Random Musings

The house next to Casa Bob y Carlos finally sold this week, and I think the new owners will be moving in soon, so I will be asking Carlos, and myself, to tone down our yelling; well, it’s really mock yelling, but to the neighbor’s it might seem, um, not so much.

I have been fighting a cold this week, and as happens, Carlos, who I must remind you all, is not a doctor, tells me I need to drink Hot Tea all the time.

I tell him, and, again, reminder, I am not a doctor, that I prefer to drink Not Hot Drinks. Carlos gives a dissertation on Hot Beverages and I quickly remind him that any doctor will tell you, cold or flu, to gets lots of sleep and drink lots of liquids … with no mention of a specific temperature of that said liquid.

As Carlos was leaving the house this morning, and as I was returning to my boudoir and the warm comfort of my bed, he began “mock” shouting Hot Tea! Hot Tea!

And I began “mock” shrieking, even with my bad throat, You’re not a doctor! Stop talking!! STOP TALKKING!!!!!

Welcome to the neighborhood, newbies!

Man alive, those Russians really hate The Gays, and anything even Gay Adjacent!

It seems the residents of Saint Petersburg have reportedly torn down a giant interactive iPhone memorial that commemorated the death of Apple founder Steve Jobs because Apple’s current CEO, Tim Cook, came out as gay. And the chairman of the company that installed the memorial said that it might return with a message that instructs Russians not to buy Apple products.

Yup, tell down a memorial to one man, because another man in the company is a ‘mo.

St. Petersburg better be careful, because with that attitude they might be tearing down the entire town one day.

Did y’all see blowhard Chris Christie going off on the man who dared interrupt him as he was speaking? The man, a constituent of Christie’s, and a man who survived Hurricane Sandy, though he’s still waiting for money to come through that he needs to rebuild his home, simply wanted the Governor to answer some questions.

Christie’s response? “Sit down and shut up."

Remember that when the Fat man runs for office because that’s how he’ll react to any question he doesn’t like.

It’s not presidential, it’s thuggish and bullying and condescending. If anyone needs to sit down and shut up it’s Chris Christie.

So Taylor Swift turned her back on Country music to be a Pop Star? Well, I’d say that Pop’s loss and Country’s gain. And she hightailed it right outta Nashville for New York City where she was named NYC’s Global Ambassador after living there all of half an hour.

So, what does Taylor Swift do? Well, she donated the proceeds of her new song “Welcome to New York” to charity and then she set up her world tour to promote her latest album.

She’ll be playing everywhere except New York City.

Seriously, the girl is a moron. I mean, she’s playing in Jersey so I guess she thinks that’s good enough? It isn’t.

After last Tuesday’s election, Senator Wack Nut, er, Rand Paul created a series of Facebook posts showing every losing Democrat endorsed by Hillary Clinton.

And you thought this was all Obama's fault? Nope, cuz he’ll be out of office in two years so Rand decides to go on the attack against Hilary.

Someone’s scared, eh, Rand?

I’ve been watching The Affair on Showtime. It tells the story of a murder — though we don’t know who died, even if they were murdered, or who did it — and a couple of people involved are the ones having The Affair.

It’s kind of morose, though I do enjoy the way they show both adulterers’’ sides to the story, but there is some man candy.

Joshua Jackson — on the right — plays Cole Lockhart, the husband of the woman having the affair, and though we saw his buck nekkid in episode one I was less than impressed. But then we saw him in jeans, riding, then dismounting a horse and, well, a man in Levi’s with a nice ass … I’m hooked.

In addition we have Colin O’Donnell — on the left — playing Cole’s brother Scotty, er, Hotty.

Yeah, I may be able to endure the morose for the occasional hotness. I’m shallow like that, you know.

So, My-Husband-In-My-Head Matt Bomer made his debut on AHS: Freak Show last night, playing a gay hustler, yum, who gets picked up in a bar by the wickedly insane, and insanely adorable, Dandy, played by Finn Wittrock. The two of them, in tighty whites? Oy, thank goodness for DVRs and replay!

