A Golden Stream ... of Consciousness

I love Amy Poehler and Tina Fey … they keep it funny, and smart, and snarky … and sadly this is their last year unless the GGs cough up a boatload of cash for them to come back … I’ve started a GoFundMe page to add my own far-more-than-two-cents … Jennifer Aniston coming up the stairs to meet Benedict Cumberbatch shows almost all of the fine china as she climbs the stairs to present ... 

... Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture … to JK Simmons from Whiplash … he’s been around for years and has been in everything, but this is his first GG nom and win … pretty cool … Not cool are the next presenters, Fifty Shades of Grey co-stars, Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, who prove on the stage that they have absolutely no chemistry whatsoever … to present ... 

... Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries, or TV Movie to … Joanne Froggatt … Missus Bates wins a Globe! … Froggatt gives a lovely speech about playing a rape victim, and giving voice to those women who might have otherwise stayed silent … plus … Missus Bates won a Globe! … I’m a Downton queen, dontcha know …

MY FAVORITE JOKES OF THE NIGHT BREAK: … George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her husband is getting a Lifetime Achievement award …

Jennifer Lopez, wearing a blanket presents with the not-closeted-not-gay Jeremy Renner … Best Series, Mini-series or TV Movie … to Fargo … I’ve tried to watch it but it’s like watching paint dry … painted in a color you hate … and on something you didn’t want to paint … JLo, or as Carlos calls her, Jell-O, and Renner present another award, but first they hand of the Jeremy Renner is a Pig Award to … Jeremy Renner for using his time in front of millions to talk about JLo’s “globes” … Lovely way to speak to a woman you don’t know on national TV and prove to us all you’re a dick … 

... Best Actor in a Series, Mini-series or TV Movie … Billy Bob Thornton, Fargo, who gave a speech about how he wasn’t going to talk … or something … Siddown Billy, you haven’t been relevant since La Jolie … Naomi Watts in high-wattage yellow presents Birdman

MY FAVORITE JOKES OF THE NIGHT BREAK: … Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby …

… and then Tina and Amy introduce a North Korean General, and journalist, Cho Yung Ja — AKA Margaret Cho — for an unfunny bit about North Korea that wasted both Meryl Streep and Michael Keaton … To bring back a little class, Hollywood Foreign Press Association president, Theo Kingma, gives a speech about films and freedom of speech … North Korea and Je suis Charlie  … Colin Firth steps out to introduce The Imitation Game and takes a moment to honor Alan Turing, who was criminalized for being gay and yet marginalized for being a hero … Kerry Washington and Bryan Cranston are up to present ... 

… Best Actress in a TV Series … Jane The Virgin’s Gina Rodriguez, who gives a lovely speech about being taught by her parents to dream big … Look out for Gina, she’s looking like the next big thing … Kerry and Bryan also present Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical … Amazon’s Transparent, whose creator dedicates the award to trans people like Leelah Alcorn, who take their own lives because they don’t feel accepted …

MY FAVORITE JOKES OF THE NIGHT BREAK: … North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror … not the worst review the movie got …

Melissa McCarthy comes out looking …. And I said it earlier … very cool and cute … to present St. Vincent … followed by Sienna Miller and Vince Vaughan … who has a bigger forehead than Tyra Banks … never thought that possible … Best Original Score in a Movie … The Theory of Everything’s Jóhann Jóhannsson … then Prince strolls out in one of Judy’s old stage costumes, and a bad wig, to the shrieks of the audience who have suddenly become fangirls, to present ... 

... Best Original Song ... “Glory” from Selma … Common accepts with John Legend and gives a most eloquent speech: "I am the hopeful black woman who was denied her right to vote. I am the caring white supporter killed on the frontlines of freedom. I am the unarmed black kid who maybe needed a hand, but instead was given a bullet. I am the two police officers murdered in the line of duty. 'Selma' has awakened my humanity." … didn’t hurt that he was hot … 

... but the moment was almost stolen when the camera lingered on Oprah, who set down the chicken long enough to bite her lip, pretend to cry and check to see if the cameraman got her biting her lip and pretending to cry …

MY FAVORITE JOKES OF THE NIGHT BREAK: … Boyhood proves there are still great roles for women over forty, provided you get hired for the role when you’re under forty…

… Katie Holmes and Seth Meyers are next and I keep wondering what is wrong with Katie’s face … everything is lopsided and the makeup is so heavy that she just looks pissed off … even when joking about how the Globes’ losers get a coupon for a Free Breakfast at the Beverly Hilton …

