Sunday Funnies

If Christians Can Pass Out Bibles, Satanists Can Pass Out Coloring Books

Okay, so … religion. It’s fine for those that want it, and it’s fine for those that don’t. But the problem lies within certain religious groups because some folks believe their faith is the only faith and all others are meaningless. But, sometimes, well, a lot of times, they’re proven wrong and then a little kerfuffle ensues.

Case in point:

Down in Florida, or as I have often called it, having lived there, Flori-duh, the Orange County Schools have allowed a group called World Changers of Florida to distribute Bibles in public schools.

Twice!

Naturally, this does not sit well with those of us who believe in a Separation of Church and State, but it also doesn’t sit well with The Freedom From Religion Foundation — an atheist group — who wanted equal time in the schools and threatened a lawsuit.

So, to settle that suit, and because they know they’re wrong wrong wrong, Orange County Schools agreed to allow The Freedom From Religion Foundation to pass out their atheist materials in school as well.

And that’s where the Satanists come in.

The Satanic Temple wants equal access to the schools as well, to distribute its Satanic Children's Big Book of Activities, a coloring book. Lucien Greaves, spokesman for The Satanic Temple explained the group's motive, saying the Satanic Temple:

“would never seek to establish a precedent of disseminating our religious materials in public schools because we believe our constitutional values are better served by respecting a strong separation of Church and State, but if a public school board is going to allow religious pamphlets and full Bibles to be distributed to students—as is the case in Orange County, Florida—we think the responsible thing to do is to ensure that these students are given access to a variety of differing religious opinions, as opposed to standing idly by while one religious voice dominates the discourse and delivers propaganda to youth.”

And while I am not now, nor have I ever been a Satanist, I say, Go for it.If a public school system in this country is going to allow one religious group to come into a public school and pass out their literature, then they must allow each and every other religious group to do the same.

Failing that, maybe those parents who want their kids to have Bible passed out at school should send their children to a church-affiliated school and leave the public schools alone. Not everyone worships Satan, not everyone worships God, hell, oops, not everyone worships at all, so let's keep all of these faiths, these belief systems out of public schools and stick to reading, writing and arithmetic.

Otherwise your children will spend all their time collecting literature from Christians and Catholics and Jews and Muslims and Buddhists and Satanists and Pagans and Wiccans and Atheists and Agnostics and never really get any education at all.

via NCRM

Have You Heard? If You Don't Swear To 'God' You Can't Join The Air Force

I never wanted to join the military, even though I come from a military family. My father served twenty-plus years in the Air Force and even my sister enlisted. But I never had the inkling to join up, probably because I am staunchly anti-gun, anti-violence, anti-war; yeah, maybe that had something to do with it. But I am grateful for the men and women who do join up, in any branch of the military, and I respect and value their service, and their desire to serve.

Sadly, though, the Air Force doesn’t seem so keen on some enlistees, especially someone who wants to reenlist. At a time when the Air Force, and any branch of service, should be holding the door open to anyone who wants to serve, and is capable of serving, they have decided not to allow one man to reenlist because he crossed out the words "so help me God" at the end of the Air Force oath of allegiance.

His attorney, Monica Miller, with the Apignani Humanist Legal Center, says her client was informed the Air Force would not accept his reenlistment contract because he had crossed out the ‘God’ and that he had just two options: say the oath as written, or leave the Air Force.

In a letter to the inspectors general of the Air Force, Miller said the airman should be allowed to reenlist under a secular oath, and not have to swear to ‘God’ and added that the airman is set to sue the Air Force if he is not allowed to reenlist.

What’s odd is that, up until last October, you were allowed to omit the words ‘so help me God’ from the oath, but for some reason the rules were changed and now this man, who has served his country already, and wants to continue his service, won’t be allowed to because, well, God.

An Air Force spokeswoman confirmed the new policy:

"Reciting ‘So help me God’ in the reenlistment and commissioning oaths is a statutory requirement under Title 10 USC 502. (AFI 36-2606) is consistent with the language mandated in 10 USC 502. Paragraph 5.6 [and] was changed in October 2013 to reflect the aforementioned statutory requirement and airmen are no longer authorized to omit the words ‘So help me God'.”

