I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I’m loving the new Fox show, Empire — some critics say it’s the best new show of the year though I won’t go that far — mainly because of Taraji P. Henson who plays Cookie, and plays her fiercely. The downside of Empire? That pile of smug, Terrence Howard, a misogynistic douchebag who has been accused of assaulting women at least six time … that we know about … because he’s kind of Bill Cosby Lite., you know.

Out to promote his show, Terrence wants you to know that he’s a good guy, who was only a douche because he was frustrated as a child because he didn’t know who he was, and that he stopped abusing women last year, after marrying for the fourth time:

“A lot of things that I got involved with in younger days, in the earlier days was the product of my environment. [It was] the product of not knowing how to deal with frustration, the product of not knowing who Terrence Howard is. Now I’m married with a new wife, with a brand new baby. I’ve grown so much from anything that’s happened in the past.”

Let’s dish: Howard’s record of ALLEGEDLY assaulting women dates back to 2000 when he was accused of grabbing and shoving a flight attendant during a flight — he was also accused of assault in 2001, 2005, 2011, and 2012 — and then runs right on through to 2013 when his ex-wife ALLEGED that he “knocked her down” and kicked her in the head.

Howard admitted to some of the assaults when questioned by the police, and has taken plea deals in some situations, and in others, the charges were dropped after being “settled in civil court” AKA payoff court.

So, it’s not really in the past is it? Nor is it anything to forget.

What’s this? Lindsay Lohan got a job? In America?

Lohan is currently shooting a commercial for the Allstate’s online brother, Esurance to air during the Super Bowl.

Seriously, Lohan, who’s been in more accidents than I have fingers, is doing a commercial for car insurance? I mean, how many people has she run over and how many cars has she ruined?

You can’t make this stuff up.

Okay, so it’s no secret that Bruce Jenner no longer looks like Bruce Jenner, Olympian, but looks more like, and I’ll say it, Brenda Jenner; but that’s his business and his life and his face and his Adam’s apple and hair and fingernail polish.

But InTouch Weekly stooped to new low recently by superimposing Bruce’s face onto Stephanie Beacham‘s body and adding full makeup in what most rational folks are seeing an attempt to “out” him as transgender. And, let’s remember that Bruce has never spoken about his new look, er looks, publicly so there is no actual factual truth to the story.

In any case, Bruce isn’t the one who’s angry about the story, no, that falls to That Woman, his ex-wife, because the world revolves around her. She is reportedly so incensed over the story that she has had a meltdown — though you cannot tell by her face which has seen more upgrades and injectibles than Bruce’s — and says she will no longer sell give stories to In Touch; oh, and she did not, oh no she did not, give them this story at all.

A source — and it’s Khloe because, well, what else does she have to do besides Instagram her newly thinned waistline all over town — says, “Kris has cut off contact with In Touch, Life & Style and all Bauer publications. They won’t get any ‘real’ quotes from the family, and will be banned from Kardashian-Jenner red carpets, events, premieres and fashion events.”

Until Kris has something to shill, like her ALLEGED upcoming Playboy spread.

Spread. Ew.

In keeping up with the Bruce Transformation Theme … it appears he might just be ready to talk about his new look, but only if it’s done on, wait for it, it’s so predictable, on the 10th season of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes.

A source — Khloe … yawn — says:

“Bruce and Kris address his changing appearance in a scene they shot together. It will be a plotline.”

Um, if you call it a “plotline” are you finally admitting this is not a “reality” show?

Anyway, you can be sure this “conversation” will be drawn out for an entire season of Kardastrophe until Bruce says he changed his appearance because, well, he wanted to do it … to distance himself once and for all from those famewhores.

Now onto another Kardastrophe, Kanye West Kardastrophe.

He’s talking about the time he was racially profiled by the police … arrested and charged with stealing printers from an OfficeMax back in 2000 … because of his braids.

The story is back now because Kanye was deposed in the case filed against him by a photographer whom Kanye assaulted. In the deposition, Kayne admits to being convicted of a felony and says it was because he was “racially profiled for having a white T-shirt and braids.”

