An Open Letter to Carla Alcorn

Dear Carla Alcorn,

First off, let me say how sorry I am that your child, Leelah, your daughter, died last week. It broke my heart to hear her story, as I know it broke the hearts of many.

Sadly, it doesn’t seem to have broken your heart because, even after her death, you refuse to see that your child was struggling; you refuse to see that all she wanted was to be loved, to be understood, to be validated. You cannot even be bothered to call her by her name.

And that’s because you and your husband put your “religion” ahead of your child. You said you don’t support that … being transgender … religiously; that is transgender; that was your child; the fact that you didn’t support that caused your child to step onto a highway into oncoming traffic.

I’m sorry for that.

I’m sorry Leelah didn’t have parents who loved her unconditionally; I’m sorry Leelah had parents who, when they were told their own child felt “differently,” and had found a word to explain that difference, that her parents told her she was sick, she was wrong, she needed therapy.

She needed to be loved. She needed to be loved.

Sadly, you seem to forget that he wasn’t a ‘boy,’ but she was a young woman struggling with gender identity and your refusal to see that, understand that, accept that, set your religion aside and just simply  love your child, lead to Leelah’s death.

All of us in that LGBTQ spectrum have had feelings of being different, of not fitting in, and we have all voiced those feelings at some time or another to our parents; luckily, a great many of us had parents who, while not fully understanding what it means to be gay or transgender, still told their children that they loved them.

You told your daughter she was wrong; sure, maybe you can say you didn’t use that word; maybe you can say that she wasn’t transgender because ‘God’ doesn’t make mistakes, but when you took her to therapy, she knew what you thought of her; and it wasn’t love.

And you talked to CNN about the medications your daughter was given by counselors and therapists, and you talked about how Leelah never spoke of being transgender again like she had maybe changed her mind. The fact is she stopped talking to you about being transgender because she knew you didn’t accept her; she kept quiet because, in silence, she knew she would never have to hear you tell her she was wrong any more.

You told CNN that there are all kinds of hateful messages on the internet calling you and your husband “horrible people.” Did you once, just once, think that telling your daughter she was “wrong” was a hateful message, or did you just forget about her and think only about your religion, your faith, what people might say about you knowing you had a transgender child?

Again, I am sorry for your loss. I’m sorry for your lack of acceptance. I’m sorry you don’t understand. I’m sorry you turned your back on your child and she walked away from your house that day and never came back.

She could have been amazing, and now we’ll never know because you told her she was wrong, but it was you, Carla, you and your husband who were wrong. It was the wrong choice of words, and the wrong choice, choosing religion over your own child; wrong choice not listening.

Leelah was right, and she would have been all right had she had parents who truly loved her unconditionally. She could have been amazing … she was on her way. Even in her suicide note, she showed more compassion than her parents, when she asked that you give all of her things and money to the transgender civil rights movement and to transgender support groups:

"The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren't treated the way I was, they're treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year...Fix society. Please."

And, Carla, you can start fixing things now by calling your daughter by her name:

Leelah Alcorn. Stop refusing to accept that she was Leelah, even in death. She was your daughter, she was your child.

Say her name, Leelah Alcorn. Give her that much.

via CNN

Leelah's story on ISBL

Oy! What A Year We Had ...

Lots on my mind as we wind down another year …

I keep thinking about Leelah Alcorn, the transgender girl who killed herself because her parents told her she was wrong, and a sin, and an abomination … and that since God doesn’t make mistakes, she must have been mentally ill to think she as transgender.

Too bad they couldn’t have thought, “God doesn’t makes mistakes so She sent us a transgender child to open our eyes and the eyes of the world.” Maybe then Leelah wouldn’t have walked in front of that truck.

I think about all those LGBTQ kids who felt they could no longer go on this year because of being bullied by friend, fellow students, teachers and their own parents. Think of what any of those kids might have accomplished if we all just learned to accept people for who they are, and not what we think they should be.

My sister died this year … I remember one of the last times I talked with her, about a month or so before she passed. She didn’t seem to know who I was, didn’t even ask about Carlos — which she always did — and just talked about what was on the TV screen she was watching. I realized then that the sister I’d loved my whole life was leaving me. I realized then that things would never be the same.

