Jeb Fumbles On Same-Sex Mariage ... Again and Again

That darn Jeb Bush; he’s oh-so-presidential, or at least he’s trying to be.

As governor of Florida, he was against same-sex marriage even though he withheld his enthusiasm, and support, for the state’s 2008 campaign to rewrite the Florida Constitution to define marriage as between a man and a woman; but that was only because he left office in 2007.

However, in 2012, during a PBS interview, Jeb suggested that gay parents could be … could be … held up as role models, even as he added that “traditional marriage is what should be sanctioned” by the government. See, he was saying that The Gays are “okay” as parents but, you know, marriage? Oh hell no.

But last year, in a speech to some Republican group, Jeb warned against the GOP being a party seen as against too many things … as in against everything … including being “anti-gay” because, you know, they might look like haters.

And so that fumbling and flip-flopping and saying nothing at all leads us to today, as Jeb thinks about thinking about running for President, and we find him still fumbling on the idea of The Gays getting married, especially, in Florida:

"It ought be a local decision. I mean, a state decision. The state decided. The people of the state decided. But it's been overturned by the courts, I guess."

A local decision? Oh, if the locality is the state; and what’s with the ‘I guess’? Doesn’t he know what’s happening in Florida, or maybe Jeb is reading the same newspapers that the Mama Grizzly Bore™ used to read.

So, so presidential; that darn Jeb. And because he came off as if he had no idea where marriage equality stood in Florida, and because his statement on Sunday made him sound less presidential and more like his idiot brother, his people decided that they needed to try again to have Jeb talk about same-sex marriage and try to come off less baboonish and cartoonish. So, Jeb sat down again, this time with the New York Times, to talk about The Gays and marriage again:

“We live in a democracy, and regardless of our disagreements, we have to respect the rule of law. I hope that we can show respect for the good people on all sides of the gay and lesbian marriage issue – including couples making lifetime commitments to each other who are seeking greater legal protections and those of us who believe marriage is a sacrament and want to safeguard religious liberty.”

See what he did there? He basically said the same thing he said on Sunday; he’s not at all a fan of same-sex marriage but that people should respect those pesky gays and lesbians who want equality as long as The Gays respect religious liberty.

Better? No. It’s just Jeb Bush trying out his message for his run at the White House in 2016, coming across as somewhat okay with marriage equality — if that’s what The Gays want — but making sure we all know that he’s not especially for it, and wants to keep religion at the forefront of the discussion.

He’s kissing asses and pandering to his base at the same time, y’all, and we have 22 months left of it.

via NCRM

People Say The Darndest Things

As I scour this internet thingy, I usually come across the occasional quote that I copy and paste into a future blog posting, like, say, ‘I Didn’t Say It …’ — appearing in this space every Friday morning at 10AM EST ... how's that for a plug?

But sometimes I come across a quote so, either hilarious, or stupid, or hilariously stupid, that I cannot save it until Friday; this is one of those times. I came upon this gem by Anthony Morris III, a member of the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses at Towleroad, so let’s rip …

Morris III apparently believes that God Hates … no, not Fags, that’s Westboro, silly … Tight Pants and Spanx, and believes it’s because they are designed by The Gays. So he said this:

"Some of our sisters - what it are these spanx - these skin tight stuff they wear - when they exercise - they leave their home and they're jogging in this stuff. Look at the verse. Is that appropriate to wear skin tight spanx or whatever they call it? It's not modest and it's certainly not sound of mind. It's really not appropriate. There's really nothing else to say about it. Now you want to be in your home or your room and wear that stuff that's your business. But don't go out like that and say you worship the true God."