But Kanye gets loose when the details — admitting he was arrested — and doesn’t say where he was when the arrest came down; he does say, of course, that he was already a successful music producer. He also adds that the police doctored evidence to frame him, saying, “I was driving a white Ford Expedition. When I saw the police report, they crossed out where it said ‘Cream Ford Explorer.’”

Cream. White. Oy Kanye, that shrieks conspiracy.

Kanye believes he was convicted of a felony but says it was actually “a mistaken identity for stealing some printers from OfficeMax after I was a platinum producer.”

Maybe he was arrested because his music was so bad, too?

Maybe you never saw it, it was on TV for a hot minute, but LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian‘s reality show has been canceled.

I know! I mean, the couple created the show to dispel rumors about their marriage and how they got together, but apparently no one cared.

Or, everyone knows how they got together: they cheated on their spouses and then dumped the spouses and married one another until such time as one or the other cheats again and that marriage will end and they will each go on to star in another reality show that will be canceled because …

… no one cares about Eddie and LeAnn.

Meanwhile, back at Lohan …

You remember that Lindsay recently completed a not-so-horrific run in Speed-the-Plow in London’s West End and so she’s feeling like a ‘real’ actress again, especially since rumor has it that Oprah wants to capitalize on crazy again and get Lohan a job on Broadway.

My first thought was as an usher but does anyone think Lohan could find a seat in a theater? I mean, there are numbers and letters involved and counting and the alphabet are not her strong suits. But, an insider — possibly Oprah’s husband Gayle — says:

“Oprah bought the rights to several books that she wants to produce for the stage, and Lindsay is begging to be cast in one [but] if that doesn’t work out, she’s hoping Oprah can get her an audition for something like ‘Cabaret.’”

Can you imagine Lindsay Lohan on Broadway? I can’t, not since Giuliani ran the hookers off of 42nd Street!

At a Chris Brown concert you’re just as likely to see him grab his crotch and rap incoherently as get shot.

Truly. Five people were shot at his latest show in San Jose, and now it appears that the judge in charge of Chrissy’s probation isn’t feeling him performing any more. Plus, since Chris went to San Jose without consent of the court, Judge James Brandlin revoked his probation and ordered a further report and hearing on the singer’s status.

A district attorney’s spokesman says Brown specifically violated a provision that forbids him to leave Los Angeles County because he’s still on probation for RihannaGate and still has 200 hours of community service to complete; Two-hundred hours … even if he worked his community service hours off to the tune of fifteen hours a day, he’d barely complete them before his next court date.

Chris Brown is a complete asshat; I mean, he knew he couldn’t leave LA County without permission but feels like the law doesn’t apply to him. I hope the judge tosses his ass back in jail where, when he performs in Cellblock Idol no one will get shot.

In a bit of a Throwback, let’s talk Jason Priestly, known mostly for — okay, known only for — being on 90210 back in the day.

Priestly apparently wrote his memoirs last year because … I don’t know why … and while trying to scare up some interest in them, told a tale of how, while on Beverly Hills 90210, he was on his way to a PR event with Shannon “Crazy” Doherty in a town Car and claims that she bitched at the publicist for not sending a limo to pick her up.

Oooh drama. At least it must have been drama to Shannon — who also has nothing but time on her hands — because  she was just on the Sirius XM show “Just Jenny” — no, not McCarthy thank god — and says Priestly lied about the story because, get this, she hates limos, and he has brain damage … or something:

“I love Jason, but you know he had a car accident, a while ago, a racing accident, and I think maybe parts of his memory got altered from that. Because you know, I’ve addressed this before, everybody changes … they have their own perception of the truth. And his is definitely different than mine. Cause … supposedly I wanted a limo and I’ve always hated limos my entire life. … I just know that at some point, everybody just needs to sell a book, right?”

Lord, two has-beens fighting over a story about a car from 1990? It’s a slow week for gossip.

Taylor Swift is an angel and everyone’s mean to her. I mean, how dare Jake Gyllenhaal show up at a Golden Globes after-party when she was planning on being there, too? She was forced to grab her Gaggle of Besties and head off for the ladies room to bitch and kvetch and cry about her ex :::gasp::: dancing with other girls.