I still called and still talked and made sure that, even if she didn’t quite understand, the last words she heard from me were, “I love you.”

I also realized then that when she did go, on February 15, she was in a much better place, and didn’t hurt, and had her hair, and was laughing with my Mom. It’s not a God thing, it’s a universe thing.

I’m a happily married man, to another happily married man. 

When I met Carlos I never thought this was a possibility … even after Massachusetts and Iowa … even after California. Then the tide started turning and we started talking about it; we both wanted to be married, we both wanted to have a husband. We wanted that. And then to have my Dad ask to be there, well, that was the icing on the wedding cake, with the added cherry of having marriage equality come to South Carolina … South FREAKING Carolina … after we got back from Washington.

Amazeballs.

We used to shop at Kroger until we learned that Kroger has a ‘Meh’ attitude about Open Carry in their stores; I’d always said that if the day came when I had to ask someone to move their assault weapon so I could get a loaf of bread, it was time to shop elsewhere.

So we did; we went back to Publix — where we shopped when we lived in Miami — and now Publix is in the news. But for a good reason: starting tomorrow, Publix stores will offer full benefits packages to their employees’ same-sex spouses.

Guns. Equality. I choose equality.

Of course, when you factor in that kid who shot his mother with her own gun in a Wal-Mart, Kroger should be prepared for that to happen in one of their stores.

Lotsa coming out parties this year, too, and lots of Coming Out Toaster Ovens and copies of The Gay Agenda—a one page pamphlet, actually, featuring one word: “equability”—being sent out from HOMO HQ.

Michael Martin took his boyfriend to prom and came out at the same time. Daniel Franzese, who played the  'almost to gay to function' in Mean Girls is now openly gay; as is Derrick Gordon, a sophomore starter for the University of Massachusetts men's basketball team; Ty Herndon and Billy Gilman, two country music stars … yes, country music … decided to live their lives as gay men out and proud. 

Nate Alfson, a high school, baseball and volleyball coach for a Catholic high school came out as gay and kept his job!

Chip Sarafin, an offensive lineman for the Arizona State football, came out, as did John Fennell, who represented Canada in the luge at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi. 

British singer Sam Smith came out with the release of his debut album, In the Lonely Hour, saying the album “is about a guy that I fell in love with last year, and he didn’t love me back.” Tyler Glenn, the lead singer of Neon Trees and a Mormon, also came out; Mitch Eby, a Junior and defensive end for the Chapman University Football team, too.

Federico Díaz, Uruguayan actor and telenovela heartthrob, is now openly gay, along with high school swimming star, Jack Thorne, and Pete Cahall, principal of Washington DC’s Wilson High School who chose the school’s annual Pride Day event to finally tell his students that he is gay. Adam Joseph, Philadelphia meteorologist for 6ABC, announced the birth of his first child, publicly, acknowledged his partner of five years, Karl, and came out as gay.

Brad Thorson, a former college football player and former player for the Arizona Cardinals and Neal Baer, the executive producer and showrunner for CBS' 'Under the Dome' are out and proud; and after years of speculation, rumor, questions, guesses, dreams, Olympic swimmer Ian Thorpe came out as gay.

Kristian Nairn, an actor from Game of Thrones, came out, and so did Democratic Arizona State Senator Steve Gallardo, after listening to the arguments for that Arizona anti-LGBT, so-called religious freedom bill;  Matt Kaplon, student and baseball player for Drew University, came out to his team and the world last weekend after being inspired by the coming out story of NCAA basketball player Derek Schell; Brazilian diver, and Olympic hopeful, Ian Matos came out as gay, saying he was inspired by fellow diver Tom Daley’s coming out.

Djuan Trent, Miss Kentucky 2010, came out as lesbian on the heels of that federal judge ruling that Kentucky must recognize same-sex marriages from other states. Marcus Juhlin, a Swedish football player, is gay; so is actress Ellen Page and retired Premier League footballer Thomas Hitzlsperger.

Callan Chythlook-Sifsof, a U.S. snowboarder who missed the cut for Team USA, has come out as lesbian, and Michael Sam said he was gay, making him the first openly gay professional football player in this country.

We’ll be restocking the shelves with kitchen appliances and pamphlets as soon as possibly, because after last year we made need even more!

Politics. 

