The Turtle is a Liar

Two things I will not abide by: lying, dumbass politicians and zucchini bread. Guess which one is on my mind today?

Y’all remember back in Ott-Eight when Barack Obama kicked John McCain’s* ass to the curb? I still feel warm and tingly thinking about that. I also feel warm and tingly when I think what The Turtle, AKA Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell, said at the time … and I’ll paraphrase:

“Our one job is to make sure Barack Obama is a one-term president.”

He said it, I didn’t. And what’s worse than saying it is that he and the rest of his Angry Rich White Men Only Party, couldn’t even do that; Obama kicked GOP ass again in 2012, so The Turtle was wrong about that, though he was right about one thing: the GOP had one job during Obama’s first term and they would do, and did do, absolutely nothing else.

Unless you count the fifty-some-odd attempts to repeal the Affordable Healthcare Act, which they couldn’t even do. Unless you count the government shutdown, for which We The People are now paying some $24 billion.

So, Mitch and his cronies did absolutely nothing for six years and yet, and it still boggles my mind, a lot of you voted them into power and even re-elected the dumbasses who sat on their cushy fat asses — when they weren’t on vacation — and did absolutely nothing. And now The Turtle is back to his old tricks of saying things that are untrue … okay, they’re outright lies …

Mitch McConnell is trying to rewrite his history of obstruction and failure by taking credit for the economic growth that has occurred under President Obama by saying this on the Senate floor:

“After so many years of sluggish growth, we’re finally starting to see some economic data that can provide a glimmer of hope. The uptick appears to coincide with the biggest political change of the Obama administration’s long tenure in Washington: The expectation of a new republican congress.”

Wait. What? All of this happened the Wednesday after the election last November? We suddenly went from Bad to better in the space of about twelve hours?

Siddown Mitch, your stupid is showing.

The facts are that the economy gained over 11 million jobs in spite of Mitch McConnell and his Angry Rich White Men Only Party’s efforts to keep the recession going; or does Mitchy expect anyone to really believe that the economy started improving back in 2011 because we knew the GOP would take control of Congress in 2014?

Mitch? Pull your head back inside your shell, your stupid is showing.

The GOP has done nothing in the last six years and with nothing to show for their hefty paychecks, free healthcare, paid vacations, they need to so-opt Obama’s victories and try to play them off as they own; but they can’t … except to those dumbasses who checked off the GOP box last November, and voted for a party that has done nothing for them — unless they’re rich and white and male — for far too long.

I could go on, but I’ll let DNC Communications Director Mo Elleithee respond to Mitch McConnell’s lunacy:

“Hahahahahahahahahahaha. That Mitch McConnell is one funny guy. He likes to remind people all the time that he’s not a scientist. Now we know he’s not a mathematician or an economist either. The fact is, under President Obama we’ve had 57 straight months of private sector job growth leading to nearly 11 million jobs added. All Republicans have given us is a government shutdown that cost the economy $24 billion. I get why he wants to take credit for the economic recovery. But maybe he should first do something to help contribute to it.”

Siddown Mitch, before someone turns you on your back and you can’t get up again.

Hmmmmmmm ….

*Correction, thanks to Anonymous
via PoliticusUSA

ISBL Asshat of the Week: Shannon Bream

But first … a programming note: 

Carlos and I are both off work today and will be out and about taking care of some errands most of the day, so my Golden Globes Post, AKA A Golden Stream … of Consciousness, will post tomorrow, as will my Best and Worst Dressed lists because you just know this queen loves awards shows and awards show fashion and awards show hot men.

So stayed tuned tomorrow, but right now we’ll present our ISBL Asshat of the Week:

After the recent terrorist shootings at the Paris offices of Charlie Hebdo, satirical magazine, all the news channels have been on high alert with stories of terror around the world.

As happens, though, Fox News has been busy trying to make this Obama’s fault … Thanks Obama … by making Charlie Hebdo the new Benghazi. But this isn’t about Fox News being stupid, it’s about Fox News’ show ‘Outnumbered’ and the host Shannon Bream being stupid and racist and stupidly racist.

On the show last week, the hosts and panel got into a discussion about how Paris police didn't have enough weapons, which is why, according to Fox News, Islamic extremist terrorists were able to murder twelve people at the magazine.