... Best Supporting Actor, TV Series, Mini-series or Movie … Matt Bomer … Katie further inspires my ire when she calls him Matt Bommer … but My-Husband-In-My-Head kisses some guy … he says he’s his husband … whatever … and gives a lovely speech where he thanks his husband … though he calls me by a different name … go figure and three children … plus, he’s so beautiful why doing it all … Clive Own appears to present The Theory of Everything … he’s sweating like the proverbial pig and that’s when I realize everyone on the crowd is glistening … I learned the next day that the AC was in and out … Movie star sweat still smells like poor people sweat so that must have been one musky room …

MY FAVORITE JOKES OF THE NIGHT BREAK: … Who would you rather … Colin Farrell or Colin Firth … Farrell all day and Firth for a polite amount of time … Ed Norton or Mark Ruffalo … I’d go with mark because everyone knows I like it Ruffalo … Chris Pine or … Chris Pine! …

… and then we get Ricky Gervais … still holding a drink like he always does … still telling jokes about the over-privileged people of Hollywood like he always does … don’t ask him to host, HFPA, please ...

… Best Actress in a  Movie Comedy … Amy Adams, who is so stunned she won that she gives a speech that seems to imply she’s hired a surrogate to carry twins for her which is so not true … I’m guessing Amy was wishing she could have a do-over as soon as she left the stage … Salma Hayek and Tiny Man Kevin Hart … Hart is the King of Misogyny because he asks the audience to applaud because Salma looks good … and then he hijacks the entire segment with his, what passes for, comedy … He needs to sit down, in a booster seat preferably … Best Animated Feature … How To Train Your Dragon 2 … Kate Hudson and her Boobs … and, yes, her rockin’ body, present Into The Woods … then we have Jared Leto in an awful suit, an awful beard, a cool braid, and a moment to show support for Freedom of Speech … Je Suis Charlie ... 

… Best supporting Actress in a Movie … Patricia Arquette who actually pulled out a sheet of binder paper to read from … Oy …

MY FAVORITE JOKES OF THE NIGHT BREAK:  … The Theory of Everything … crippling nerve disease and complicated math …

… Tina and Amy and Cho Yung Ja return to the stage and they are still not funny … Luckily Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader come out to present ... 

... Best Screenplay … and crack one another, and the audience , up, with their take on movie lines … the award, though, went to Birdman scribes Alejandro González Iñárritu, Nicolás Giacobone and Alexander Dinelaris … I was taken by Giacobone and his fabulous hair though … Jack Black steps out to introduce Boyhood and beg for a job from Boyhood director … and cutie patootie … Richard Linklater … Lily Tomlin … just married on NYE … and Jane Fonda present ... 

... Best Actor in TV Series, Comedy or Musical … to Jeffrey Tambor of Transparent … followed by Lupita Nyong’o and Colin Farrell … rockin’ the porn ‘stache and lookin’ hot … him, not her … Best Foreign Language Film  … Leviathan … and then Kate Beckinsale and Adrien Brody … who is odd looking and oddly hot to me ...

… Best Actress in a Series, Mini-series or TV Movie … Maggie Gyllenhaal … The Honorable Woman … would have been more honorable to let her hot brother accept the ward … just sayin’ … Paul Rudd … cute and hot ,,, and Adam Levine … not and not … Best TV Drama … The Affair … which I liked once I got into it and past some 0 f the moroseness of it all … Catherine Zeta Jones comes out with a bad case of the ‘Bo to resent Pride … but I keep wondering what happened to her face … no pride at all …

MY FAVORITE JOKES OF THE NIGHT BREAK: … In Foxcatcher, Steve Carell plays a paranoid, murderous billionaire … the role was a stretch for Carell, who, in real life, is a paranoid murderous millionaire …

… followed by Hollywood pariah Katherine Heigl and David Duchovny … she makes a lame joke about these five male characters being on a dating site and which one she would date … the joke goes flatter than her career ... one State of Affairs is canceled ...

... Best Actor TV Series Drama … Kevin Spacey for House of Cards who co-opts Cher’s ‘I’m not someone but I’m on my way’ Oscar speech with his riff about wanting to do ‘better’ … I guess by 'better' he meant bring an actual date, and a female who isn't his mother, to an wards show ... just sayin' ... Julianna Margulies and Don Cheadle step out to present the ... 