You cannot keep Obama down; even after that ridiculous 2104 mid-term election fiasco, he is not gonna  sit idly by and let the Republicans run roughshod over this country and try to turn back the clocks to the 1950s, when The Gays were in closets, and women couldn’t chose and racism was fun.

Gossip. I do so loves me some gossip. Paltrow? Loathe you, but you keep me in stitches with your shenanigans. 

Lohan actually made her stage debut and, while the reviews weren’t great, she wasn’t a major screw up … onstage. Off-stage she’s still Party Hardy Lohan. 

And Justin Bieber … I’ve made fun of your size … I’ve called you a talentless hack and a spoiled brat … I giggled when you wet yourself after getting arrested …, I found you obnoxious and ridiculous and just plain sad … That’s all.

Police shootings. And most of the victims are Black. Please try to tell me there isn’t a double standard when Michael Brown, a Black man, gets gunned down in the streets for allegedly stealing some cigars and Eric Garner, a Black man, gets choked to death for selling loose cigarettes, but Julia Shield, a White woman, strapped on armor and drove around a Chattanooga neighborhood shooting at people and police, and was just arrested. 

Explain to me the difference between John Crawford III, a Black man, holding a BB gun in a Wal-Mart and is shot to death by police, but two white men who go into a Wal-Mart, take BB guns off the shelves, load them and then start shooting are simply arrested.

There should be no difference, yet because there seems to be one, we have a lot to talk about in 2015.

It’s been a year of ups and downs, and highs and lows, but, for me, the ups and the highs outweigh the rest. I’m still here, still loved and in love, still Dad to some weird wild wacky pets. Still living in Small-town South Carolina. Okay … that might be a down.

I kid.

Tomorrow, we are off to the Round-The-Way-Gays, Neal and David’s, New Years Day, Newlyweds — three couples in our little group got married last year — and Not-So-Newly-Born Party. It’ll start 2015 just right!

Different Parents, Same Issue, Different Outcome

Josh Alcorn was assigned the male gender at birth but that never felt right, and when he was fourteen he learned what ‘transgender’ meant; he learned that maybe he wasn’t Josh, that maybe she was Leelah. And suddenly everything seemed right; right up until Leelah told her parents.

In a post to her Tumblr blog, Leelah wrote:

“After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong.”

Can you imagine telling your parent your deepest, darkest secret, one that will finally allow you to live in the light, and having them tell you that you’re wrong?

Leelah’s parents took her to a therapist, a Christian therapist; she says all they did was tell her she was selfish and, again, wrong; they told her to look to God for help. But Leelah knew God couldn’t help, so she waited; she was sixteen, and would wait until she was 18 and then leave home and live her life; at 18 she could begin transitioning.

Still, she rebelled in the only way she knew how: she came out at school as gay, hoping this would shock her parents into understanding who she was; it didn’t. While Leelah’s friends understood, and accepted her as a gay man, her parents grew angrier:

“They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted. So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed … I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.”

Finally, her parents relented — not in accepting their child was transgender, or even gay mind you — and let her have her phone back, let her have her social media back, let her have her friends back. But nothing else changed.

“After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like shit because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. “

Leelah Alcorn stepped in front of a moving tractor trailer truck on southbound Interstate 71 in Union Township last Sunday morning.  Now her parents have no child, whether boy or girl; all they have are the memories of an unhappy child, desperate to be heard, to be understood, to be loved; to be herself.

The story could end there, with my heart breaking at the idea of what was done to Leelah Alcorn in the name of God, but there’s another story, this time of a girl assigned the female gender at birth and how her, his, parents dealt with it.

Shiloh has never felt female, has always more identified with male gender, and when she told her mother how she felt, well, her mother said:

“She wants to be a boy. So we had to cut her hair. She likes to wear boys’ everything. She thinks she’s one of the brothers.”

Shiloh even asked to be called John, and her parents, and her family, call him that. His parents don’t know if this is a phase, if they have a daughter who is a tomboy, or a son who desperately wants to be himself, but what they do know is that they love their child, and will do whatever is necessary to make their child happy. They have not looked at Shiloh’s desire to dress and act like a boy as “just a phase.” Instead, the couple has embraced their child, and given her the opportunity to explore who she really is.