I guess Anthony Morris III’s God feels that women should hide their bodies? Or maybe he doesn’t want y’all coming to church all spanxed up? But it isn’t just women; Morris III also has a warning for The Men:

"And the other one that needs addressing is for these young fellas, cause the older ones aren't doing much of it thankfully, is the metrosexual look we've addressed that in the past. What's happened now is that it's really caught on more - the tight suit jacket and the tight pants. Better known as tight pants. They are tight all the way down to the ankles. It's not appropriate. It's not sound of mind. … The homosexuals that are designing these clothes - they'd like you in tight pants."

Well, of course we’d like you in tight pants. We’d like to see what we’re getting before we take it home, because, you know, The Gays only care about having ze sex wiz ze mens in our lairs. Or something.

I think Anthony Morris III needs to spend a little less time thinking about fashion, and tight clothes, and perhaps spend a little more time on his knees.

Praying! Get your minds out of the gutter! What would Anthony Morris III say about you!

Things Stupid People Say, Part 2: Republican Glenn Grothman: People Should Work Seven Days A Week

I thought it might be hard to picker a winner of the Things Stupid People Say Contest, but it wasn’t difficult at all.

It’s Glenn Grothman, a Wisconsin Republican state senator who just might become the next congressman from state's 6th district. I doubt he’s never read a moronic statement, or an outright lie, that he didn’t repeat and repeat and repeat.And, without further ado, here are some of the gems that came dripping out of his piehole.

In 2004, Grothman called for new restrictions on the federal food stamps program because poor people don't act poor enough:

"I've interviewed over a dozen people who check out people who pay with food stamps, and all felt people on food stamps ate better — or at least more costly — than they did. [People] who work in food stores indicate that many people who use food stamps do not act as if they are genuinely poor."

Cuz, you know, being on Food Stamps means you're rich and you eat a whole lot better than other people.

In 2010, Grothman, who believes homosexuality, is a choice, wanted to ban Wisconsin public school teachers from saying the word “homosexuality” in sex education classes because some teachers had an "agenda" to turn kids gay.

I think teachers just want to turn kids into thinking adults, something the GOP probably doesn’t want to happen.

Also in 2010, Grothman continued to rail against homosexuality:

“Did people even know what homosexuality was in high school in 1975? I don't remember any discussion about that at the time. There were a few guys who would make fun of a few effeminate boys, but that's a different thing than homosexuality. Homosexuality was not on anyone's radar. And that's a good thing."

Grothman doesn't just miss the '70s, he’s also said he’d like to go back to those simpler days of the 1950s, when the black folks knew their place and The Gays lived in closets.

In 2011, after voting to repeal Wisconsin's equal-pay protection law, Grothman argued that the male-female pay gap wasn't about discrimination in the workplace:

"Take a hypothetical husband and wife who are both lawyers, but the husband is working 50 or 60 hours a week, going all out, making 200 grand a year. The woman takes time off, raises kids, is not go go go. Now they're 50 years old. The husband is making 200 grand a year, the woman is making 40 grand a year. It wasn't discrimination. There was a different sense of urgency in each person. You could argue that money is more important for men.”

You could win the argument that Glenn Grothman has his head up his ass.

His latest bit of ridiculosity occurred when he proposed rolling back a Wisconsin law that required employers to give workers at least one day of rest per week; he called the existing law "a little goofy":

"Right now in Wisconsin, you're not supposed to work seven days in a row, which is a little ridiculous because all sorts of people want to work seven days a week."

Except Congressmen, who worked just 133 days in 2014. I guess Grothman just means regular folks need to work seven days a week.

Glenn Grothman, perhaps — well, not perhaps, but truly — the dumbest human being on the planet … even edging out the Mama Grizzly Bore™ since she’s less involved with politics these days and more involved with street brawls.

via MotherJones

Things Stupid People Say, Part 1: The Benham Twins: We’re Like ISIS Victims

David and Jason Benham are a couple of mildly attractive contractors, or house flippers, or do-it-yourselfers, who managed to attract the attention of HGTV over the summer. And when the network offered them a TV show, they leapt at the chance to share their expertise with America. Trouble was, they are also experts in the art of homophobia, bigotry, intolerance, and basic rightwing nuttery, and when word got out about all of the anti-gay, anti-women, anti-Muslim things they’ve said over the years, HGTV said, Um, no thanks and quickly canned the show before I ever aired.