... Cecille B. de Mille Lifetime Achievement Award winner, Mr. Amal Alamuddin Clooney, and riff of which one if his better friend … She: Have you ever toured a disaster area with him? … He: Yes, I visited the set of ‘Monuments Men.’ … Ouch … Clooney gives a nice speech about movies and how no one is a loser because by being actors they’ve already grabbed the Brass Ring, but saves the best part for saying to his wife, It’s a humbling thing to find someone to love … Owen Wilson presents The Grand Budapest Hotel …

MY FAVORITE JOKES OF THE NIGHT BREAK: … In Into The Woods, Meryl Streep plays a witch who sends the townspeople on a magical quest to help her win another Golden Globe …

… Harrison Ford … Carlos was freaked out that he looked so old and not at all like he did when he played Han Solo nearly forty years ago ...

… Best Director Movie … Richard Linklater … and now I have a crush on that totes adorbs man … plus he just seemed so down-to-earth and humble ... though I might have to get him to work on his hair a bit ... Anna Faris and Chris Pratt do a comedy bit about being a mixed couple … She’s CBS … He’s NBC … they’ll raise their kids HBO … cute ...

… Best Actress TV Series Drama … Ruth Wilson The Affair … she really was quite brilliant in that show ... plus she scores major bonus points for talking about the beauty of Dominic West’s ass … I've seen it, though not as up close and personal as she, and I concur … Amy Adams is back and I’m hoping she’s not going to give us a newly edited version of her speech …

... Best Actor Motion Picture Comedy … Michael Keaton … he gave a great speech about where he's from and how he made it to Hollywood, but then he choked up talking about his best friend ... his son … I was getting all cynical about it ... I hate to see people sob when they win something ... until the cameras lingered on said son ... 

... Sean ... Hot Hot Hot … Oprah waddles out to present Selma and thankfully kept her yammering ... and her phony tears ... short …  because next up was Channing Tatum … a prime piece of beefcake .. to present Foxcatcher … ... Sidenote: Channing's ass makes an appearance in the film ... then Robert Downey Jr … looking like he just doesn’t care to be there and I'm getting over that from him ... presents ... 

... Best Motion Picture Comedy … The Grand Budapest Hotel … Wes Anderson accepts looking like a cute nerd and proceeds to thank the HFPA by mentioning them all by their first names …

MY FAVORITE JOKES OF THE NIGHT BREAK:  … Selma. In the 1960s, all over America, people came together with one common goal … to form Sly and the Family Stone …

… Matthew McConaughey is up and we are thankfully short on time so he won’t get to ramble … though he does speak in a crazy Southern drawl ...

… Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama … Julianne Moore for Still Alice … she finally gets her Globe and thanks her hot husband Bart Freundlich … she's like Meryl Streep ... she always gets nominated but, unlike Streep, she never seems to win ... until now ... Paltrow is up next … with some new chipmunk cheeks but an old Forever 21 bubblegum gown ...

… Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama … Eddie Redmayne … so adorable … so British … I want one .. a Redmayne not a Globe … and finally Meryl; steps out to present Best Picture to Boyhood and we get another glimpse of Linklater and then it’s over … a hair over three hours … not a bad show … a lot of first time awards given and a lot of people who always win going home empty … I like … sad that Fey and Poehler are out … unless we raise those coins, y’all … and here’s hoping the HFPA doesn’t go Gervais again … what did YOU think?

Bob's Golden Globe's Fashion Round-Up! YeeHaw!

MY BEST

Julianne Moore; she takes risks with fashion, and sometimes bombs. Recently she wore a bright yellow, turtle-necked, long-sleeved ball gown made of neoprene … I know. But this silver sequined, ombré number, trimmed in feathers was avant-garde and haute couture and fabulous!

THE BEST

Clockwise from top left

Emma Stone; I love her sense of humor, and that she knows the Globes aren’t some stuffy Oscars ceremony, so why not play it up with a fun jumpsuit and giant bow? Loved it.

Jessica Chastain; she usually goes a bit more demure, but really rocked a shiny copper plunging neckline. And she knows how to do that old Hollywood glamour hair. Take note Alison Williams.

Diane Kruger was chic and cool and modern, like a Grace Kelly for the new millennia.

Lupita Nyong’o usually rocks the carpet and this is no exception; flirty, fun, flowers, shows she was there to have a good time.

VERY GOOD

Clockwise from top left

Emily Blunt looked like a Grecian Goddess with a simple cut-out. It’s very good, but not great.