And that meant going out with Dad and the brothers one night when Mom was sick; John asked to wear a suit just like his brothers, and so he was given a suit. And all the pictures of John in that suit show a happy child, a contented child, a loved child. And John’s, or Shiloh’s, parents must be happy knowing that their child feels loved and accepted as Shiloh or John, with short hair or long hair, in a suit, or a dress, because, really, that’s what parents should be doing for their children.

At least that’s what Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are doing for John. They are letting their child explore gender, find himself, or herself, where he or she fits in, without fear of being unloved, unwanted.

I’d ask who the better parents are, but it’s very clear the better parents are the ones whose child is still here, walking a red carpet in a suit, and not walking in from of a semi-truck on the highway because her parents told her she was wrong.

Brad and Angelina via Inquisitr

Leelah Alcorn via Patheos

Another One: Ronin Shimizu

I posted the story on my blog once before about the time I was a mascot for one of my high school basketball games. My sister was Claudia the Cougar — this was back in the days when Cougar meant cougar, not predatory older female — and I was Clyde the Cougar. I remember how fun it was being in that costume during the game, but I also remember that I didn’t tell any of my friends that it was me because I didn’t want to seem, you know, gay.

Ronin Shimizu, a 12-year-old Folsom, California boy never felt that way; he was the only male cheerleader with the Vista Junior Eagles Cheer Team; he was a member of the drama club, a Boy Scout, just a boy who took his own life last week after being bullied for being a cheerleader.

For being a cheerleader.

And before he killed himself, Ronin endured insufferable bullying, that became so intolerable that his parents actually removed him from school and homeschooled their son. That just makes me shake my head, in wonder and sadness and anger; Ronin was the victim who was removed from school while the bullies continued on their merry way.

Another thing that makes me angry is that both Folsom Middle School and the Folsom-Cordova School District confirm that they received a number of complaints from Ronin’s parents about the bullying, but maintain they followed protocol. Daniel Thigpen, Public Information Officer for the Folsom Cordova School says the incidents were handled; to which I say, not very well because now a boy is dead.

Here’s how the incidents should be handled: the bullies are removed from the school, not the victim. Why was Ronin forced to leave school but those little monsters who tortured him because, Jesus Christ, he loved to cheer, are still allowed to get up every day and go to school with their friends and, of this I’m certain, find a new target to bully? Why?

And why does Daniel Thigpen say this:

“Any allegations bullying related to this specific incident, we’re certainly reviewing how we responded to those and we’ll use that as an opportunity to always take a look at how we respond to future allegations.”

Oh, so now you’re going to look into how you respond the allegations of bullying? Now? Now that Ronin Shimizu is dead and people are questioning your ALLEGED anti-bullying campaign, now you’re looking into it.

Too late; too late for Brandon and Danielle Shimizu who released this statement about their boy:

The tragic loss of our son has and will forever change our life. The love and support that we received from family, friends and the Folsom community has been immeasurable and words cannot begin to express our gratitude through this most difficult grieving process.

The people close to our family know exactly who Ronin was, but since the story of this tragedy has spread worldwide, we want to take a minute to let the world know who he was.

Ronin was one of the most loving, compassionate, empathetic, artistic and funny kids to grace this earth. Ronin was a child who was not afraid to follow his heart, and we as his parents did everything in our power to allow him to pursue his passions, while protecting him from the minority that could not understand the specialness he possessed.

As you already know, Ronin loved to do Cheer, but he also loved art, fashion, being a Scout and most recently crew/rowing. It is true that because of his specialness, Ronin was a target of bullying by individuals that could not understand or accept his uniqueness.

Ronin was not just a target of bullying because of his participation in cheer, but for him just being Ronin. We as his parents always knew that he would make an impact on the world, we just thought it would be in something like fashion design or art related. We had no idea that God and Buddha had a more important role for him, and we as his parents will make it our mission in life to turn this tragedy into something positive and hopefully prevent another senseless tragedy.

In closing, please remember that education in regards to bullying prevention does not only need to occur in our schools but also in the home.

Thank you.

Why should any parent ever have to release a statement thanking people for supporting them in the grieving of their son’s suicide because of bullying?

It’s time for real Zero Tolerance; you bully, you’re out.

Why should there ever be one more?