But, it turns out Little TayTay isn’t all Sugar and Spice and inane lyrics and victim of bad boy choices, because, according to Star — hey, sometimes they get it right —she became the Globes Bad Girl by pressuring her BFF, 18-year-old high school friend, Lorde to have a drink at the ball.

A source says Taylor was drinking a rum and coke, but decided to switch to wine and so she started “feeding her rum and coke to Lorde.” Tay Tay apparently told Lorde she didn’t have to drink if she didn’t want to, but kept saying “rum is so good!” and “you’ll feel pretty” and “boys will like you.”

Who knew Taylor was really Rizzo and not Sandy?

So, last week a photo appeared online of John Travolta creeping up on a guy at 3AM in an LA gym; it was creepy because, well, Travolta, gym, massage, ick, and because it’s one of the rare times Travolta’s been photographed without that muskrat on his head.

Now, though, the guy who was creeped up on — one Justin Jones, a married stepfather of two children — has given an interview to The National Enquirer about the incident:

 “I was completely aware of what was happening. He just walks right up to me and introduces himself – ‘Hi, I’m John.’ He asked what I do for a living, if I was married, if I have kids, and what do I do with my spare time. … I understood what was happening when it was happening – it was in his body language. It didn’t make me uncomfortable, but I noticed it.”

It would make me uncomfortable, unless I was in a HazMat suit with a spray bottle of bleach in my hand.

For his part, Travolta explained that he goes to the gym at 3AM to work out because … he … has … kids.

Um, okay?

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Ariana Grande Latte is still, ALLEGEDLY, acting like a spoiled child diva, y’all. Now, to be fair, she’s been trying to work on that, but … cue music …  ♫ ♪ when you’re a brat you’re a brat all the way from your first living breath to your last dying day ♪ ♫ ... shoutout to Sondheim.

But, to hear Ariana tell it, she’s just a nice girl from Boca and everyone else is just lying about her except … well, while she recently took to Twitter to insist that her diva reputation isn’t accurate, the story broke that, while at the BBC Radio 1’s Teen Awards last month, Ariana demanded that an assistant feed her water when she was thirsty, rather than simply carry a bottle herself.

A witness — and it was probably Mariah trying to sneak in a few voice lessons — says, “She had an assistant follow her around with a bottle of water and a straw and as soon as she was feeling a bit parched, she was scream ‘WATER!’ and the girl would scurry over.”

But then baby got angry because the water was too warm, and so after screaming for it, she spit it out.

As I’ve said before, she’s been called Mariah Junior, but she’s trying to outdo the diva, dahlings.

So, we talked a while ago about Halle Berry wanting to lower her child support payments from $16,000 a month to $3,800 a month to Baby Daddy # 1, Gabriel Aubrey because she says he’s living off her money and refuses to work. Halle argued that $3,800 is enough to take care of their daughter Nahla’s expenses and Gabriel can get a job himself to help pay some of the expenses.

Now, Gabriel’s lawyer has a response and, well, it’s a smack at Halle and her husband, AKA Baby Daddy # 2, Olivier Martinez. You may remember that about 2 years ago, Halle, Olivier and Gabriel got into a spat at Halle’s house and Olivier punched Gabriel in the face. And now, Gabriel says, his modeling career has been ruined by the fisticuffs.

But, Gabriel looks as good now as he did then so …. Halle’s lawyer snapped back, posting a list of expenses that Gabriel uses Nahla’s child support to pay for, and arguing that Gabriel should be paying these bills himself:

$740 a month for Gabriel’s “Fitness” — because he needs to stay in shape if Fists Of Fury Martinez should strike again.

$940 a month in clothing — he lists Nahla’s clothing expenses separately — $675 a month

$700 a month for Gabriel’s health insurance — again, if Olivier punches him one more time, he’ll need to see a doctor

$1,975 a month in car expenses — he lives in California, so that’s probably just gas

$1,100 a month in furniture and electronics — for the love of the Baby Jeebus? Is he renting furniture from Rent-A-Center?

Now that I see that, I hope the judge smacks Halle and raises the child support to $32,000 a month so Gabriel can get out from under that RAC contract!

