Random Musings

Overheard at Work:

Me: CJ? Can you pass me that folder?

My Boss: His name is Clinton ...

Me: Funny, when he introduced himself to me he said his name was CJ so I'll call him CJ.

My Boss: Well, his name was Clinton.

Me: Well, If I were to call people by names that others suggest that I call them, you can only imagine what names I'd be hurling at you ... starts with an 'F' and ends with an 'r'.

It's a wonder I'm employed at all.

Remember when Tim Tebow would score a touchdown and drop to his knees and pray to God or thank God, or just settle for a moment, and people began selling the T-shirts.

Well, when Kansas City Chiefs safety Husain Abdullah intercepted a Tom Brady pass and returned it for a touchdown he did the same thing: he stopped and thanked his God, too.

The difference? Abdullah was penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Oh yeah, he’s Muslim, so maybe that explains why. I guess in football, you can beat your wives and girlfriends, have drug problems, anger issues, but you can’t bow down to thanks your God unless you’re a Christian.

Uh huh.

Bette’s back!

Midler, that is; she is releasing a new album entitled “It’s The Girls!” produced by Mark Shaiman. It is said to be an album of covers, but only from girl groups, from the 19030s through to today.

Think Bette does The Andrews Sisters to The Supremes to En Vogue to Destiny’s Child.

It drops — look at me with the industry-speak — November 4th and should be fa-a-a-a-bulous!

Out there to California, Governor Jerry Brown has signed into law a bill outlawing the "gay panic" defense in court.

Yup, no more The gay guy asked me to dance so I shot him fifty times defense.

It makes California the first state in the nation to enact this kind of law, and it’s about time.

On TV last week we watched the premier of How To Get Away With Murder, starring the beautiful Viola Davis — quite possibly one of the greatest actresses ever — as a law professor and defense attorney.

It’s from Shonda “Scandal” Rimes so it has that same, WTF just happened feel to it.

It also has some nice eye candy, like Alfred Enoch as the naïve, yet quite hot, law student, Billy Brown — a personal hottie favorite of mine — as Viola’s cop boyfriend, and Jack Falahee, as the Is he gay or is he just having gay sex to close the case student.

A trifecta of hot men, with Viola Davis to boot!

Paybacks are a bitch, especially when the payback is $242,000.

This week a federal court yesterday ordered former GOP Senator  Larry Craig — AKA The Airport Bathroom Toe-Tapper — to pay the government back the $242,000 in campaign funds he used to pay lawyers after being busted trying to hook-up with a dude in a Minneapolis airport restroom.

Craig, a complete and utter homophobe, bigot and all-around tool, says he was entitled to use the funds because was traveling on official Senate business.

Official Senate business is looking for a blow job in an airport john? Sorry, Larry, I ain’t buying that any more than I was buying your story about having a wide-stance.

You’re queer, dear.

After the highly successful ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, the organization Check One Two has created the Crotch Grab Challenge hoping to raise awareness about testicular cancer and encourage men to self-examine down below.

One of the first men to cop a feel, so to speak, was Hugh Jackman, who Tweeted out that photo and challenged Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Strahan and Ricky Gervais.

It sounds like a good challenge, but it annoys me because I have been begging to grab Huge Ackman’s crotch for years.

PS He's really packing!

What the hell is wrong with the Secret Service these days? An intruder hosp the fence at the White House and they’re too busy placing a Starbucks order to notice? He races across the lawn and they’re taking selfies? He enters the White House — enters.the.White.House — and they’re challenging one another to the Crotch Grab?

Or, howsabout the time they let an armed man onto an elevator with the President?

It’s ridiculous, unacceptable, and all kinds of wrong, and now Julia Pierson, the boss of the Secret Service, has stepped down. Good; here’s hoping they put someone in charge who realizes that they have ONE JOB: protect the President and the First family.

If they can’t do that, get rid of ‘em.

Filed under: I Don’t Know What To Make Of This

In Ohio, a white lesbian is suing a local sperm bank, charging that they mistakenly sent her sperm from an African-American male and not from a white guy.

Now, this women and her partner adore their mixed race baby, but say they are having difficulty raising her in an all-white community. The suit further states that the plaintiff fears the child will not be accepted by her "all white and unconsciously insensitive family."

Hmmm, is it the mixed race baby, or the fact that you’re a lesbian couple that has your neighbors are twisted.

Either way, who gives a f**k?

Random Musings

First off ... big shout-out to Anne Marie for her donation to The Will of the People Fund —click that lick up there on the right — a group Carlos and I helped create to fight for marriage equality in South Carolina.

Thanks Anne Marie, for the donation-slash-wedding-gift in our name.

You don't know how much we appreciate it!