Daily Mail

News10
CBS Sacramento

Daniel Pierce Joins Board of Homeless LGBT Youth Organization

Daniel Pierce was 19-years old when he came out as gay to his parents; he decided to videotape the process; it didn’t turn out well. See my post about that HERE.

At the start of the video — which you can search out because I don’t need that kind of thing on my blog — you can hear Daniel’s mother say “I love you” but before it’s all over she has attacked him, beaten him, and kicked him out of her home, all in the name of her Christian faith. She calls his sexual orientation a choice, despite his assertions that it is not and her assertions that she knew he was gay from when he was a small child. In the end, Daniel’s entire family joins in on the Good Christian Gay Bashing calling him a “disgrace” and saying “You’re a damn queer!”

Naturally, the video went viral, and Daniel Pierce became a household name; his boyfriend created a GoFundMe page to help Daniel raise enough money to live on his own and soon the page raised over $100,000.

That’s a nice chuck of change upon which to get your start, but Daniel didn’t need all that money. He opted, instead, to donate most of it to Lost-n-Found Youth to build a new shelter for LGBT homeless youth that will triple the capacity of the organization's current shelter.

But he didn’t stop with just a donation.

Daniel Pierce is now the first former client of Lost-n-Found Youth to join the organization's Board of Directors. His appointment is part of a larger effort to bring broad perspectives and skills to the organization's leadership.

"Lost-n-Found was there for support from the earliest moments and they stepped in before I ever got to the first critical 48 hours of homelessness. Their quick response is proof that there is a safe place in Atlanta for youth like me to turn to for support. Even though my personal story was extreme, I hope my experiences can continue the dialogue about GLBTQ youth homelessness and get people off the street by engaging the community." — Daniel Pierce

Funny, though, his parents raised a kind, considerate, helpful, thoughtful young man, but all they could see was someone their “faith” told them was evil and damaged and wrong when, actually, it was the other way around.

source

Eric Martin: Bullied and Beaten By Gang Of Students ... And Charged With Assault

A couple of things about yours truly: I know what it’s like to be bullied. I was bullied for being gay — or at least perceived as being gay — all through junior high and high school. I cannot remember a day going by that I wasn’t called “faggot” or “queer.” But luckily for me, if you could consider it luck, the bullying was mostly name-calling and, maybe, the occasional shove in the hallway’ I didn’t have to live with the threat of physical harm, just the still painful verbal taunts which make me shudder even today, decades later.

Another thing about me? I am not a violent person. I have never been in a physical fight in my life; the closest I ever came was one day when my sister was so irate—that girl had a temper—that she tried to slug me; I grabbed both her wrists and basically set her down on the kitchen floor. I don’t fight.

So, I cannot begin to imagine what Eric Martin went through, after years of being called “faggot” and “queer;” years of shoves and taunts and harassment, until, one day, he’d had enough and decided to fight back against those who bullied him.

He fought back against several, several, of his classmates called him names and then beat him into unconsciousness; Eric spent nearly two weeks in the hospital with a traumatic brain injury, multiple contusions and a broken arm.

And finally the school has decided to press charges … against Eric.

Yes, the kid who has been bullied and taunted and name-called since he was a child is being charged as a criminal because he finally stood up for himself.

When are we going to stop letting this happen? When are we, as a community of parents, of bullied students, of allies, going to demand that the schools do something? How many students have to die, have to be beaten, have to be arrested before it’s enough?

We go to school to learn, not berate and abuse those students who seem different; we go to school to study, not to gang up on someone who acts in a way we don’t understand, we don’t like.

The bullies are winning; LGBTQ youth are being harassed to death, unless they fight back, and then they are being charged as criminals.

There is a GoFundMe page set up to help Eric pay his legal bills; bills he’ll have to pay because he was the victim of gang violence and fought back — keep in mind not one of his attackers was hospitalized or hurt during the fight, but Eric himself was in the hospital for six weeks.

There is also a place to send Eric letters of support, to let him know that while his own school, his own teachers, principal and administrators stood by and did nothing for him, that we can stand by him, and support him, and let him know that he is not alone.