Gina Rodriguez; I don’t usually like those dresses with the see-thru pieces at the bottom, but this one moved well and seemed fun and wasn’t so daring. Plus, Gina Rodriguez won a Globe and just might be the new It Girl in Hollywood.

Heidi Klum looks a little too tan and a little too thin, but after some misfires on the red carpet — including that fringe get-up from the PR she wore — she returns in a stunning red number. Slinky and sexy.

Viola Davis would have scored higher in a different color because she really looks great in all colors, just not this red. I do like the cut and the embellishment and it is Viola so, yeah, it’s Very Good.

Lorde. Good lord! Or Good.Lorde. It was young and fun and fresh and new. She’s no actress up for an award, but a pop star up for an award so she took the pop star cue and worked it.

Kate Beckinsale. She’s very good; she’s always very good. I’d like to see her take more of a risk and I’d like to see her stop wearing that hairdo at every awards show. Still … stunning.

GOOD

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Helen Mirren. Even for a woman her age, Helen knows what to cover up and what to show off. And the glitter on the décolletage is perfect.

Jessica Lange. Okay, maybe some folks didn’t like this but, to me, Jessica Lange can do no wrong; no nowhere, not no how!

Taylor Schilling. I usually don’t like ball gowns, and I usually don’t like red, but she kept everything but the dress simple so she looks very chic. Red is the new black for the carpet.

Melissa McCarthy. Say what you will — I heard Schoolmarm — but I like that Melissa McCarthy takes a chance and I think this is fun and cute.

Ruth Wilson. Okay, the fabric is plain, like kitchen curtains, but Ruth gets a Good because of the color — one of the few non-black, non-white, non-red numbers on the carpet — and because she was fabulous in The Affair and deserved to win.

Lena Dunham. Lena generally gets a WTF from me because she looks like a piece of cotton candy, or a giant yellow shuttlecock. But this is cool and simple and structured and not over the top. Good.

M’KAY

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Amy Adams. We get it Amy, you’re an actress! But try a little something different. This is perfectly fine but do you really wanna look just fine?

Christine Baranski has a rockin’ bod, and I love the color and the design, but the fabric is just kinda sad. It lacks pizzazz!

Kerry Washington loves her color-blocking but this is a bit too stiff and too long or too short and the fabric looks like the fabric some people use on cat beds so it they pee the urine won’t be absorbed. Seriously, that was my first thought.

Felicity Jones has the same problem as Baranski. It’ a fabulous dress — from the back you could see the hundreds of buttons — but the color and the fabric choice are kind of drab.

MEH

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Anna Faris. Okay, so she brought her newly hot husband Chris Pratt so maybe that’s why she chose this subdued sequin number that looks more negligee than night out.

Felicity Huffman. She looks fabulous … if this was a Golden Globes luncheon. It’s not.

Jennifer Aniston. Gosh she wants an award so bad that she gave no thought to the dress, with its too high slit and weird cummerbund looking thing. Plus a little more hair might have been nice, but I get it, she’s trying to show she’s a serious actress.

Julia Louis-Dreyfuss always plays safe. Sleek dress, sleek hair. It’s enough.

Sienna Miller. Now, as a gay man, I still like some boobs, and had Sienna had boobs, this might have been a better choice; as it is, it looks like a very expensive apron.

Reese Witherspoon. The movie for which she was nominated was wild. This dress is Yawn.

Maggie Gyllenhaal. Okay, you know it’s the Globes so you pick and flesh-tone strapless number. And you know you’ll be suiting for a long time so you wear a dress that wrinkles. Stop.

Katie Holmes. The dress is pretty enough, but it’s that cheap pony tail extension that bothered me and the fact that when she appeared to present, everything about her, mouth, eyes, and head, tilt when she talks.

BAD

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Amanda Peet. So, your original dress was ruined so you bedazzled a bed sheet? Seriously?

Anna Kendrick. This dress has the measles. Plus, Anna Kendrick never looks like an actress or whatever; every time I see her I think she works at my grocery store.

Salma Hayek. The dress is nice. The little matching handbag is not. And that thing in her hair? She’s trying too hard to be Cute Bride and it doesn’t work.

Keira Knightley. This is haute couture Chanel, and I’m guessing the good people at Chanel, knowing Knightley was pregnant thought it might be fun to use diapers as trim because that’s what it looks like. Plus, the thing around her neck looks like a bib she’d wear while getting her make-up done to keep it off the dress. I won’ say a word about the butterfly sequins or that giant-assed butterfly on her wrist.

THE WORST

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Camilla Alves is a model and you’d think she’d know better than to show up wearing a tablecloth.