And that’s when Shannon Bream, an ALLEGED news anchor — and I use that word because it’s neither news nor is she an anchor — began talking off-the-cuff about how police would be able to identify "bad guys" if they wore ski masks because they wouldn’t "even know what color … what the tone of their skin was":

"That's my question about these guys because if we know they were speaking unaccented French and they had, you know, ski masks on, do we even know what color they were? What the tone of their skin was," she tried to clarify – as if that were less racist. "I mean what if they didn't look like typical bad guys?"

You know, cuz bad guys are not white skinned, they brown or black skinned.

Worse than the fact that Bream, a corporate lawyer, so you know she at least has a college education, could say those things is the notion that none of the other Fox News talking heads even questioned her statement.

This is, again, ALLEGEDLY a news channel and the blatant racism of the hosts of the program not only occurs, but goes unchecked by other panelists.

Is it any wonder we still need the conversation about race in this country when the racism is blatant, in your face, and on TV spewing forth from the mouth of a Fox News bimbo unchecked?

Shannon Bream, our ISBL Asshat of the Week!

via NCRM

Jeb Fumbles On Same-Sex Mariage ... Again and Again

That darn Jeb Bush; he’s oh-so-presidential, or at least he’s trying to be.

As governor of Florida, he was against same-sex marriage even though he withheld his enthusiasm, and support, for the state’s 2008 campaign to rewrite the Florida Constitution to define marriage as between a man and a woman; but that was only because he left office in 2007.

However, in 2012, during a PBS interview, Jeb suggested that gay parents could be … could be … held up as role models, even as he added that “traditional marriage is what should be sanctioned” by the government. See, he was saying that The Gays are “okay” as parents but, you know, marriage? Oh hell no.

But last year, in a speech to some Republican group, Jeb warned against the GOP being a party seen as against too many things … as in against everything … including being “anti-gay” because, you know, they might look like haters.

And so that fumbling and flip-flopping and saying nothing at all leads us to today, as Jeb thinks about thinking about running for President, and we find him still fumbling on the idea of The Gays getting married, especially, in Florida:

"It ought be a local decision. I mean, a state decision. The state decided. The people of the state decided. But it's been overturned by the courts, I guess."

A local decision? Oh, if the locality is the state; and what’s with the ‘I guess’? Doesn’t he know what’s happening in Florida, or maybe Jeb is reading the same newspapers that the Mama Grizzly Bore™ used to read.

So, so presidential; that darn Jeb. And because he came off as if he had no idea where marriage equality stood in Florida, and because his statement on Sunday made him sound less presidential and more like his idiot brother, his people decided that they needed to try again to have Jeb talk about same-sex marriage and try to come off less baboonish and cartoonish. So, Jeb sat down again, this time with the New York Times, to talk about The Gays and marriage again:

“We live in a democracy, and regardless of our disagreements, we have to respect the rule of law. I hope that we can show respect for the good people on all sides of the gay and lesbian marriage issue – including couples making lifetime commitments to each other who are seeking greater legal protections and those of us who believe marriage is a sacrament and want to safeguard religious liberty.”

See what he did there? He basically said the same thing he said on Sunday; he’s not at all a fan of same-sex marriage but that people should respect those pesky gays and lesbians who want equality as long as The Gays respect religious liberty.

Better? No. It’s just Jeb Bush trying out his message for his run at the White House in 2016, coming across as somewhat okay with marriage equality — if that’s what The Gays want — but making sure we all know that he’s not especially for it, and wants to keep religion at the forefront of the discussion.

He’s kissing asses and pandering to his base at the same time, y’all, and we have 22 months left of it.

via NCRM

Ted Cruz: Two-Time Equine Posterior Achievement Award Winner and an ISBL Asshat Winner

You gotta hand it to Ted Cruz. I mean, no one in Congress works harder at doing nothing than our visitor from Canada — who decided to become a US citizen so he could run from president … of his homeowner’s association because that’s as close to a presidential office as he’ll ever get.

But, while accomplishing nothing other than shutting the government down because he’s a pissy little brat, Ted has also been the recipient of several honors. He’s been an ISBL Asshat of the Week more than once, and just recently he won the coveted Equine Posterior Achievement Award, which is the People For the American Way’s annual prize for the country's most extreme right-wing politician.