We are all Eric Martin.

sources:

NCRM

GoFundMe: Justice for Eric

ISBL: Two Cases of Bullying ... Two Ridiculous Outcomes

Letters for Eric
P.O.Box 993
Sandston, Va. 23150

Two Cases Of Bullying ... Two Ridiculous Outcomes

We’ve heard all the stories about students bullying other students; pushing, shoving, taunting, teasing, beatings; we’ve heard it all. And we’ve heard of teachers who bully students, or allow the bullying of one student by another to continue, but this is a new one … A teacher has been fired because she refused to let a bunch of viciously racist kids bully a black student. Pam Aister had been a teacher at Four Peaks Elementary School for 25 years has been fired because she refused to let a gang of racist kids bully a black student. That’s right; she stopped the bullies and lost her job in the process. It all began when Aister was at the school, as a group of students surrounded their “target,” and like any good teacher, like most of us think teachers should be, she stepped in to stop the abuse. “He was called the n-word, ‘monkey,’ and ‘coon' and [I said] if you’re picking on him, you’re picking on me. It’s not five against one, it’s five against two, and there will be no more taunting, teasing or racial names.” — Pam Aister That’s how it should be right? That’s what we expect of those who teach our children, right? Well, apparently not the parents of those racist punk kids at Four Peaks Elementary because they called to complain about Pam Aister getting their children in trouble; some say she even threatened their little darlings. The parents of these racist students claim that Aister had the nerve to tell the bullies to “shut up” — you know, stop with the racist names; that’s what they’re complaining about. In the end, Pam Aister was fired; the racist kids were not punished. A twenty-five year career ruined because some parents don't like teachers reprimanding their little racists.  It seems sickening, doesn’t it, but let me remind you that this happened in Arizona, not exactly known for its “live and let live” attitudes; this, after all, is the same state that once refused to recognize Martin Luther King Day and recently passed a law legalizing racial profiling. Arizona, where it’s sunny and hate-filled, I’m guessing. But is it what the people of Arizona really want? Do they want teachers fired for standing up for a bullied child? Do they want racist punks running roughshod in freaking elementary schools? Pam Aister should be back in the classroom as soon as possible, and those racist punks and their idiotic parents should all be making phone calls and driving around looking for another school because they clearly do not belong in a public school system. Maybe the KKK has an educational program for these punks and their racist parents.

source

We’ve heard all the stories about students bullying other students; pushing, shoving, taunting, teasing, beatings; we’ve heard it all. And we’ve heard of teachers who bully students, or allow the bullying of one student by another to continue, but this is a new one …

A teacher has been fired because she refused to let a bunch of viciously racist kids bully a black student.

Pam Aister had been a teacher at Four Peaks Elementary School for 25 years has been fired because she refused to let a gang of racist kids bully a black student.

That’s right; she stopped the bullies and lost her job in the process.

It all began when Aister was at the school, as a group of students surrounded their “target,” and like any good teacher, like most of us think teachers should be, she stepped in to stop the abuse.

“He was called the n-word, ‘monkey,’ and ‘coon' and [I said] if you’re picking on him, you’re picking on me. It’s not five against one, it’s five against two, and there will be no more taunting, teasing or racial names.” — Pam Aister

That’s how it should be right? That’s what we expect of those who teach our children, right?

Well, apparently not the parents of those racist punk kids at Four Peaks Elementary because they called to complain about Pam Aister getting their children in trouble; some say she even threatened their little darlings. The parents of these racist students claim that Aister had the nerve to tell the bullies to “shut up” — you know, stop with the racist names; that’s what they’re complaining about.

In the end, Pam Aister was fired; the racist kids were not punished. A twenty-five year career ruined because some parents don't like teachers reprimanding their little racists. 

It seems sickening, doesn’t it, but let me remind you that this happened in Arizona, not exactly known for its “live and let live” attitudes; this, after all, is the same state that once refused to recognize Martin Luther King Day and recently passed a law legalizing racial profiling.

Arizona, where it’s sunny and hate-filled, I’m guessing.

But is it what the people of Arizona really want? Do they want teachers fired for standing up for a bullied child? Do they want racist punks running roughshod in freaking elementary schools?

Pam Aister should be back in the classroom as soon as possible, and those racist punks and their idiotic parents should all be making phone calls and driving around looking for another school because they clearly do not belong in a public school system.

Maybe the KKK has an educational program for these punks and their racist parents.