So, two months ago, Lindsay Lohan and her younger brother Michael Jr. were slapped with a cease-and-desist letter by their former business partner Fima Potik who discovered, after parting ways with The Lohans, that those thieving siblings had taken his concept for a virtual shopping app called Spotted Friend and launched their own virtual shopping app called Vigme.

Well, the Lohans being Lohans, they thought a cease-and-desist was a compliment so Michael kept the site up and running so now they’re being sued … for $60,000,000.

Sixty million? Lindsay doesn’t have sixty cents to rub together, so Potik filed a lawsuit claiming Lindsay and Junior stole his idea, along with some big name investors like Arianna Huffington, and started a competing business. He also claims they had access to the Spotted Friend software and a beta version of the app and now he wants $60,000,000.

Well is Lindsay gonna get sixty million? Her Speed-the-Plow ticket prices have plummeted to roughly $25 bucks a seat so she’d have to … wait … carry the one … sell 2,400,000 tickets just to pay him off.

But who’s gonna buy the vodka and the white stuff if she’s paying off that bill?

Calling Oprah! Maybe she will do that second craptastic season of Lindsay!

It seems that police officers in California are getting a little sick of Selena Gomez, and not just because she schtups, breaks up with, schtups, breaks up with, and then schtups Little Justin Bieber.

No, apparently Selena has called police three times claiming that someone was in her house and police have promptly responded to discover that no one, no one, was in Selena’s home, or trying to break into Selena’s home, or anywhere near Selena’s home.

In fact, police have apparently told her to lock the mother-effing door instead of calling police every time she comes home to an unlocked house and thinks someone is inside.

Perhaps she should put Justin on a choke chain with a cartoon of eggs outside her home?

Oh Chris Brown, every time I think you can’t score lower on the Douche-o-meter, you prove me wrong.

It seems Little Chrissy got all kinds of pissy when The Real co-host Adrienne Bailonb talked some smack about his on-again-off-again girlfriend Karrueche Tran. Bailon opined that someone like Karrueche stays with someone like Chris — a twit with anger issues and assault charges — because she loves the Brown Fame Train.

Well, Chrissy didn’t like that and because he’s a douche he took aim at Bailon on social media, the new OK Corral. He posted a picture of Bailon to Instagram — which he later deleted, naturally — calling her a “trout mouth ass bitch” and accusing her of opening her legs to married men while she was opening her legs to Rob Kardashian for fame; oddly, though, that’s the same thing she implied about Tran, eh?

Then, inexplicably, he also went after Bailon’s The Real co-host Tamar Braxton, calling her “Muppet face ass” and “the ugly [Braxton] sister.”

But, even after his rant, and even after deleting the pictures, he wasn’t done shooting off his illiterate mouth. He posted a video of himself to Instagram ranting about folks being entitled to their opinions and that “what you drink don’t make me piss.”

Maybe the title of an upcoming single because that makes no sense. And, of course, the “lady” in question, Karrueche Tran weighed in with her own Instagram rant: “Unlike most of you… I could care less about the opinions of others. Drama doesn’t amuse me – so yes @tamarbraxton I do have a voice, just not like yours. However my bf I can’t speak for. We all know he has no chill.”

Yeah, the angry little boy who beats up girls has no chill.

Howsabout some Mariah?

A photographer has filed a lawsuit against Mimi’s record label claiming that Mimi owes him several thousand dollars after she bailed on a photo shoot for her album cover. The photographer is suing for $150,000, which includes his fee, plus the following expenses:

$65,391 for a stylist to squeeze Mimi into a size 6.

$9,600 for a hair stylist to add yards of human hair to Mimi’s scalp

$7,200 for a makeup artist—meaning a spackler and a plasterer.

$2,400 for a manicurist to de-sharpen Mimi’s talon’s after cutting Nick Cannon from her life

In response to the lawsuit, Mimi’s record label claims they never fully agreed on the terms of the contract, and they’ve pretty much told him to piss off.

That’s $85,000 Mimi spends on people paid to make her look like a natural beauty.

Just sayin’.