And by right-wing I mean asshat, er, Horse’s ass. And it wasn’t even close! Cruz won by a 21-point margin repeating his 2013 victory, when he beat out the likes of Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin for the coveted award. Seriously. He’s more of a Horse’s Ass than those two! That’s a prize-winner if I ever saw one!

Ted Cruz bested MGB™ and Crazy Eyes by pulling another stunt that backfired … badly. He’d hoped to humiliate President Obama and congressional leaders by challenging a bipartisan budget bill as a way to show his anger over Obama’s executive actions on immigration, but, instead, his maneuver was handily defeated and gave Senate Democrats the opportunity to put several judicial and executive nominees up for a vote before Republicans took control of the chamber.

Thanks for helping the Democrats, Ted!

Ted’s previous Horse’s Ass win in 2013 was due to his spearheading the opposition to a constitutional amendment to overturn the Supreme Court’s 2010 Citizens United decision by falsely claiming that the amendment would throw comedians in jail and muzzle pastors.

He also threatened civil disobedience to block the enforcement of LGBT rights measures, introduced new measures to prevent marriage equality, said same-sex marriage is “heartbreaking” and causes his heart to weep and alleged that LGBT rights laws will put pastors in prison.

Cruz also stood by lawless rancher Cliven Bundy , notorious for his racist remarks and refusal to recognize the U.S. government’s authority, while at the same time torpedoing the nomination of a noted civil rights attorney , whom he accused of “fanning…flames of racial tension.”

Cruz also wants to go to war with net neutrality , although he doesn’t seem to have a clue about what net neutrality actually means.

Ted Cruz, a Horse’s Ass and an ISBL Asshat; what an honor.

via RightwingWatch

Rush Limbaugh: At Least He Admits He's Racist

This morning I talked about Stupid Anna Kooiman and lo and behold I found some more stupid, this time in the guise of Stupid — possibly drug addicted — and Racist Rush Limbaugh.

Back Story: one interesting email from the Sony Hack details the idea that ounce Daniel Craig is done playing Bond, the role should go to Elba … Idris Elba. If you don’t know him, he’s British, talented and, yes, hot. Oh, and he’s Black, too, which is what has caused Limbaugh’s gut to heave and contract. He says Elba cannot be James Bond because he is black.

Limbaugh told his shrinking syndicated radio show audience that Bond was intended to be a white man by creator Ian Fleming:

"James Bond is a total concept put together by Ian Fleming. He was white and Scottish. Period. That is who James Bond is, was, but now [they are] suggesting that the next James Bond should be Idris Elba, a black Briton, rather than a white from Scotland. But that’s not who James Bond is and I know it’s racist to probably point this out."

It is racist, Rush, and also slightly wrong, because you see, in Fleming’s first books about the secret agent, Bond wasn’t Scottish; he only began adding hints of a Scottish ancestry to 007’s back-story after the success of Sean Connery’s first movie as Bond, Dr No, in 1962, so, Rush, you’re wrong about Bond being Scottish.

But then he Doubles Down on Dumb by saying that casting Elba as Bond is akin to casting George Clooney and Kate Hudson as Barack and Michelle Obama in a presidential biopic … Kelsey Grammer as Nelson Mandela the next time a film was made about the South African freedom fighter.

Rush? Honey? Step away from the prescription meds because I’ve got a secret to tell you: Bond is not a real person so he could be played by any number of actors, Black or White, Asian, Latino … heck, Bond might even be female one day.

As for the Obama’s, or Mandela, or even Abe Lincoln, well, since they are real people, then they should be played by actors of the same race in a film, but even if they weren’t, it would probably be okay because it might make interesting storytelling.

That kinda makes sense, but the only think that you said that makes any sense at all is, “I know it’s racist to probably point this out.”

It is; you’re a racist. Sit down.

As a palate cleanser from Rush's lunacy, i need a little Idris Elba, looking very Bond.

via The Guardian

Another Christmas Asshat: Stacey Clueless Dash

Stacey Dash used to be an actress. She was marginally successful in Clueless — which was, perhaps, an omen of her future life — but she’s really just a bit part actress  looking for a line to read.

Then came Mitt Romney vying for the White against Barack Obama, and Dash, an African American woman, Tweeted her support for the Republican; as is her right. Lotsa folks jumped on the Dump Dash bandwagon but then Fox News got a brilliant idea, why no augment our white old men, white blond women line-up of pundits with an actual woman of color and suddenly Stacey Dash was the newest addition to the news channel which everyone with half a brain knows lies nearly all the time.

