Random Musings

Since becoming husband-and-husband, I’ve found renewed joy in my life with Carlos because, well, I get to gaslight him all the time now!

Like the day I was home and he called to say he was running late, and I acted as though I couldn’t hear him.

Then, when he got home, and I asked why he was late and hadn’t called, he said he had. I said he didn’t; he said he did. It went on like that for a couple of m minutes before he whipped out his phone and called the house phone because he wanted to check if it was working.

And I laughed, telling him that I was gas-lighting him.

Like the time he said he had to go to Lancaster for work, then to Cassatt, and then back to Camden. He called to tell me he was back in Camden and I asked what he meant by that.

Carlos: I told you I was going to Lancaster.

Bob: No, you didn’t.

Carlos: Yes, I did.

Bob: No, you said you were going to Cassatt and then back home.

Carlos: I did go to Cassatt.

Bob: You went to Cassatt? Why didn’t you tell me?

Gaslight. Not that there’s a huge sum of money I’ll come into when I have Carlos declared mentally unstable; I’m just doing it for fun.

"I, Darren Wilson, hereby resign my commission as a police officer with the City of Ferguson effective immediately. I have been told that my continued employment may put the residents and police officers of the City of Ferguson at risk, which is a circumstance that I cannot allow. For obvious reasons, I wanted to wait until the grand jury made their decision before I officially made my decision to resign. It was my hope to continue in police work, but the safety of other police officers and the community are of paramount importance to me. It is my hope that my resignation will allow the community to heal. I would like to thank all of my supporters and fellow officers throughout this process."

Good.Bye. And I hope we never hear from you again.

Tony Dungy, the former NFL coach-turned-NBC analyst who said he wouldn't have drafted Michael Sam because he wouldn't want to "deal with all of it" — meaning the media attention — said this week that he would welcome wife-beater Ray Rice onto a team.

So, you can beat up a woman and still be an NFL star but you can’t be gay.

South Carolina Attorney General Alan Wilson yesterday petitioned the Fourth Circuit Court, asking that they not rule on his marriage appeal until the Supreme Court issues on a decision on the cases out of Sixth Circuit. Wilson, like his counterparts in several other states, is desperately trying to keep his case alive so that marriage equality can be undone should SCOTUS rule negatively.

Although he’s wasting taxpayer money and doesn’t seem to realize that South Carolina is not bound by decisions of the Sixth Circuit Court.

Seriously, Alan, give up. The Queers have landed legally married in South Carolina!

Back in the olden days — well, late last century — it was always a bit surprising to see interracial couples on scripted TV shows. Not surprising to see them in real life, mind you, but TV always seems to lag behind the real word. I still remember the shock of the Willis’ on The Jefferson’s back in the day.

So, imagine my surprise when two new shows — NBC’s Marry Me and Bravo’s first scripted show The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce — each featured an interracial couple.

And a gay one, to boot — clockwise from top left: Dan Bucatinsky and Tim Meadows from Marry Me, and Patrick Heusinger and J. August Richards from GG2D.

A friend posted this thing on Facebook that you should Google your first name and the word ‘meme’ following. Then go to images and post the first image that comes up.

That one, up there, was the first image that came up, but that — down there — was Number Four and, I felt, far funnier and more apropos.

So, let me get this white: in America you can be shot to death for stealing cigarillos from a store in Missouri, and you can be choked to death for selling “loosies” — single cigarettes — on Staten Island?

Oh, only if you’re Black in America.

AT&T U-verse had a Free HBO weekend over Thanksgiving and so I recorded all the episodes of The Leftovers, which is based on a book I’d read last year about a Rapture-like disappearance of 2% of the world’s population.

Good book, but the show features one Justin Theroux, an ISBL hottie, and star of a Would You Hit It post. Justin appears shirtless, pants-less and nude.

Bob is intrigued.

Down in Houston, two teenage carjackers were met with a wee surprise when trying to steal a car: a stick shift.