Since then the Benham twins have become darlings of the Asshat Set, by basically whining about how they’ve been denied a chance to be HGTV hotties because of their religious beliefs. Not so much, boys; you were denied the chance to be on TV because of your hate speech about The Gays.

Get it queer, dears.

But they haven’t and they won’t and their latest foray into Crazy Talk occurred when they spoke at the Hate Summit, er, the Values Voter Summit, and compared themselves to victims of the terrorist group ISIS.

Oh, but they did.

Jason Benham, who seems to be the bigger, crazier, more asshatted twin, first announced that he and his brother are like Jesus Christ himself, and then David took over with this line, a direct quote out of the mouths of wingnuts:

“There is a radical agenda that has come in our nation. The weapon of choice for the agenda in the Middle East is a sword, but the weapon of choice for the agenda in America is silence. They demand silence.”

Yup, innocent people finding themselves captured by ISIS and then beheaded on live TV are the exact same thing as two delusional rightwingnutted, asshatted loons having their TV show taken away from them.

Out of the mouths of morons ….

via LGBTQ Nation

I Didn't Say It ...

Jennifer Hudson, on how she feels about The Gays supporting her career:

"What I've always admired about the gay community is the independence and the confidence. Just that attitude. I'm so inspired by that, and I feel like, for me, that is my connection. I've never understood, gosh, what does the gay community see in me? You know what I mean? Because again, I grew up around a lot of that and that's the world that embraced me first, so that I've never fully gathered ... because that's where I started. I was just literally looking at old pictures a few minutes ago, and I saw a picture of me performing in a gay club and a picture of being dressed. Drag queens used to dress me, and then I would go and perform. That's where I started, so there's definitely a connection there. I wanted to make sure that I reconnected."

JHud. Love.Her.

Linda Harvey, on the National Organization for Marriage's ongoing boycott of Target over its support for LGBT equality:

“Have you noticed how this is how headlines often read these days? They talk about laws on natural marriage as being ‘bans’ on same-sex so-called marriage. And that’s incorrect because people who are male can still marry people who are female. The only obstacle for a few people is the presence of unnatural desires. Those desires can change with a different mind and heart.”

Oh, that's funny, gay people can marry as long as they marry the opposite sex!
Um, then we wouldn't be in a same-sex marriage you neanderthal.

Miley Cyrus, on social media: 

"You know what hurts your brain? Googling yourself. You know what hurts your brain? Instagram. You know what hurts your brain? Reading comments on Facebook. You know what hurts your brain? Reading US Weekly.”

This is the height of country bumpkin hilarity coming from the media whore herself. I mean, did she think anyone would forget how she Instagrams every single aspect of her life, including her hospitalization last year for, ahem, "exhaustion"?
Sit down, hillbilly, and think on that fer a spell.

T.I., on the accusations that Iggy Azalea is a racist:

“That p-sses me off. Simply because they don’t have any real substantial grounds. ‘I don’t like them.’ Why? ‘Just ’cause.’ What you mean just ’cause? Since when do you get the right to judge people? Who died and made you the emperor of Egypt? That kind of sh-t and then the things that they accuse her of, like the racist stuff. That’s not even her. That’s not even in her. Me knowing her, knowing where she comes from–for real, the whole racist thing, that’s American–we forget, she’s not American. So the whole Black, white, color divided thing, it isn’t a part of her DNA like it is here in America.”

Wow. So racism is a strictly American thing, huh?

I guess you should tell that to the Muslims and the Black folks and the Indians in other parts of the world, including Izzy';s home country.

T.I.? Take a seat next to Miley and put that dunce cap on your head.

