I SAID It’s really kind of bland and, I think, kind of Las Vegas bride.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID Heidi liked the sheer over the structure, and wished the skirt were shorter—in the critique Tim told Kini the skirt should be longer proving that Tim always wants chic and Heidi always want shorter—and pointed out the messy cups; she also liked that it was different. The Adorable Zac Posen™ agreed about the length and the ‘boob darts’ — he called them an eyesore — and said the neoprene was a bad choice.
Nina liked the styling, and she liked the dress, though from the waist down she found it all to be too much; a mistake and not very well executed. Caroline Scheufele thought the color was a good choice to show off the diamond hoops.
WHAT HAPPENED Kini wasn’t really bad enough to be considered for the Aufing, so I placed him with Amanda in The Middle. |
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