The two morons held the motorist at gunpoint trying to take his car, and then demanded that he tell them how to drive it. After the driver provided a few instructions, the teens ordered him out of the vehicle, drove off, probably riding the clutch all the way, and the driver called the police.

Both morons were arrested for carjacking and stupidity.

Speaking of Texas, county clerks in Fort Worth and Houston say they won't issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples even if a federal judge lifts his stay of a ruling striking down Texas' marriage bans.

Bob says you should then be fired for not doing your jobs, and then you can whine about how, while not following the law, and denying Gays the legal right to marry, your own rights were trampled on.

Then you can STFU.

I stopped by Blobby’s Blog this week — on World AIDS Day — and he had written a post and then ended it with a Rosanne Cash song, “I Want A Cure” as a way of tribute.

And that little moment triggered the song that’s been playing on a loop in my head for the week. The song, “Tennessee Flat-Top Box” was one from Rosanne’s childhood — she remembered it being sung to her as a lullaby — and she longed to record it. When she did she found out that old lullaby had been written by her late father, Johnny Cash.

Ferguson Decision: Benjamin Watson's Two Cents

Benjamin Watson plays professional football for the New Orleans Saints and, just before game-time last week, the decision not to indict Darren Wilson for the death of Michael Brown came down. Like many of us, Watson was confused, angry, hurt, sad, pissed off, but took a moment to write his feelings down in a Facebook post that went viral.

Here they are:

 “At some point while I was playing or preparing to play Monday Night Football, the news broke about the Ferguson Decision. After trying to figure out how I felt, I decided to write it down. Here are my thoughts:

I’M ANGRY because the stories of injustice that have been passed down for generations seem to be continuing before our very eyes.

I’M FRUSTRATED, because pop culture, music and movies glorify these types of police citizen altercations and promote an invincible attitude that continues to get young men killed in real life, away from safety movie sets and music studios.

I’M FEARFUL because in the back of my mind I know that although I’m a law abiding citizen I could still be looked upon as a “threat” to those who don’t know me. So I will continue to have to go the extra mile to earn the benefit of the doubt.

I’M EMBARRASSED because the looting, violent protests, and law breaking only confirm, and in the minds of many, validate, the stereotypes and thus the inferior treatment.

I’M SAD, because another young life was lost from his family, the racial divide has widened, a community is in shambles, accusations, insensitivity hurt and hatred are boiling over, and we may never know the truth about what happened that day.

I’M SYMPATHETIC, because I wasn’t there so I don’t know exactly what happened. Maybe Darren Wilson acted within his rights and duty as an officer of the law and killed Michael Brown in self defense like any of us would in the circumstance. Now he has to fear the backlash against himself and his loved ones when he was only doing his job. What a horrible thing to endure. OR maybe he provoked Michael and ignited the series of events that led to him eventually murdering the young man to prove a point.

I’M OFFENDED, because of the insulting comments I’ve seen that are not only insensitive but dismissive to the painful experiences of others.

I’M CONFUSED, because I don’t know why it’s so hard to obey a policeman. You will not win!!! And I don’t know why some policeman abuse their power. Power is a responsibility, not a weapon to brandish and lord over the populace.

I’M INTROSPECTIVE, because sometimes I want to take “our” side without looking at the facts in situations like these. Sometimes I feel like it’s us against them. Sometimes I’m just as prejudiced as people I point fingers at. And that’s not right. How can I look at white skin and make assumptions but not want assumptions made about me? That’s not right.

I’M HOPELESS, because I’ve lived long enough to expect things like this to continue to happen. I’m not surprised and at some point my little children are going to inherit the weight of being a minority and all that it entails.

I’M HOPEFUL, because I know that while we still have race issues in America, we enjoy a much different normal than those of our parents and grandparents. I see it in my personal relationships with teammates, friends and mentors. And it’s a beautiful thing.