Christy Teigen is a model and you’d think she’d know better than to show up wearing a doily tablecloth.

Jennifer Lopez wishes she was a model and you’d think she’d know better than to show up wearing a duvet cover. But I’ll give her props: not many women could wear that much fabric and still give that much hint-o-vagina and that much boobage.

Julianna Margulies; between the severe, almost Bride of Frankenstein hair, and the stiff, too short dress, well, she ruined it. Plus, take a good look at the dress; see the horizontal seam? It looks like they added fabric to make it longer. Should’a left it short and should’a worn something else.

Rosamund Pike. Does anyone else see the giant V pointing towards her, um, monologue? Plus, girl just had a baby and this is way too much skin; it’s just wrong.

Patricia Arquette always looks like she’s going to Funeral Prom; and the hair? It looks like the way women might wear their hair when they’re putting on make-up before, you know, they actually do their hair.

Maura Tierney is a favorite actress of mine but this is so Rose from The Golden Girls. Even the sheer business at the top can’t make it look young.

Zosia Mamet. It’s sad. Sad shape. Sad color. Sad proportion. Sad girl.

WTF

Clockwise from top left

Catherine Zeta Jones needs to lay off the Botox. The only thing stiffer than Julianna Margulies’ dress was CZJ’s forehead. Plus, why is a women her age — I believe she’s 68 — still wearing ball gowns?

Amal Clooney. I can’t help it; I get Cruella De Vil from this look. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t see a single Dalmatian last night. Just sayin’.

Kate Hudson. We know she has a hot body because that’s all anyone ever says about her. Not that she’s a great actress, not that she’s a great beauty, just that she has a rockin’ bod. So why do all that with the plunge and the cutouts and the tight fit? It’s too much.

Allison Williams. I can’t with this. It looks like a Bloody Coffee Filter and that Hollywood Glamour hairdo and the eye make-up make her look like a really bad drag queen. Or Kristen Stewart.

Kate Mara wears a pretty, nice, dress, but fugs it up with a beige man’s belt. There is no explanation.

Claire Danes. Julianna Moore also wore feathers last night but at least she knew better than to wear a dress made entirely of feathers in a pattern and bad fit that make it looks like a dusty cover-up you found in Grandma’s attic.

THE HOTTEST MAN

Matt Bomer — My Husband In My Head — was hot in blue. I have no words, only the idea that I will stare at this picture for a very long time. plus, when he won and thanked his husband and htree children ... swoon!

THE REST OF THE MEN

Row by row

Common is hot, and I love the black-on-black suit. Simple and not a tuxedo. Very cool. Bonus points for a beautiful acceptance speech.

Alan Cumming. He’s kind of the male Helena Bonham Carter. He always wears something a little different and I always like it because he completely owns it.

David Oyelowo is just so cute and so sparkly. It’s nice to see a man rock some glitter.

Don Cheadle in an old school, Ocean’s Eleven suit. Totally cool.

Jake Gyllenhaal. What’s there left to say. Even with a beard — and I don’t mean Maggie — he’s hot.

Jamie Dornan is soon to be seen in the biggest flop of the year — besides The Interview — but still looks hot in traditional tuxedo.

George Clooney recycled the tuxedo from his wedding, so he’s green and cool.

Adrian Grenier looks like a mobster, but a hipster mobster.

William H. Macy looks like a mobster but like a hipster mobster’s father.

Ethan Hawke in a fray tuxedo that just looks like it faded from being washed one too many times.

Jared Leto is so hot — without the beard though — but this is just a hot mess. I’m getting a Pee Wee Herman clown vibe and that’s never good.

Kevin Hart is the shortest man in Hollywood — even shorter than Tom Cruise — but does he need to wear a tuxedo that looks like a Garanimals tuxedo? The short answer — see what I did there — is No.

An Emmy Stream of Consciousness

Ah, the 66th Annual Emmy Awards … more pats on the back from the 1% to the 1% … I kid … kind of because I am an Awards Show Whore™ … 

Seth Meyers is our host and his opening bit was funny … jokes about holding the even on Mondays to avoid competition with the VMAs … Video Music Awards from a channel that no longer shows music videos … jokes about holding the event in August to avoid completion with football because … it maintains the actor’s tradition of running away from jocks … but the best of all was calling television the “booty call of entertainment” because, yeah, that’s what it is … it doesn’t care what you watch, when you watch, what you do while you watch … just watch … Seth introduces Beyoncé Amy Poehler to announces the BEST ONSCREEN ORGASM IN A CIVIL WAR REENACTMENT OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY … Ty Burrell … Modern Family … cute, slightly funny speech, but it seems to set the mood for an evening of the same old, same old … Zooey Deschanel presents with Alison Williams and has to fight to reach the microphone because of William’s hoop-skirted mess OUTSTANDING WRITING IN A COMEDY SERIES … Louie CK for Louie CK accepted by Louie CK … OK … I like Louie but is he the funniest writer on TV every year?