I was in heaven until … and I’ll save the spoilers if you haven’t seen; suffice to say, Matt? What happened?

Also, the delicious Frances Conroy. Lots of talk, and all of it well-deserved, about Jessica Lange, but Frances Conroy has always been fabulous in AGS and this year is no different; the voice — "They're special bulbs from Holland! Don't question me!" — the hair, the clothes, the personality of her character. I want her to have her own season of Horror.

And then to have Gabourey Sidibe again? Loving it! Hopefully she’ll play a larger part before this all ends.

So, am I the only one who finds all those pictures of the virulently anti-gay Benham Brothers hoisting virulently anti-gay politicians into the air to be more than just a little gay looking?

And, not that I’m saying he’s gay, but the looks on Huckleberry's, Jindal's and Perry’s faces seem to suggest that they’re more than a little tickled to be carried around by bigots.

Speaking of homophobes, for some reason Peter LaBarbera, president of the anti-gay organization Americans for Truth about Homosexuality, went on the attack against National Treasure, Neil Patrick Harris.

Luckily Dan Savage was there to respond … and God, too.

Random Musings

Out in Indiana, anti-equality GOP Governor Mike Pence — who might make a run at the White House in 2016 — issued a memo ordering state agencies not to recognize the hundreds of same-sex marriages that took place in the brief period when marriage equality was legal and before a stay was ordered.

Asshat. And I cannot wait for what he’ll say, or how he’ll spin it, when the courts order equality to stand. How quickly might he change his tune in his bid at the presidency?

Flip-flopping asshatted tool.

Speaking of marriage ….

Last weekend I updated my Facebook status to tell friends and family that Carlos and I would be getting married this October:

Well, after fourteen looooooooong years together, Carlos and I have decided that, in the words of the immortal Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer, "Enough is enough is enough is enough is enough is enough ... it's enough" and we will be getting married this October. Who would ever saw that coming, eh?

And we received some lovely wishes from friends and family all over the globe, but there was one message that was, well, unexpected and eerie.

I noticed that I had a couple of personal messages and checked them out. One was from a friend just wanting to chat, but the other was just a smiley face ,,, from my sister.

Now, to be clear, the simple smiley face was sent by my sister as a sign-off to a chat we’d had back in December, two months before she passed away; and I had seen it back then, but how wonderfully eerie and sweet that, for whatever reason, it was once again listed as a new message right after I announced that Carlos and I were gettin' hitched?

My big sister is still looking out for me …

Oh geez, won’t this woman ever go away?

It seems that after The View fired Jenny McCarthy and Sherri Shepherd, the Mama Grizzly Bore™ weighed in the topic suggesting that she would be a good addition to the program.

Asked by a reporter — possibly from the lame-stream media she says she loathes — if she had any interest in doing a "political talk show," MGB™ replied, "I hear everyone recently got canned from 'The View,' maybe a show like that needs a punch of reality and a voice of reason from America's heartland to knock some humble sense into their scripts. You know, someone willing to go rogue."

By rogue she means, put the final nail in the coffin of a show that should have died years ago.

I am a goofball. I like to make jokes all the time, about anything and everything; sometimes cute little jokes and sometimes the most offensive things imaginable just to get a reaction out of people.

Carlos, on the other, while he has a fabulous sense of humor, isn’t so keen on being a goofball and the other night I tried to break him out of that shell.

See, there’s a commercial for Tropicana orange juice where you hear Debbie Reynolds and Donald O’Connor sing “Good Mornin’” from  Singing in the Rain  and I always, always, sing along with it, adding some jazz hands for effect.

The other night I asked Carlos to sing it with me and he refused. I begged, pleaded, cajoled, threatened and he still said ‘No.’