Basically, the Air Force cannot change its instructions to make “so help me God” optional unless Congress — oh lordy, now the Do-Nothing-Congress is involved — changes the law requiring it. Never mind the fact that to an airman, an atheist airman, swearing to God would be a lie, and never mind that, according to Miller, Article VI of the Constitution prohibits religious tests, and therefore In fact, in the trumps the Air Force Instruction. In fact, in the 1961 case Torcaso v. Watkins, the Supreme Court ruled that “neither a State nor the Federal Government can constitutionally force a person ‘to profess a belief or disbelief in any religion.’”

You know, that whole Freedom of Religion thing we thought we had going on in this country.

As I was saying, I never wanted to be part of the military, and yet here we have someone who has served, and wants to continue serving, but will not be allowed to reenlist because he refuses to swear to God.

This is really getting ridiculous, y’all.

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One More Reason To Pray For Arizona ... and America

Oh, Arizona. After the ‘Show me your papers’ mess a couple of years ago, and the Governor Jan Brewer tales of headless bodies in the desert that turned out to be a lie, you kinda settled down a bit. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still the equivalent of an old man in Hagar slacks sitting on his front porch yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn, but you’ve settled down some for a moment.

But now we have busses filled with migrant children and Sean Hannity with guns and self-loathing homosexual Sheriff Paul Babeu acting the fool, and Adam Kwasman, Arizona political loon — see post below — and, well, you’ve come roaring back up to the top of the charts … the Crazy Charts … with this:

Out there in Mesa, Arizona, the Heritage Academy requires that its students read “The 5,000 Year Leap” and “The Making of America,” by Cleon Skousen; both books claim that America was founded as a Christian nation, and not a secular nation as it has been since the beginning.

So, they require their students to learn a lie because most folks know, know, that our Constitution makes no reference to God or even the Baby Jesus; it says not a word about Christianity. What it does say, however, is anyone and everyone is allowed to practice whatever belief they choose; religious, non-religious, makes no difference.

But students at Heritage Academy don’t learn that; they are being indoctrinated into a teabagging, conservative spewing, lie living sect that puts Christianity — all other faiths and non-believers be damned — at the forefront of politics. And yet that’s not all they learn at Heritage Academy.

Skousen’s book, “The Making of America” claim s slavery was “beneficial” to African Americans and that Southern racism was caused by the ‘intrusion’ of northern abolitionists and advocates of equality for the freed slaves.

Slavery good, y’all; even for the slaves! The book also includes an essay by Fred Albert Shannon that claims white children were jealous of the ‘freedom’ that black slave children enjoyed:

“If [black children] ran naked it was generally from choice, and when the white boys had to put on shoes and go away to school they were likely to envy the freedom of their colored playmates.”

Those poor white children had to go to school and become educated while the black children got to run naked and play … then work in the fields, work in the plantation houses, sleep ten to twenty a room, with barely a blanket upon which to rest. Oh, and let’s not forget that slaves were also beaten and tortured for learning even the simplest things, like reading and writing. I wonder if the white children were jealous of the beatings, too.

Arizona; where a charter school is teaching its students that slavery was good for black people; that we are a Christian nation, with laws given to us by the Almighty herself; that there is no Separation of Church and State in the Constitution. And if you think this one school — though there are no doubt others — is an anomaly, and doesn’t reflect any current, large-scale viewpoint in the country, you might wanna rethink.

Think about Arizona Republican Jim Brown who, in a post on Facebook, said this:

“I want folks to think about something. I want folks to think about how slavery really works. Back in the day of slavery, slaves were kept in slavery by denying them education and opportunity while providing them with their basic needs.  Not by beating them and starving them. (Although there were isolated cases if course) Basically slave owners took pretty good care of their slaves and livestock and this kept business rolling along.”

Slavery was good for slaves because they were taken care of like animals.