Jimmy Kimmel presents OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY and riffs on why Matthew McConaughey is there … All right all right all right already! … the award goes to Allison Janney … Mom … watched it twice … never more … I don’t find it terribly funny … OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR AND ACTRESS IN A COMEDY … Jimmy Fallon for SNL and Uzo Aduba for Orange is the New Black … Uzo helps Hayden Panitierre present OUTSTANDING DIRECTING IN A COMEDY SERIES … Gail Mancuso … Modern Family … same old … she stared at McConaughey so as not to cry … I would’a glued my eyes to Jon Hamm … or even Julianna Margulies’ husband … Matt Bomer … even Ricky Gervais would have been better than McConaughey who looks like a cartoon version of Matthew McConaughey … the Billy Eichner Billy On The Street bit could’a been cut … parts were funny but … why? … Bryan Cranston and Julia Louis-Dreyfus present ...  

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES … but first she says to Cranston … “Hold on Clark Gable” … and mentions how he looks like the dentist from a Seinfeld episode … he was the dentist and he reminds her that he kissed her … she shrugs it off… the award goes to … same old … Jim Parsons The Big Bang Theory ... meh … it's a funny show and he's funny in it ... but, again, every year? ... I think not ... Jimmy Fallon presents

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES … Julia Louis-Dreyfus Veep … Cranston leaps from his seat and plants a looooong wet one on her … now she remembers him from Seinfeld … John Mulaney presents with Mindy Kalling … he’s adorkable … OUTSTANDING REALITY SERIES … The Amazing  Race … again! … In a weird move, just before a commercial break, an announcer begins speaking about Julia Roberts being nominated for an Emmy for The Normal Heart  and how she’s there in the audience … it’s like they’re setting you up for her win … Seth returns and takes questions from the audience … Melissa McCarthy is the most high-larious woman … and the Emmy Bathroom Key joke was funny though ending with Fred Armisen was not … OUTSTANDING MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Sherlock: His Last Vow … not The Normal Heart? … 

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … even after the Julia Roberts plug the award goes to Kathy Bates American Horror Story: Coven … loved her but still kind of a shock even to Bates … Stephen Colbert comes out with his invisible friend … yes, it was as funny as it sounds … sarcasm font … OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Matt Bomer … Matt Bomer … Matt Bomer … WTF? Martin Freeman for Sherlock … my Husband-In-My-Head was robbed … OUTSTANDING DIRECTING MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Colin Bucksey Fargo … not Ryan Murphy The Normal Heart … this isn’t good … I saw Fargo and it was a pale, paler than ice and snow version of the original … Seth and Beyoncé Amy Poehler return to introduce Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson … I thought they would do a take on their “Oh Really” SNL segment … it was a bunch … too many … lame jokes about pot and sex and boners … yeah, I know … McConaughey and Harrelson ... OUTSTANDING ACTOR MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Benedict Cumberbatch … Sherlock … I like him in that but, seriously, not Mark Ruffalo? … Live Schreiber and Kerry Washington … damn he’s hot … and manly … hot manly … 

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Jessica Lange … American Horror Story: Coven … it’s about time … she’s brilliant in that show … every year … no matter what she plays … I.Love.Her. … Live helps her to the stage … hot manly … chivalrous … yum … Weird Al sings a montage of theme songs from today's television shows … it's a colossal waste of time … colossal … we could'a shaved off another five minutes and I could'a been in bed by 11PM ... OUTSTANDING MINISERIES … Fargo …I am not amused ... it's good …  not great ... 