I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Jennifer Love Hewitt is one of the most annoying people on the planet, and not just because she asks people to call her Love, though that’s a big part of it.

She’s annoying because she has no discernible talent, other than having ginormous breasts as a teenager on some hit TV show.

She’s annoying because she’s man-crazy, or at least she was until she got knocked up by a random dude she married.

But we’ll go back to before Knocked-Up-Married, to when she was just a stalker who sent Matt Damon a bed.

Yes, she did. And she tells the story like this:

“I was reading an article, and he said this really sad thing about how all his dreams were coming true but he didn’t feel that he had a bed of his own, he was always traveling. I remember being really busy also and thinking, that’s so sad, to have all your dreams come true but not have a solid foundation. So for some reason, I thought an aerobed would help that for him. In my head, I thought, He can travel with it, then it’s always his safe place. I didn’t go over it with anyone, I should’ve been like, “Hey, should I send this to Matt Damon?” and they would’ve been like, “No, you’re crazy, don’t do it!” But I didn’t, so I got the information he was in Paris, filming something, so I sent it to Paris.”

Cray-zay. Naturally, Matt Damon had the bed burned because god knows what filthy things Love had done in it before shipping it halfway around the world to a total stranger.

Cray-zay.

America’s Most decorated Olympian, Michael Phelps, is now on the run to become America’s Most Arrested For DUI Olympian.

Over the weekend, Phelps was arrested on suspicion of DUI in Baltimore for erratic driving and for going 84 MPH in a 45 MPH zone.

The officer who stopped the Olympian said he seemed to be drunk, though, to be fair, Michael Phelps always looks drunk; but there was the stench of booze that also alerted the officer to the crime, and he failed the subsequent series — meaning more than one — of standard field sobriety tests. He was arrested and charged with DUI, excessive speed, and crossing double lane lines.

He was later released and said to be back behind the wheel training for the Jack Daniels Swerve-a-lympics, but for right now he is sorry:

“Earlier this morning, I was arrested and charged with DUI, excessive speeding, and crossing double lane lines. I understand the severity of my actions and take full responsibility. I know these words may not mean much right now but I am deeply sorry to everyone I have let down.”

Oh yeah, this is Phelp’s second DUI so yeah, his words don’t mean much at all.

I admit it, I have been watching The View lately now that Grandma Barbara has been sent to a farm where she can run and play with all the other retired journalists. I watch because, most of the time, I like Whoopi Goldberg and her common sense approach to life, and because Rosie O’Donnell is back and one of the other co-hosts used to work for Rosie’s archenemy George “War For Oil” Bush. I thought that would be a catfight worth watching, but apparently Rosie and the Republican are getting along well, but it’s Rosie and Whoopi who are fighting.

According to sources — and by sources I mean a studio filled with people — Rosie and Whoopi got into a shouting match during a commercial break that ended with Whoopi tossing every filthy word she could think of at O’Donnell.

Rosie was discussing how she feels about spanking your children during the Hot Topics segment and as they ran out of time, the producers told Whoopi to end the discussion and go to a commercial break.

Ruh-roh. Now, Rosie doesn’t wear the earpiece so she didn’t hear the producers call for the Shut Rosie Down and once they went to commercial, Rosie grabbed the mic they use for talking to the audience and started ripping into Whoopi for cutting her off and saying she “hurt her feelings”.

Whoopi set down her joint — I kid, she smokes backstage y’all — and warned Rosie that this was neither the time nor the place, but Rosie continued to go full-Rosie, telling the audience:

“Well I just don’t appreciate you saying that you were going to do something and not doing it. It makes me upset and I just don’t want to have to go through this.”

That’s when Whoopi, who never met an F-bomb she didn’t drop, pick back up and drop again, said:

“Fuck it, I told you to leave it alone and you just don’t want to listen. If you want to go there Rosie, I will dammit. I’m really sick of your shit.”

Cat Fight! Except … the “sick of your shit” comment seemed to shut Rosie down — too bad Hasselbeck didn’t know that — and so The Other Rosie, AKA  Rosie Perez tried to lighten the mood by saying to the audience:

“Oh shit, Twitter is going to be off the hook now. They’re about to get it.“

Afterwards Barbara Walters wrote Rosie Perez a check for $5 million dollars and elevated her status to Co-Host Referee.