And Dash fit right in.

I have no idea what qualifications she has to be a Fox correspondent or to be called an expert on the channel, because she’s really just an unemployed bad actress before she got the call and became the darling of the wingnuts from the network; like when she said this about Republican opposition to same-sex marriage:

“We [Republicans] are for equal marriage. We’re not against that at all. We believe that everyone should have the same right.”

Well, we all know that’s a load of hooey, because look at every single lawsuit filed against states where same-sex marriage is legal and you will find that they were filed and supported by Republicans.

See, Stacey’s dumb. 

Of course, then she tried a different tack when she was asked about that blatant open in-your-face opposition among many Republicans towards the legalization of same-sex marriage:

“That’s just propaganda, it’s not true. You know? That’s just a certain amount of people. You can’t just throw a blanket over everyone because certain people have one opinion.”

A “certain amount of people” that all identify as Republicans. But that isn’t why Stacey Dash, failed actress, and future failed “news’ pundit is our Christmas asshat. No, she took an extra dose of stupid recently when discussing  a recent Census Bureau report showing that 65% of American children are living in a home receiving some sort of government assistance, she whipped out the “slavery” anecdote” and then whipped out her less-than-smart statements:

“This is the Democratic party’s new version of slavery to me, I am a believer in the American dream. But as long as you are told where you have to live, what you have to eat, what you have to wear, where you have to go to school, you will never know the true meaning of expression. And, the power and value of self achievement. You’ll never know what that is.”

Okay, let’s hold up. She doesn’t think children should be told where to live, what to eat and what to wear and where to go to school? Isn’t that why most children have parents because children do not make those decisions for themselves?

Stacey? You’re dumb.

And Stacey? Stop playing the “slavery” card because the only thing that is like slavery is actual slavery.

I think I was wrong; Stacey Dash isn’t stupid, she’s an asshat, and just in time for Christmas.
ForwardProgressives

A Christmas Asshat: Anti-Veteran Republican Tom Coburn

Okay, can we all stop pretending that the GOP cares about Veterans? I mean, sure, they’re all pro-veteran when it’s time to send them off to war, but once those men and women return home, the GOP is all, I’m sorry, and you are?

Don’t believe me? Let’s take a peek at one such Republican Senator, Tom Coburn, of Oklahoma — oh, Oklahoma, that may explain his dumbassery. Anyway, last week, the Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention for Veterans bill passed the House along … wait a minute … it does happen …. It’s a Christmas miracle … an actual bi-partisan vote. And then it went to the Senate, where it was believed the same thing would happen, leaving only the need for President Obama’s signature, but then …

Enter Coburn. He blocked the bill, calling it too expensive, though he has never had a problem sending troops off to war no matter how many billions and billions of dollars that costs., But when these soldiers come home, and need our help and need our support, suddenly Tom Coburn is all about the Benjamins.

But how expensive is the bill? Well, it’s the whopping sum of $22 million; far under any other war expenditures that Tom Coburn is all too happy to slap his signature on.

Coburn, who is apparently called “Dr. No” in the Senate, and just loves the nickname, has missed 238 of 3,133 votes, or 7.6% during his tenure; the median is 2.1% for lifetime records of sitting senators. And in just the last few weeks, he’s missed 60 of 88 votes, putting him in the 99th percentile. He's just about the laziest Senator we have, and for that, once again, we can thank the not-so-good-or-bright people of Oklahoma. Still, if there was to be one vote Coburn missed, why couldn't it have been this one?

See, the suicide rate among veterans is currently about 22 a day. Yes, that’s right; twenty-two men and women who served our country commit suicide every single day; one veteran an hour. And Tom Coburn doesn’t care about them, not one bit because, he says, it’s just too darned expensive to care about human life. The number of veterans who have killed themselves is now more than all military personnel who died in Afghanistan since 2001 or Iraq since 2003 but it’s just too expensive to worry about.

It’s just human life; it’s just men and women who fought for this country and returned home, hoping to be welcomed as the heroes they are, and instead find Tom Coburn saying, “Fuck you.”

I say, “Fuck you, Tom Coburn.” Christmas Asshat.