I accused him of being uptight, and he uttered, in a somewhat high-pitched voice tinged with an English accent:

“I am not upt-i-i-i-i-ght.”

I said, “Who are you supposed to be? Dame Judy Dench?”

He said, “Maybe.”

I said, “Sounds more like Dame Judy Clench.”

PS I’m still waiting for him to sing to me.

Last week Pope Frankie met with six victims of pedophile priests; his first such meeting since becoming The Head Cheese last year. He said that Catholic bishops "will be held accountable" for failing to protect children from sexual abuse, but made no move as to how this would work, leading many, including myself, to think this was just a media moment and means nothing in the long run.

Sure, I’m cynical about the Catholic Church protecting children from priests who rape them, but that’s because they haven’t shown any action at all in that area. It’s all lip service, though I am hoping Pope Frankie proves me wrong.

Madonna was called to jury duty this week in New York and appeared an hour late — some say she was told to show up late to avoid the crowds and the sensation that a fading pop singer who fails to act her age, might receive.

Madge, who had been excused in May thanks to a doctor’s note :::coughcough::: plastic surgeon :::coughcough:::  was surrounded by her security team as she entered the clerk’s office and not the regular jury assembly room. She was immediately excused because there were ‘ample jurors’ and she was also bypassed because her presence was causing a commotion.

Watch licking her armpits again? Calling her son the N-word? Posting a dozen or some Photoshopped pictures to Instagram? Because that would be Madge on jury duty; it would be all about her.

So, I watched some of the World Cup these past weeks, though without the fervor of most in the world, and many in this country; I do, however like, all the man-on-man groping and kissing and tugging down of the shorts, making the games seem almost soft-core porn.

Speaking of which …

I often caught ESPN’s panel of experts talking about the games and the winners and losers and there, right in the middle, was one gorgeous man, whom I assumed, because of his coloring was Latino—and you all know how I feel about the Hispanic Mens.

Michael Ballack was his name, and he was a former soccer player from Germany. Yes, he looks Hispanic but he’s German.

And oh so delicious.

Enough with the actual games, give me more recaps.

Julie Bindel — don’t worry, I never heard of her either — wrote a book called  Straight Expectations in which she argues that sexual orientation is a choice.

Well, except for her, I guess, because she said this …

“All I know is I’ve never been convinced by a scientific argument, or seen any evidence that is compelling that there is something innate about our sexuality. What I’m suggesting is, there are people who could go one way or the other and happily choose to be lesbian or gay.”

And then she said this about her choosing to be gay …

“Because I needed to leave home – there was nothing there for me in Darlington – and pursue my feminist possibilities, that meant starting a new life and all that was open to me. I fell in with a crowd [in Leeds] who spoke about lesbianism as part of women’s liberation. I never chose to be attracted to women.”

Huh. So she says I chose to be gay because there is no proof that it could be any other way and then says she didn’t choose it at all.

Siddown asshat.

District Court Judge C. Scott Crabtree on Wednesday ruled that Colorado’s 2006 voter-approved ban violates the state and federal constitutions. He immediately put his ruling on hold pending an appeal.

Welcome to equality Colorado.

The march goes on …

This one makes me laugh … because, well, dumb.

Liberal Democratic Russian Parliament Member Roman Khudyakov has asked Russia’s Central Bank to change the 100 ruble note because, according to him, it “clearly” shows Apollo’s genitals and that runs afoul of Russia’s ban on exposing children to The Gays.

Khudyakov  complained that “intimate parts of the body” were visible on the banknote, which he says should have an “18+” rating under the anti-gay law.

I thought this was the height of stupidity, thinking that a statue on a piece of money would make the children gay but then I learned that in 2011 the real statue of Apollo, at the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow, was also censored when the exposed genitals were covered by a fig leaf.

Khudyakov doesn’t seem to think that Apollo’s microscopic penis on the currency might encourage lesbians to go straight.

Seriously.