OUTSTANDING TV MOVIE … The Normal Heart … Larry Kramer comes up onstage … hero … icon … rebel ... bravo … Ricky Gervais presents OUTSTANDING WRITING IN A VARIETY SPECIAL … first he riffs on losing to Jim Parsons … high-larious … did Parsons win because he’s “local” … it could have sounded crass, but it was totally Gervais and totally funny … Sarah Silverman wins for Sarah Silverman: We Are Miracles …or are we molecules hurtling through space? … Key and Peele … Key is hot … do a riff on the boring accountant introductions because … boring accountant introductions … Chris Hardwick … comedian … kinda cute … riffs on Internet trolls and there their they’re their problem with grammar … OUTSTANDING VARIETY SPECIAL … the 67TH Annual Tony Awards … an Emmy for Tony … m’kay … Gwen Stefani … looking better tonight than she did at the VMAs and Adam Levine … OUTSTANDING VARIETY/MUSIC/COMEDY SERIES … The Colbert Report … Gwen call it The Coal Bore … lovely … Fallon jumps onstage thinking he won because Stefani mispronounced it … not funny Jimmy … you aren’t the host … stay seated please … Sofia Vergara introduces the President of Television… or something … and it turns into glorifying Sofia Vergara because of her tits’n’ass … haven’t we grown beyond this? … but she shares some of the blame for letting them do that to her … seriously stupid … OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR DRAMA … Aaron Paul … Breaking Bad … he seemed kinda jittery, y’know … In Memoriam … Sara Bareilles sings mile” … breathtaking … Billy Crystal comes out to speak of Robin Williams … beautiful … “Robin Williams. What a concept.” … 

OUTSTANDING DIRECTOR DRAMA … Cary Joji Fukunaga … True Detective … he’d be hot if he lost the braids … but that’s just me … OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS DRAMA … Anna Gunn … Breaking Bad … Katherine Heigl … so out of place at an acting awards show … OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR AND ACTRESS DRAMA … Joe Morton … Scandal … Alison  Janney … Masters of Sex … Morton presents OUTSTANDING WRITING DRAMA … Moira Walley-Beclkett … Breaking Bad … Viola Davis … love her … 

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS DRAMA … Julianna Margulies … The Good Wife … the best thing about seeing her win ... again ... is getting g to see her very adorable husband Keith Lieberthal … again ... yum … OUTSTANDING ACTOR DRAMA … Bryan Cranston … Breaking Bad … not a surprise at all … it seemed to have been in all the papers before the show ever aired ... still, a great speech about growing up as Sneaky Pete and learning to follow your dreams ... 

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES … Modern Family … also not a surprise, though now it ties Frasier for most best Comedy Emmy wins in a row … still, Steve Levitan always gives great speech … and he’s cute, too … talks about taking his daughter to work one day and how nothing really got done … at home she thanks him for taking her then says to her mom, "It's a wonder we have a roof over our heads” … I like MF but I wish some of these shows would retire themselves from the nominations because some Emmy voters ... like Republicans ... always vote the same way every year ... 

OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES … Breaking Bad … another non-surprise … sure, some people were sure it would be True Detective but again ... same voters ... same votes ... at least next year it won't even be nominated so maybe someone new can take home a statue?

MY TAKE … it finished right at 3 hours which has got to be some kind of record … no big surprises though … some upsets  ... Matt Bomer was brilliant in The Normal Heart … love that Jessica Lange won … it was a funny show … but Seth Meyers was outshone by both Jimmy Kimmel and Ricky Gervais … I know they could go off and riff on people because they weren't hosting but they really brought the funny ... perhaps next year … ?

Some Thoughts On Tony

Loyal ISBL readers know that I am a proud Awards Show Whore®. I watch them all, from Emmy to Tony to Oscar and Grammy; hell, I even watch the Daytime Emmys. If the television industry wants me to watch, put the word "awards" the title and I'll be glued to my set.

The Scandal Awards. 

The Modern Family Awards. 

The Project Runway: Awards.

The FoxNews Awards....okay, so it doesn't work all the time. Still, I'll be there.

And last night was the gayest awards show of all, The Tony Awards; and I don’t call it gay just because it’s Broadway, but because it’s one of the few, maybe the only, awards show where the winners who just happen to be gay actually kiss their partners/spouses/lovers on the way up to the stage and then thank them in a lovely speech.

So, let’s rip …. with random thoughts ...

Hugh Jackman and his Huge Ackman, Seriously, is there anything this man cannot do? His hopping opening had me tired before he even got into the building and then he sings and dances and taps and, yeah, raps, and tells jokes, and, well, is just beautiful to look at, though I could do without the beard. No shade on the gay rumors, I meant the actual facial hair. I like my Hugh clean shaven.

Patti LaBelle and Gladys Knight showed all those younger divas how it’s done, and done right.