AddictingInfo

ISBL Asshat of the Week: Senator James Inhofe

First off, though, we cannot forget to also name as asshats those in Congress who will, most likely, name Republican, and climate change and basic science denier, Oklahoman Senator James Inhofe as the next chair of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee.

Inhofe has made a career, and, apparently, some pocket change, out of denying that global warming is real and, well, he knows who started this whole mess: Barbra Streisand.

According to David Corn, writing for Mother Jones, Inhofe first brought up this theory at the United Nations' climate change conference in Copenhagen in 2009:

Look around us, I said, spreading my arms wide. There are thousands of intelligent and well-meaning people in this gigantic conference center: scientists, heads of state, government officials, policy experts. They believe that climate change is a serious and pressing threat and that something must be done soon. Do you believe that they have all been fooled?

Yes, [Inhofe] said, grinning.

That these people who have traveled from all points of the globe to be here are victims of a well-orchestrated hoax?

Yes, [Inhofe] said, still smiling.

That's some hoax, I countered. But who has engineered such a scam?

Hollywood liberals and extreme environmentalists, Inhofe replied.

Really? I asked. Why would they conspire to scare all these smart people into believing a catastrophe was under way, when all was well?

Inhofe didn't skip a beat: To advance their radical environmental agenda.

I pressed on: Who in Hollywood is doing this?

The whole liberal crowd, Inhofe said.

But who?

Barbra Streisand, he responded.

I nearly laughed. All these people had assembled in Copenhagen because of Barbra Streisand. A singer and actor had perpetuated the grandest con of the past 100 years?

That's right, Inhofe said, with a straight face. And others, he added.

So, I guess while making Yentl, Babs decided to also perpetrate this huge, global lie about climate change; in between recording tunes for The Broadway Album, she gathered her minions and sent them out into the world like flying like monkeys spread this massive lie; and on the set of The Prince of Tides Barbra actually melted glaciers, raised temperatures, altered weather patterns.

Or at least she told people that this would happen, according to Inhofe. Maybe if you play Evergreen backwards you can really hear Streisand’s plan to make the entire world believe that climate change is real, but since Inhofe never had that record he didn’t buy into the hoax.

Or … maybe he’s just an asshat who refuses to listen to science.

While Barbra Streisand is active in the climate change movement, it’s not because she wanted to fool billions of people, but because she believes what 97% of scientists believe.

That climate change is real and that James Inhofe is an asshat, an ISBL Asshat of the Week.

via NCRM

David Corn's Mother Jones Article

The GOP: Insane. Lazy. Lying. Anti-LGBT.

Okay, so we know the GOP hates … hates … President Obama. I mean, back in 2009, when the man had barely been in office a hot minute, the Grand Old Turtle of the GOP, Mitch McConnell, popped his head outta his shell and said the Republican’s sole job over the next four years would be to make sure Obama was a one-term President; and we all know how that worked out.

And then this past election cycle they campaigned on anti-Obama sentiment and not on what they had been doing for the country the last four years … uh, because that’s a big fat nothing. They have done nothing and yet because they were able to make it all seem to be Obama’s fault, they took control of Congress; for doing nothing.

Still, they hate him; they hate him so much they’ve lost their mother-effing minds, and are now trying to systematically dismantle the office of the President, or at least the President’s powers. That is, until a rich old white guy gets back into office and then everything will be turned back around.

Until then, listen to this: last week, the GOP goose-stepping asshatted Congressman from Georgia, Paul Broun called on Weeper, er, Speaker of the House John Boehner to not invite Obama to deliver the State of the Union address next year.

Uh, yeah.

But, not to be outdone by his feeble-minded party cohort, Tim Huelskamp, the goose-stepping asshatted Congressman from Kansas, suggested that the budgets for White House operations, including the President’s use of Air Force One, be decreased. Of course, Huelskamp is also a fan of not inviting Obama to give his State of the Union address because, well, George Washington never gave one in person; he had it delivered to Congress.

I know.

Then, not to be outshone in the asshat department, Texas’ newly-elected GOP goose-stepping asshatted governor, Greg Abbott, announced this week that he plans to sue Obama on behalf of his state. That’s job one on Abbott’s first day in office; not jobs, not the budget, not environment ... but suing the president because, well, you know.

Insane, I know, but there’s more; let’s talk about the bigoted, and homophobic and anti-LGBT GOP.