And then there's this .... Eric Martin, a fourteen-year old Virginia boy, has been beaten and bullied, called “gay” and a “faggot” too many times, and finally, one day, when at least four other students began to beat him again, he’d had enough and he fought back. And now he’s being charged with two counts of assault — he allegedly threw the first punch — and school officials are refusing to allow him back into school until he signs a statement saying he threatened the school, something he says he didn’t do, and something that the school cannot prove. After his beating at the hands of those four thugs, Eric was hospitalized for nine days due to a possible broken arm, a concussion, and because, after the beating he is on suicide watch. And all because some students think he’s gay and cannot handle that. Mary Martin, Eric’s mother, admits that he threw the first punch, but says he was a victim of bullying, of constantly being called one gay slur after anther until he’d had enough and fought back. "He's got bruises all down the spine of his back where he was just slammed on that table. … When I try to call the school, and I try to get answers they just blow me off. They don't want to talk to me." The school also sent an email to parents saying the incident is being dealt with according to their established policies and procedures which seems to be a zero tolerance policy, but if Eric has endured the name-calling and the taunts and the bullying, it’s not quite “zero tolerance” is it? I hope the school investigates, and I hope they see that this was a case of four students attacking one student, and just because he fought back — he did get one hit in on a boy — does that mean those other four boys get to beat him so badly he was hospitalized? Something is wrong when the victim is the one being punished … again.

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SIDENOTE:

Eric's family has started a campaign, Letters for Eric, to show him some support, and if you’d like to write to him, here’s how:

Letters for Eric

P.O.Box 993

Sandston, Va. 23150

And then there's this ....

Eric Martin, a fourteen-year old Virginia boy, has been beaten and bullied, called “gay” and a “faggot” too many times, and finally, one day, when at least four other students began to beat him again, he’d had enough and he fought back.

And now he’s being charged with two counts of assault — he allegedly threw the first punch — and school officials are refusing to allow him back into school until he signs a statement saying he threatened the school, something he says he didn’t do, and something that the school cannot prove.

After his beating at the hands of those four thugs, Eric was hospitalized for nine days due to a possible broken arm, a concussion, and because, after the beating he is on suicide watch.

And all because some students think he’s gay and cannot handle that.

Mary Martin, Eric’s mother, admits that he threw the first punch, but says he was a victim of bullying, of constantly being called one gay slur after anther until he’d had enough and fought back.

"He's got bruises all down the spine of his back where he was just slammed on that table. … When I try to call the school, and I try to get answers they just blow me off. They don't want to talk to me."

The school also sent an email to parents saying the incident is being dealt with according to their established policies and procedures which seems to be a zero tolerance policy, but if Eric has endured the name-calling and the taunts and the bullying, it’s not quite “zero tolerance” is it?

I hope the school investigates, and I hope they see that this was a case of four students attacking one student, and just because he fought back — he did get one hit in on a boy — does that mean those other four boys get to beat him so badly he was hospitalized?

Something is wrong when the victim is the one being punished … again.

Today In Christian Love: If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises from a Christian Pastor/Parent

So ... let's start the week off with something thoughtful, and thought provoking, whether you;re Christian, or not, gay, or not, a parent, or not ....

If I Have Gay Children: 

Four Promises from a Christian Pastor/Parent

by John Pavlovitz at Stuff That Needs to Be Said

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll have gay children.

I’m not sure if other parents think about this, but I do; quite often.

Maybe it’s because I have many gay people in my family and circle of friends. It’s in my genes and in my tribe.

Maybe it’s because, as a pastor of students, I’ve seen and heard the horror stories of gay Christian kids, from both inside and outside of the closet, trying to be part of the Church.

Maybe it’s because, as a Christian, I interact with so many people who find homosexuality to be the most repulsive thing imaginable, and who make that abundantly clear at every conceivable opportunity.

For whatever reason, it’s something that I ponder frequently. As a pastor and a parent, I wanted to make some promises to you, and to my two kids right now…

1) If I have gay children, you’ll all know it.

My children won’t be our family’s best kept secret.

I won’t talk around them in conversations with others. I won’t speak in code or vague language. I won’t try to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, and I won’t try to spare the feelings of those who may be older, or easily offended, or uncomfortable. Childhood is difficult enough, and most gay kids spend their entire existence being horribly, excruciatingly uncomfortable. I’m not going to put mine through any more unnecessary discomfort, just to make Thanksgiving dinner a little easier for a third cousin with misplaced anger issues.