Think about Jon Hubbard, a Republican member of the Arkansas House of Representatives, who wrote in a book that slavery was "a blessing" for African-Americans:

“… the institution of slavery that the black race has long believed to be an abomination upon its people may actually have been a blessing in disguise. The blacks who could endure those conditions and circumstances would someday be rewarded with citizenship in the greatest nation ever established upon the face of the Earth.”

Live long enough, suffer the abuse and beatings and torture and maybe, maybe, you can become a citizen; if you don’t die first.

Think about Nevada GOP state representative Jim Wheeler who said he would do whatever his constituents wanted, damn the consequences. Then Chuck Muth, the leader of a conservative group called Citizens Outreach asked Wheeler what if his constituents wanted to bring back slavery, and Wheeler responded:  “Hey, if it’s what the citizens want, right Jim?”

Think about the racist Arizona conservatives who once refused to honor Martin Luther King Day.

That’s Arizona; that’s the future of Arizona, and other parts of this country, because of so-called schools like the Heritage Academy that teach outright lies and conservative-only lessons; schools that actually teach only parts of the Constitution and outright deny that other parts of that document even exist.

Heritage Academy is taking all kinds of criticism over their curriculum, but they say they will not change what they teach and how they teach it. And there’s not a lot that can be done about it, save understanding what their curriculum teaches and either removing your children from that school or simply avoid attending it in the future.

Charter schools receive public funding but operate independently, so it’s easier to teach students things that aren’t part of the standard state or federally approved curriculum, so why aren’t we pulling public funding from these schools like they’ve done in the United Kingdom?

Why not pull funding from any charter school that teaches that slavery is good and that God made America?

Surely even the people of Arizona know a lie when they see one?

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Polly Neace Says She Was Fired For Being A Good Christian

If I’ve said it once on this blog, I’ve said it a billion times, I don’t exaggerate! I kid; what I’ve said is that I have my own religious/spiritual beliefs and they are mine and while I might share them I don’t expect you to embrace them, follow them, live by them or even understand them. And, in return, I don’t care if you worship no one and nothing, God, Goddess, Allah, Liza, Buddha, Mother Earth, Father Time, Papa Smurf, just don’t push it on me and we’ll get along fine.

Sadly, some folks don’t get that idea and think they can preach to you while buying a cup of coffee, a bag of groceries, or doing your banking.

Polly Neace, a U.S. Bank teller in Kentucky, says she was fired because she believes in God. Polly doesn't just go to church on Sundays; she brings church with her every day of the week and says that she was terminated from her job for telling clients to "Have a blessed day."

"I say, 'Have a blessed day,' all of the time. All of the time. I don't feel there's any better kind of day you can have than a blessed day."—Polly Neace

Now, that doesn’t necessarily bother me, though I’d prefer just a simple thank-you or maybe even “Have a nice day.” But, while Polly says most folks didn’t mind her saying her blessing, she did receive a code of ethics violation in March 2011 after several customers complained about her using the phrase.

Of course, though she admits to receiving the violation notice, Neace maintains no one ever really complained. Okay, maybe they did and maybe they didn’t; but she feels “Have a blessed day” isn’t so offensive, and so she took her sermons a step further and began asking customers if they accepted Jesus as their savior.

Honey, just cash my check.

Neace was reprimanded and given multiple warnings, but continued with the phrase because, well, God, and God says she should be able to say whatever she wants and inflict her devout faith on anyone and everyone. So, Polly says she complained about the whole mess and, she says jokingly, told a manager she might as well go back to saying "have a blessed day" and be fired.

And she was fired the next day.

Of course, because she’s a good Christian woman who simply wanted to spread The Word, even to people who just wanted to do their banking and get on with their day, Neace says she has been persecuted for her religious beliefs and is, naturally, suing.

I think Polly should sit down, open a newspaper, and find herself a job as a minister because that’s what she truly wants to do; she just picked the wrong place to do it.

Not everyone wants to hear from you, Polly; not everyone shares your faith, Polly. I was hoping to read about someone who responded to your query about Jesus say, "No, but Satan just called and we're doing lunch next Thursday."

Have your faith, love your faith, talk about it until you are Smurf blue in the face, but it doesn't belong at work. That said .... Have a blessed day, Polly.

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