So, I mentioned last week that Carlos and I ordered our wedding bands. I mentioned that Carlos had been into the “Smallville Jewelers” a couple of weeks back and how receptive they were to selling bands to a same-sex couple. I mentioned that when I looked at the rings — in silver, platinum and tungsten because I am not a golden kind of gay — I picked one that I really liked and Carlos told me he had also picked that very same ring.

Great minds, right?

Cut to the weekend and Carlos and I are in the car and he says to me, “Do you really like the rings?”

Yes.”

“We could get something else if you want …”

“Wait! You want a different ring?”

“No, I really like the ones we chose but if you want a different ring …”

“UM, why would I walk into a jewelry store, pick a ring, found out it’s the same exact mother%^$ing ring you’d pick, get our fingers sized, place the order and then decide I wanted something different?”

“I just want to make sure you like them.”

Oy.

Ann Romney, that insufferable Republican bitch, and wife to serial loser Mittsy Romney, is back in the spotlight saying her husband would have prevented the current ISIS mess … or made a fortune off of it … and then, when asked if Mittsy would run in 2016, she said, oh so sickeningly sweet, "We will see."

Let him run, and when he becomes a three-time loser maybe then this self-involved, out of touch, wannabe queen of America will shut her stinking piehole for good.

God, I loathe her.

UPDATE:

After an airman was unable to complete his reenlistment because he omitted the part of a required oath that states “so help me God,” the Air Force changed its instructions for the oath and, following a review of the policy by the Department of Defense General Counsel, the Air Force will now permit airmen to omit the phrase, should they so choose.

The change is effective immediately.

Good, since we are going back to war and will need as many military men and women as possible, eh?

Still, it was a stupid policy and it’s nice to see it ended so soon.

After arrest warrants were issued, three of the suspects involved in that mob gay bashing of a gay couple in Philadelphia turned themselves into police. They are: 

Kevin Harrigan, Kathryn Knott, and Philip Williams.

Most galling of all is that these three, and hopefully any and all others involved in the attack, will not be charged with committing a hate crime as Pennsylvania hate crimes laws don’t cover sexual orientation because, well, gay people are less than.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: if you bash a couple because they are gay, that’s hate; if you bash a couple because you want their wallet, that’s hateful.

There is a difference.

Now, while I abhor violence of any kind, the more I read about what these f&kmonkeys did, and especially read Kathryn Knott’s homophobic Tweets, I wish the punishment would be that they endure the exact same public beating they gave that couple.

And then lock them up for a good long while.

New TV season Hottie Alert:

Ioan Griffudd, of ABCs Forever about an immortal man who works in a morgue and dies every episode only to be brought back to life. It’s like Sherlock Holmes, who never dies. But Ioan is adorable with a delicious accent, so we’ll stick around for a while with this one.

And Las Alonzo, from The Mysteries of Laura AKA Grace Adler is a Cop Now. The show is cute, kinda funny, kinda serious, but I fell it could be wearing thin after a few views. But Las is definite eye candy while we watch.

Color me surprised, but a group of Texas county sheriffs and law enforcement officers have filed a brief with the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals this week in support of marriage equality.

Yes, in support of marriage equality.

The letter, filed by Harris County Sheriff Adrian Garcia, Dallas County Sheriff Lupe Valdez, and more than 50 other Texans working in law enforcement, said, in part:

 “Gay and lesbian law enforcement officers and other first responders put on their uniforms, place themselves in harm’s way to protect and defend our communities, and swear to uphold our laws without prejudice or bias. … They serve our communities with equal distinction, skill, and bravery. But Texas denies these men and women the equal dignity and respect they deserve. Texas does not treat them equally in their day-to-day work, nor, tragically, even when they make the ultimate sacrifice.”

Good on Texas and good on law enforcement.

Fun Fact: President Obama and Tea Party Senator Ted Cruz are cousins—14^th cousins to be exact.

Picture that Thanksgiving dinner!

Oy.

Just in time for our wedding, new census data released last week makes a simple, but oh so substantial change in the ways that same-sex couples will be categorized now.

We are now considered families.

In prior years, the U.S. Census Bureau counted same-sex couples as “unmarried partners” — even if they were legally married — but starting with the new annual American Community Survey, same-sex couples will be counted in the family totals.

It sounds so minor, really, but it’s a huge deal; we are no longer co-habitators or partners or buddies or friends of the same-sex with benefits … we are family.

I might break out into a little Sister Sledge!

Overheard at work:

Racist, homophobic, idiotic Republican client: “What was all that protesting about climate change in New York? That’s just stupid. I say let Mother Nature take care of it.”

Me [to myself, way under my breath because I’ve learned not to poke the racist, homophobic, idiotic Republican client]: “That’s the problem you moron, Mother Nature is doing what she does because of what we’ve done.”

Asshat.