If my children come out, we’ll be out as a family.

2) If I have gay children, I’ll pray for them.

I won’t pray for them to be made “normal”. I’ve lived long enough to know that if my children are gay, that is their normal.

I won’t pray that God will heal or change or fix them. I will pray for God to protect them; from the ignorance and hatred and violence that the world will throw at them, simply because of who they are. I’ll pray the He shields them from those who will despise them and wish them harm; who will curse them to Hell and put them through Hell, without ever knowing them at all. I’ll pray that they enjoy life; that they laugh, and dream, and feel, and forgive, and that they love God and humanity.

Above all, I’ll pray to God that my children won’t allow the unGodly treatment they might receive from some of His misguided children, to keep them from pursuing Him.

3) If I have gay children, I’ll love them.

I don’t mean some token, distant, tolerant love that stays at a safe arm’s length. It will be an extravagant, open-hearted, unapologetic lavish, embarrassing-them-in-the-school cafeteria, kind of love.

I won’t love them despite their sexuality, and I won’t love them because of it. I will love them; simply because they’re sweet, and funny, and caring, and smart, and kind, and stubborn, and flawed, and original, and beautiful… and mine.

If my kids are gay, they may doubt a million things about themselves and about this world, but they’ll never doubt for a second whether or not their Daddy is over-the-moon crazy about them.

4) If I have gay children, most likely; I have gay children.

If my kids are going to be gay, well they pretty much already are.

God has already created them and wired them, and placed the seed of who they are within them. Psalm 139 says that He, “stitched them together in their mother’s womb”. The incredibly intricate stuff that makes them uniquely them; once-in-History souls, has already been uploaded into their very cells.

Because of that, there isn’t a coming deadline on their sexuality that their mother and I are working feverishly toward. I don’t believe there’s some magical expiration date approaching, by which time she and I need to somehow do, or say, or pray just the right things to get them to “turn straight”, or forever lose them to the other side.

They are today, simply a younger version of who they will be; and today they’re pretty darn great.

Many of you may be offended by all of this, I fully realize. I know this may be especially true if you are a religious person; one who finds the whole topic disgusting.

As you’ve been reading, you may have been rolling your eyes, or clicking the roof of your mouth, or drafting familiar Scriptures to send me, or praying for me to repent, or preparing to Unfriend me, or writing me off as a sinful, evil, Hell-bound heretic… but with as much gentleness and understanding as I can muster; I really couldn’t care less.

This isn’t about you. This is a whole lot bigger than you.

You’re not the one I waited on breathlessly for nine months.

You’re not the one I wept with joy for when you were born.

You’re not the one I bathed, and fed, and rocked to sleep through a hundred intimate, midnight snuggle sessions.

You’re not the one I taught to ride a bike, and whose scraped knee I kissed, and whose tiny, trembling hand I held, while getting stitches.

You’re not the one whose head I love to smell, and whose face lights-up when I come home at night, and whose laughter is like music to my weary soul.

You’re not the one who gives my days meaning and purpose, and who I adore more than I ever thought I could adore anything.

And you’re not the one who I’ll hopefully be with, when I take my last precious breaths on this planet; gratefully looking back on a lifetime of shared treasures, and resting in the knowledge that I loved you well.

If you’re a parent, I don’t know how you’ll respond if you find out your children are gay, but I pray you consider it.

One day, despite your perceptions of your kids or how you’ve parented, you may need to respond in real-time, to a frightened, frantic, hurting child; one whose sense of peace, and identity, and acceptance; whose very heart, may be placed in your hands in a way you never imagined… and you’ll need to respond.

If that day should ever come for me; if my children should ever come out to me, this is the Dad I hope I’ll be to them.

 * Note: The word “gay” in this post, refers to anyone who identifies themselves as LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Questioning) . Though I certainly realize and respect the distinctions and differences, it was simply the word that would quickly and easily communicate within the context of the piece. It was the clearest and best way to address non-hetereosexual individuals in the post, by using a common tern that would resonate with the average reader. Hopefully my heart for the LGBTQ community is still clear in the writing.