The House Rules Committee of the 113th Congress — nine Republicans and four Democrats — is the group that decides which bills make it to the House floor for a vote, and last week, by a 7-3 vote, the committee killed ENDA.

And those seven committee members, elected by us — well, by some of us — to work for us, and to do the things we want them to do, killed ENDA even though 73% of Americans support the idea that firing someone just because they’re an L, G,B, or T is not right.

Three-quarters of We the People wanted this law passed and seven Republicans said No. And those seven bigots are down there, left to right, top to bottom, meet Reps. Michael Burgess, Pete Sessions, Tom Cole, Virginia Foxx, Richard Nugent, Daniel Webster, and Rob Woodall.

That’s you GOP folks; and that’s your Congress for the next two years. They have put forward no plans for anything other than trying to hurt the president, other than trying to hurt the LGBT community, other than stomping their feet and suggesting another government shutdown over Obama’s immigration plan.

Yes, another $24,000,000,000 shutdown that We the People will pay for because the GOP, and its Teabagger minions, don’t like a Black man in a White House.

How’s that for hate?

Republicans Suggest Obama Be Denied Use of Air Force One

Seven Republicans Kill LGBT Bill Supported By 70% of Americans

Today In Christian Love: 'To End AIDS, Kill The Homos'

A man called Steven Anderson founded the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona as its "Pastor"; he holds no college degree — according to his own website — but he has actually memorized over 140 chapters of the Bible memorized “word-for-word, including approximately half of the New Testament" so you just know he’s a man of God … because he can read and retain Bible passages.

Hell, if that’s all it takes, I might just start me a church … but I digress.

Naturally, as a man who memorizes the Bible, he is quite familiar with Leviticus and because of that, in a recent sermon to his, I don’t want to call it a congregation, I think of it more as a cult, that he has discovered a cure for AIDS and it goes like this:

“Look, we can have an AIDS-free world by Christmas. Here's what the bible says, Leviticus 20:13. 'If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman,' it says, even both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them.

“And that, my friend, is the cure for AIDS. It was right there in the Bible all along — and they’re out spending billions of dollars in research and testing. It’s curable — right there. Because if you executed the homos like God recommends, you wouldn’t have all this AIDS running rampant.”

And as he said this, his cult laughed; at killing people, they laughed.

Of course, Steven Anderson failed to mention that AIDS doesn’t just affect the gay community, it also affects the straight community, black people, white people, rich, poor, but in his narrow mindset it’s a gay thing so, you know, Kill The Gays; Problem Solved.

But it creates a whole new problem: how is that Christian love? How will Steven Anderson kill The Gays without, you know, breaking that nagging commandment about Thou Shall Not Kill? How do you get around that?

Let me make this perfectly queer: this is not Christian teaching, this is Hate Speech. This is suggesting to any number of loons who might be following Steven Anderson in his descent into madness, that they have a right, ordained by God, to go out and kill a gay person because it will stop the spread of AIDS. And so, when that happens, I want Steven Anderson arrested as a co-conspirator.

I said in a post yesterday — see it HERE — that all of these so-called men, and women, of God, who use religion, faith, Jesus Christ, and God, to suggest that The Gays are less than, that we are second class citizens, an abomination, unworthy of life, should be found guilty in every single case of gay bashing in this country because of their Hate Speech masked as Faith.

Add Steven Anderson to that list, and give him a special place of honor, because he isn’t hiding very well; he simply, and plainly, says, Kill The Gays.

How f**king Christ-like.

via NCRM

ISBL Asshat of the Week: GOP Communications Director Elizabeth Lauten

I’ve always been one to leave the children of politicians alone because they never asked for the limelight; they may not even agree with their parent’s policies and politics. And because they’re just kids.

But I did laugh a little whenever the Mama Grizzly Bore™ would take Chelsea Clinton, or Sasha and Malia Obama, to task when her brood is either out knocking people around — with their fists — or getting knocked up or using the word ‘fag’ as a derogatory term against people they don’t like.

Still, the rule is: Leave the kids out of it.

Apparently, though, GOP Congressman Stephen Fincher’s communications director — Yes, the communications director — Elizabeth Lauten was so incensed at Sash and Malia Obama that she simply had to go on Facebook and rant, apparently forgetting she’s a grown-ass woman, and again, a  communications director, and not some schoolyard bully.