Grover Norquist, on attending Burning Man: 

"A community that comes together with a minimum of 'rules' demands self-reliance – that everyone clean up after themselves and help thy neighbor. Some day, I want to live 52 weeks a year in a state or city that acts like this. I want to attend a national political convention that advocates the wisdom of Burning Man."

And yet hes' a 'Bagger who sticks his nose into same-sex marriage and women's vaginas all the time; and when was the last time you saw a Republican help a poor person, or an immigrant, or a lesbian or gay man?
There's room on the bench with Miley and T.I.

I Didn't Say It

Mostly asshats and wingnuts this week ... but let's start with the non-asshat:

John Barrowman, on being photographed with Vine homophobe Nash Grier: 

“When I took the picture with Nash Grier I had no idea that he’d made some homophobic comments, however he’s standing with one of the biggest gay guys in the world, and if he doesn’t change his homophobic attitudes and doesn’t grow up…. then he’s an asshole.”

Word.

James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, on bisexuality:

“If men can marry and if the things that are said about same-sex relationships and marriage and the Bible are misunderstandings, what do you do with the rest of LGBT? What do you do with bisexuality? If one of those is right and proper and holy, what about those who have sex with males and females at the same time? That’s called orgies, that’s what it used to be called, or just sleeping around with everybody and it doesn’t matter. How can a Christian minister who reads the Bible condone that?”

James, you’re a moron. Just because bisexuals are attracted to both genders doesn’t necessarily mean they are having sex with both genders at the same time.

And what of all those so-called straight folks who’ve orgied about? Are they okay because they self-identify as straight?

Ben Carson, anti-LGBT activist loon, agreeing with Dobson, says same-sex marriage is offensive to God: 

“Well, you know, my emphasis is that marriage is an institution established by God himself...So when you start distorting that, you’re really going pretty deep into the finger-in-your-eye to God. That’s why I have a hard time understanding why ministers are willing to do that.”

Um, Ben, you dick. Marriage was an institution created by man, er, men, to make women their property, and those men invoked the name of God to make it sound all the more reasonable; it didn’t work.

The people giving the finger to God are people like you who fight against change because that’s the way you want it to be.

Funny, though, I wonder which side of this argument you’d have fallen on back in the Sixties when interracial marriage went through this same battle.

Bryan Fischer, American Family Association spokestool, saying the First Amendment only applies to Christians:

"I have contended for years that the First Amendment, as given by the Founders, provides religious liberty protections for Christianity only. Most attorney types, befuddled by years of untethered Supreme Court activism, think it covers any and all religions you can name. The results of this expansive but badly misguided understanding of the First Amendment have not been too costly to this point. But with Islam growing in America like a noxious weed, some of the more troublesome aspects of this distorted view of religious liberty are becoming evident, when it comes to things like school curricula, halal food, and Christian evangelism at Muslim street fairs. These problems have been brought into stark relief now by Satanists, who are pressing for exactly the same kind of religious liberty protections the Supreme Court just recognized for Hobby Lobby."

That’s a good Christian there, people. And, of course, quite the storyteller that Freedom of Religion applies to only one faith, even though the First Amendment says nothing about that.

Rick Wiles, certified loon and End Times radio host, on how an Ebola outbreak in the U.S. might be a good thing:

“Now this Ebola epidemic can become a global pandemic and that’s another name for plague. It may be the great attitude adjustment that I believe is coming. Ebola could solve America’s problems with atheism, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, pornography and abortion. If Ebola becomes a global plague, you better make sure the blood of Jesus is upon you..."

How many times have we heard from these so-called “Christians” about how they are being bashed and denied Free Speech and maybe being run out of town on a rail by The Liberals and The Gays and The Gay Friendlies?

And yet I have never once heard anyone associated with the fight for LGBT Rights wish for the death of a single Christian and yet this guy seems to have no problem hoping we all die.

F**kity f**kity f**k f**k f**k.