I don’t know anyone who likes going to the dentist, but Charlie Sheen must really hate it …

It appears that the former 2.5 Men star, and current star of the aptly named Anger Management, went berserk on a dental technician after she placed a mask on his face for nitrous oxide.  Sheen ALLEGEDLY reacted by be waving his arms and ultimately hitting her, and the dentist is now claiming that Sheen pulled out a knife and tried to attack him.

How? Why?

Oh, Sheen’s bodyguard made the apologies, by saying Charlie was high on rock cocaine at the time, but even after the mea culpa the Los Angeles Police Department is looking into the incident.

Justin Bieber who was banging Selena Gomez when he ALLEGEDLY banged Miranda Kerr — whose ex, Orlando Bloom punched The Biebs in a Spanish nightclub — is now ALLEGEDLY banging Kendall Jenner who is ALLEGEDLY banging the tiny tot so he can introduce her to Chris Brown because that’s her end game.

I need an Excel spreadsheet to keep up with this pool of STDs.

Small Bites … Ben Affleck’s penis makes its film debut in Gone Girl. I heard it’s a small part.

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

This Mariah Carey-Nick Cannon split seems to have been in the works for weeks, even though Nick just confirmed it last week. The lawyers were already involved and the financial stuff figured out. But no one's heard from Mimi and apparently that's how she wants it done ... SILENCE!! ... even from Nick.

Mariah knew that Nick wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut, so she hit him with a confidentially agreement.  It seems Nick and Mariah's lawyers hashed out the agreement as part of their divorce and ... as most things are were in their marriage ... it’s completely one-sided.

Nick is barred from saying anything about the split and if he does then he will pay, financially. Yes, Mama Mimi will cut off any monies Nick might receive in the settlement if he opens his yap. And now he's zipped up tighter than Mariah in an evening gown on the way to Mickey D's for lunch.

Sidenote: post-split annoncement, Nick has taken to dressing like a 12-year-old boy, while Mariah has begun to look like Joan Collins, circa 1983 Dynasty.

Seriously, Mimi? You look like the Dowager Countess.

Chris Brown was hosting a pre-VMAs party at 1Oak club in LA last weekend when, as happens when brown is around, Suge Knight, founder of Def Row Records, was shot repeatedly at the bash. 

Oh, he’ll be fine, but Chrissy is taking this time to complain about the gunfire at the 1Oak Corral by Tweeting:

"It's disappointing that we as a society can't have fun or enjoy ourselves without any altercations sometimes. Miss me with the bullshit."

So, disappointing, because usually it's Chris Brown throwing punches at his girlfriend's face ... or Chris Brown throwing a chair out the window at GMA ... or Chris brown beating up a fan in Washington DC ... or Chris Brown starting a fight with Frank Ocean over a parking space ... or Chris Brown braking the windows of his Mama's car because he wasn't being released from anger management rehab.

How.Disappointing.Indeed.

About a week ago, news came out that Ed Bernero, the showrunner of "brilliant" actress Katherine Heigl's craptastic new TV show, State of Affairs, was leaving the show. And everyone involved with the series made sure to spread the word that his “exit doesn’t have anything to do with the show’s star.” 

Seems like overkill, no? Especially in light of this Heigl Tale ... Mike Walker, of the National Enquirer ... hey, they broke the John Edwards story ... says he has a source on the State of Affairs set and claims that Heigl made producers reshoot an entire scene because she didn’t like the way her ass looked. And ALLEGEDLY her co-star, Alfre Woodard, suggested that Heigl hire herself a butt double to make sure her ass always looks good on-camera.

I knew she was a pain in the ass, but I never knew her ass was such a pain to photograph.

It wasn’t that long ago that Jennifer Lopez called it quits with her most-recent boy-toy, and backup dancer, Casper Smart, because he was ALLEGEDLY banging a couple of transsexual models and JLo likes to be the only one her beau's are banging.

So, out with Casper and in with Maksim, another dancer ... sigh. 