Last week, when Obama was partaking in that yearly ritual of Pardoning the Turkey — and I don’t mean Boehner or McConnell — he had the nerve to allow his daughters to attend and stand right behind him and act like, well, let’s have Elizabeth Lauten take it from here:

Dear Sasha and Malia,

I get you’re both in those awful teen years, but you’re a part of the First Family, try showing a little class. At least respect the part you play. Then again your mother and father don’t respect their positions very much, or the nation for that matter, so I’m guessing you’re coming up a little short in the ‘good role model’ department.

Nevertheless, stretch yourself. Rise to the occasion. Act like being in the White House matters to you. Dress like you deserve respect, not a spot at a bar. And certainly don’t make faces during televised public events.

Wow. Way to attack the children of the President; way to communicate.

Of course, when her little diatribe, her Mean Girls rant, went viral, and her boss, and the press and the media and anyone with half a brain who knows that adults shouldn’t be using social media to belittle children, went viral, Lauten returned to the scene of the crime, Facebook, to offer her apologies:

I reacted to an article and quickly judged the two young ladies in a way that I would never have wanted to be judged myself as a teenager.

After many hours of prayer, talking to my parents and re-reading my words online, I can see more clearly how hurtful my words were.

Please know that these judgmental feelings truly have no place in my heart.

Furthermore, I'd like to apologize to all of those who I have hurt and offended with my words, and pledge to learn and grow (and I assure you I have) from this experience.

Wait. What? You call yourself an adult and then you behave like a child, and you needed your parent’s help? Grow the f**k up, lady. I wonder how that conversation went ...

Elizabeth Lauten: Oh Mommy! oh Daddy! I saw Sasha and Malia at a White House event and dint like how they were dressed and how they folded their arms so i went on Facebook and called the Obama's lousy parents and told the girls to show some class. What should I do?

Mommy and Daddy [in unison]: Oh Elizabeth. Grow the f**k up.

And so, not sure her parents were right, Elizabeth began to pray on the subject; I wonder how that conversation went:

Elizabeth Lauten: Dear God. I saw Sasha and Malia at a White House event and dint like how they were dressed and how they folded their arms so i went on Facebook and called the Obvama's lousy parents and told the girls to show some class. What should I do?

God: Oh Elizabeth. Grow the f**k up.

Seriously, girl, take some responsibility. You are not some misunderstood teenager; some loudmouthed girl at the back of the class. You are, and again I say this with both shock and awe, a communications director who has no known abilities to actually communicate.

Please follow your pledge and ‘grow’ from this experience. Learn that, as an adult, you don’t bully children; something most of us already know, and most of us in positions of importance, like communications director, or not, already know.

The good news is that Elizabeth Lauten won’t be communicating anymore; she resigned this morning because, you know, belittling children is very professional … or kind … or right.

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Today In Christian Love: Women Who Have Sex Before Marriage Are 'Filthy Dishrags'

At Lancaster Baptist Church in California, one of those mega-churches — because a sign that you truly love God is to attend services with 5,000 devotees — Pastor Paul Chappell decided to tackle the issue of premarital sex, asking:

"One wonders, whatever happened to purity?"

Interesting topic, I thought, though clearly a topic more suited to America circa 1957 than America in 2014, but, you know, whatever. But then the not-so-good pastor went a step further, and wondered about the women who engage in premarital sex, calling the “filthy dishrags.”

"Whatever happened to that? Whatever happened to the days when girls said, 'I'm not going to be touched by every guy? I'm not going to walk down the aisle like a filthy dishrag on my wedding day.' Whatever happened to that day?"

I kina wondered what he thought about men who engaged in premarital sex. I imagine, Chappell thinks they’re real men, high fiving one another because they just boned their girlfriend or something. But Chappell doesn’t seem to realize that the women he calls filthy dishrags are having sex with men, so why no name-calling for the masculine gender?

He says his rant, and name-calling, was spurred on by criticism of his church's purity pledge:

“There is a standard in this church that the dresses are going to come down to the knee when a lady stands up here. They call me old-fashioned ... I’ve counseled too many men to know that if we don’t have everything covered just right they’re not going to be thinking about wonderful grace and Jesus.”

And some men in the crowd actually shouted "amen" to that, though I wonder how many filthy dishrags those men had gotten into during their lives. Before their wedding day; heck, maybe some of these men even married the filthy dishrag though why one would ever buy the cow … yada yada yada.