I’M ENCOURAGED, because ultimately the problem is not a SKIN problem, it is a SIN problem. SIN is the reason we rebel against authority. SIN is the reason we abuse our authority. SIN is the reason we are racist, prejudiced and lie to cover for our own. SIN is the reason we riot, loot and burn. BUT I’M ENCOURAGED because God has provided a solution for sin through his son Jesus and with it, a transformed heart and mind. One that’s capable of looking past the outward and seeing what’s truly important in every human being. The cure for the Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice and Eric Garner tragedies is not education or exposure. It’s the Gospel. So, finally, I’M ENCOURAGED because the Gospel gives mankind hope.”

Words to live by, to grow by, to understand, and to try and do better.

source

Random Musings ... A Day Late

A day late because yesterday was a day for just Carlos and me … and the kids.

Nice holiday, gorgeous, but cold, weather, and a delicious meal, our first Thanksgiving as Husband-and-Husband.

Carlos made his Martha Stewart Turkey and Homemade Cranberry Sauce with a Pumpkin Cheesecake for dessert; I did wine — cuz I loves me some wine — Roasted Brussel Sprouts with Garlic, Red Onion and Pancetta, Sour Cream Mashed Potatoes, and Vanilla Whipped Cream for the cheesecake.

It was a lovely, happy day.So, what else has been on my mind …

Just thought I start off musing about our kids, clockwise from top left:

Tuxedo, the most gorgeous, and smartest, cat ever, followed by Miss Consuelo Roca-Jones, quite the diva — she makes me pale by comparison; followed by MaxGoldberg, of the Boca Raton Goldbergs, a retired Jewish accountant from the Sunshine state; then the lone canine, Ozzo, looking like he’s begging for a doggie brother or sister.

Nothing says Christmas like hate, at least in Uganda.

Abdu Latif Ssebagala, a Ugandan lawmaker who helped draft the country's revised anti-gay law is hoping to have the bill passed this year as a "Christmas gift" for Ugandans:

"The draft is ready and we have strengthened the law, especially in areas of promotion and luring children. Next week we expect to meet the speaker to fix a date for the re-tabling to parliament."

In Uganda, nothing says Happy Holidays like Kill The Gays.

I’m hooked on Jesse J. She has kind of a Jolie-thing going on and she can Bang Bang.

Plus her boyfriend, Luke James, is kinda hot.

Just sayin’.

Last week we talked Carlos’ hair. He was trying to grow it and every day it took on a new persona; yes, he went from Bieber to Jackson to Bob’s Big Boy in the space of a day and a half.

Then I came home one day to find that he’d gotten a haircut, and, well, this is what that looked like … without the tiny mustache, of course:

With a little manipulation, and some product of course, because we’re gay, not animals, it looked like this:

Much better … plus I have the hots for Ralph Fiennes, even as a Nazi, but I was afraid to leave the house whilst Carlos looked like Adolf.

I loved hearing the news reports that Brad and Angie had a big blowout ... some reports called it "explosive" ... in Australia, with pictures of the two of them on a balcony.

Yeah, that's a blowout all right. Maybe they should stop by my house and I'll show them what an explosive blowout looks like.

Plus, do they really think that we think Brad and Angie are so perfect that they have never fought? Grow up.

Look at that!

Mississippi and Arkansas welcomed Marriage Equality this week, meaning that I can travel to the state where I was born — I am a Mississippi boy — and get same-sex married.

Who knew?

Darren Wilson says he is sorry for the shooting Michael Brown to death, but he has a "clean conscience" about what happened and would not do anything differently today.

Hmmm, not a thing differently? You wouldn’t even try to something different so that unarmed man wouldn’t die?

Nice, Darren. You need to go away now, far away.

You know, while watching the news one day I came across White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest.

Hot.

And here’s the song that’s running through the loop in my head this week. Opera singer Dame Kiri Te Kanawa and “The Heart Is Slow To Learn.”

It almost makes me weep … almost.