But, recently, when JLo appeared on Chelsea Lately, Handler asked her about her dating future and JLo said this ... with a serious face:

“I like being in a relationship. I’m not one to like, whore around, and stuff like that—that’s not my thing.”

Like she wasn't whoring around with Ojani Noa, Diddy, Ben Affleck, Cris Judd, Marc Anthony, Casper Smart and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Seven men in fourteen years ... so she basically whores around for two years at a stretch and then moves on.

Meanwhile, back at Mimi and Nick ... I've always thought Mariah was crazy, and growing crazier year by year. I mean, how else to explain her sense of, um, style, when she grows older but proceeds to dress more and more like a Bratz doll stuck in a Claire's store in real life?

Well, it seems as if Mimi's mental state is the reason behind her split with Nick, and not his ALLEGED cheating. Sources say Nick has made it clear to everyone that he's worried about Mariah’s emotional state and is ending the marriage for the well-being of their kids. He believes the environment around Mariah is toxic and fears for his children.

And the child support baggage they bring with them, I imagine.

Still, Nick believes his kids have already shown signs of emotional upset by living in Mimi's World'o'Crazy and he wants them raised in a more stable, less manic and sequined, environment. He also thinks her "people" don’t care about anything but her ability to make money and pay their salaries.

So, which is it? Nick cheating? Mariah crazy?

You know which side I fall on ...

Last Sunday’s VMAs were shockingly scandal free since there were no twenty-something girls backing their asses up on thirty-something men’s crotches and calling it “entertainment” so someone had to be daring and, well, it fell on Nicki Minaj to have an incident.

Or did she?

See, Nicki had a wardrobe malfunction during her song when she ran off stage to change clothes and then returned in a dress which appeared unzipped. She tried holding it together so that we could be spared a Janet Jackson moment, but was it real, or was it rehearsed?

Nicki says it was an accident, and yet, during the dress rehearsal, the exact same thing happened; she returned to the stage with the front of her dress opened and then rehearsed how to dance around holding it closed. I think the ‘dress rehearsal’ was to see how Nicki could work the stage in an accidentally” unzipped dress and not be totally nude.

Uh huh.

Remember how Lindsay Lohan filed that crack-y lawsuit against the makers of Grand Theft Auto because, she said, the character “Lacey Jonas”, a cracked out has been actress with family issues and drug problems was based on her?

Well, the makers of GFA want the lawsuit thrown out of court and they want Lohan fined for, well, being Lohan and wasting everyone’s time. Lohan had sued manufacturer Take-Two Interactive saying they used her image — of a washed up actress — for the cartoon character of Lacey Jonas without her permission.

Now, Take-Two says the only physical similarity between Lindsay and Lacey is that they’re both young blondes and adds:

“The portrayal of a Hollywood figure being chased by paparazzi, of course, is hardly unique to Ms. Lohan. She also alleges that Grand Theft Auto V features a hotel similar to the Hotel Chateau Marmont of West Hollywood, where she once resided. This allegation underscores the thinness of Ms. Lohan’s claims: GTAV is a parody of Los Angeles, so it is unsurprising that it features similar buildings.”

I’ve a feeling this lawsuit will be tossed out faster than Lohan being tossed out of 1Oak in New York last year, and tossed out faster than the suit she filed against rapper Pitbull, claiming he improperly used her arrest in song lyrics.

Seriously, Lindsay, if you need money, get a job.

GET.A.JOB.

And let's end with good news ...

A lot of folks may not like them — well, they may not like her — but I love them both and, after nine years and six kids, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have gotten married.

While those Hollywood people were fawning over the Emmys and the VMAs Brad and Angie tied the knot in Chateau Miraval France, last weekend. It was a private affair, family and friends, and as Angelina has always said, their kids were a part of the couple’s big day. Angelina walked down the aisle with her eldest sons Maddox and Pax, while Zahara and Vivienne threw petals, and Shiloh and Knox served as ring bearers.

In advance of the nondenominational civil ceremony, Brad and Angelina obtained a marriage license from a local California judge who also conducted the ceremony in France.

Congratulations to the happy couple and the whole family.