Chappell also ranted about the way women dress, especially at wedding and funerals:

“I get so sick and tired of going to weddings and, it’s the bride’s day, and here’s some Jezebel with hardly any clothes on strutting around the wedding, Look – you come to a wedding around here, show some respect to the bride. You go to a funeral ... women do the exact same thing. You come to the house of God, it ought not to be a flesh show!”

But Pastor, how are the men in your congregation ever gonna find that good woman if they don’t go through a Baker’s Dozen or so of those half-dressed filthy dishrags shaking their groove thangs on the dance floor at a wedding; or, I would imagine, bending over provocatively at the buffet after the funeral.

Pastor Chappell needs to wake up and quit shaming women for premarital sex because, as I said, unless these women are having battery-operated sex, or having girl-on-girl sex, then there are an awful  lot of men out there dirtying up the dishrags without fear of reprisal from Chappell's pulpit.

via NCRM

Well, Isn't That Convenient?

For over two years we’ve listened to the GOP squawk about Benghazi like a gaggle of parrots demanding a cracker, and now this? For two years the GOP has used Benghazi as a wedge to divide this country, to run their campaigns on, to denigrate the President and the Secretary of State, and now this? For two years, every time something good happened in this country — like better jobs numbers, lower unemployment, a rising stock market, a healthy economy — the GOP began shrieking Benghazi! Benghazi! Benghazi! and now this?

The Republicans have spent untold amounts of money investigating Benghazi, and then investigating the investigation into Benghazi, and then denying the outcome of each and every investigation when it didn’t jibe with their viewpoint that it’s all some conspiracy being manipulated by the illegal immigrant in the White House, and now this?

Now that the Midterm Elections are over, the House Intelligence Committee — and I won’t make a joke about that — has wrapped up its Benghazi investigation and released their shocking report just moments before the GOP scurried home for their Thanksgiving Day break. And what does it show?

Did it show that the White House sat on intelligence that could have prevented the attack, something the GOP has muttered all along? No, it did not. Did it show that Hillary Clinton's State Department bungled the response to the initial protests in Cairo, which resulted in the attack and the deaths? No, it did not. Did it show, as the GOP has been saying it would for over twenty-four months, that the CIA bungled the military response to the attacks? No, it did not.

It shows the White House and the State Department and the CIA did absolutely nothing wrong, something we have known all along. But the GOP kept on until the midterm elections were safely past and until after Obama’s immigration speech so it would be basically ignored. And now, suddenly, after two years of everyone in the GOP calling the President and the Secretary of State and the CIA a bunch of liars, we’ve learned that the GOP was … wait for it … wrong. Again.

It's not that the committee found nothing to criticize because they did; the State Department facility in Benghazi had inadequate security, and some of the early intelligence after the attacks was inaccurate, and maybe the CIA should have given more weight to eyewitnesses on the ground. But those criticisms were fully acknowledged by the first investigations.

The GOP was wrong, and they basically knew it after the first investigation but they kept at it like a dog with a bone.  There is no scandal — except for the one every Thursday night at (PM, EST — and there never was, but one Republican, who I tend to see of as more like a rabid closeted homosexual dog with a bone, will not accept the findings of his own party, or of any investigation into Benghazi because he says he knows better.

South Carolina’s own Good Old Boy, Lindsey “I am not a Homosexual” Graham has refused … refused I say, refused … to accept that the new House Benghazi report that has cleared both Obama and Hillary Clinton of any wrongdoing in its response to the Benghazi attack.

"I think the report is full of crap."

Graham foot-stomped and head-snapped all over TV this past weekend, insisting that members of the Obama administration altered the Benghazi talking points after the attack.

"I'm saying that anybody who has followed Benghazi at all knows that the CIA deputy director did not come forward to tell Congress what role he played in changing the talking points and the only way we knew he was involved is when he told a representative at the White House, I'm going to do a hard review of this, a hard rewrite."

When CNN host Gloria Borger told Graham, again, that the House report concludes that the administration received bad information at first and did not lie, he hissed:

"That's a bunch of garbage. That's a complete bunch of garbage."

Hell hath no fury like Miss Lindsey scorned, especially when she was hoping to use Benghazi as a weapon if she decides to run against Hillary Clinton for the presidency in 2016.

Someone get the smelling salts.

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