Les Miserables was up for Best Revival; I didn’t know it had ever gone away …

James Monroe Iglehart brought the house down in a  number from Aladdin — right before he won a Tony for the role — but I was kinda busy looking at Adam Jacobs’, as Aladdin, abs.

Clint Eastwood. Why? Broadway and Eastwood? Plus, man did he seem old and disoriented.

Fran Drescher? Seriously. Oh, she was on Broadway, signing, no less, this Spring in Cinderella. No, she’s the evil stepmother.

Jonathan Groff — cute and gay — steps out to introduce Idina Menzel singing a song from her Tony-nominated role in If/Then and does the perfect impression of Travolta at the Oscars with “the wickedly talented” Idina Menzel; yes, he got the name right.

Sting — a favorite of mine ... a friend and I once saw him in concert seven times in eight days at six different venues — was on to present a song from his upcoming musical he wrote, The Last Ship. I.Love.Sting. I did not like this song. I mean, if you want me to come see this thing, don’t give sad and drab musical numbers, give me something to excite me.

Like … say … Alan Cumming reprising his role as the Emcee in the remounting of the revival of the original musical Cabaret. I remember when he first appeared on Broadway in that role back in 1998 and it seemed kind of risqué and shocking. Times have changed and now it seems, well, still sexy, but kind of quaint.

I have a wee crush on Mister Cumming because he's openly gay, a happily married man and has the most delicious Scottish accent ... and I am a sucker for a man with an accent.

The scene they chose to use from Rocky: The Musical might have been better if it featured an actual song? Just sayin’. But ... a New Hottie Alert goes out to Andy Karl, who stars in Rocky; The Musical. He's like a younger, more smoldering Dylan McDermott.

Kenneth Branagh, unlike Hugh Jackman, was hotter with his beard, and again, facial hair, people.

Patricia Clarkson presented with Bradley Cooper and Alessandro Nivola, and I kept thinking I’d like to be the meat in the sandwich … minus Clarkson, though.

Now, i have nothing against Miss Clarkson, in fact, she's one of my favorite actresses — see Far from Home  — but, c'mon, she is kinda the odd, er, man out in that threesome, you know.

RuPaul came out in male drag to introduce NPH performing from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I don’t think it was lost on anyone who’s been paying attention to TrannyGate that he used the word transgender last night. That said, NPH was fantastic as Hedwig; tour de force performance. Fun and edgy; and the kiss he laid on his husband, David Burtka, was hot. Plus, later on NPH won as best Actor in a Musical, so it was tres gay!

My Hot Gay Alert Alarm sounded when Matt Bomer and Zachary Quinto appeared together looking all cute and sexy and gay.

It was almost like a dream I once had where Matt, Zach and I … we … um … yeah .. I think it best if I just leave it at that, and then hope I get that dream again.

Audra McDonald — one of my all-time favorite singers and actresses — won a history making sixth Tony Award for her portrayal of one of mu other favorite singers, Billie Holiday, in Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill. 

She is truly an amazingly talented singer and actress.

And Jennifer Hudson sang a song from an upcoming musical Finding Neverland. I don’t know if JHud is going to be in it, but someone needs to get that girl in a Broadway musical and fast. That is a show-stopping voice if there ever was one and Broadway could use her.

And there you have it, the high points, at least in my shallow Broadway-loving, show-tune-singing, Huge-Ackman-craving mind. It was very gay, and very gay, and fabulous and fun and entertaining. Hugh was fantastic; not as wild and crazy and madcap as NPH, but, man, singing, dancing, joking, and looking hot? He's the total package with a total package. As Ethel Merman might have sung, had she seen him:

♪ ♫ Who could ask for anything more! ♪ ♫

Best Musical "A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder"

Best Revival of a Musical "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"

Leading Actor in a Musical Neil Patrick Harris, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"

Leading Actress in a Musical Jesse Mueller, "Beautiful -- The Carole King Musical"

Best Featured Actress in a Musical Lena Hall, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"

Best Featured Actor in a Musical James M. Iglehart, "Aladdin"

Best Direction of a Musical Darko Tresnjak, "A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder"

Best Play "All the Way"

Best Revival of a Play "A Raisin in the Sun"

Leading Actress in a Play Audra McDonald, "Lady Day at Emerson's Bar & Grill"

Leading Actor in a Play Bryan Cranston, "All the Way"

Best Featured Actor in a Play Mark Rylance, "Twelfth Night"

Best Featured Actress in a Play Sophie Okonedo, "A Raisin in the Sun"

Best Direction of a Play Kenny Leon, "A Raisin in the Sun"