I Love Dick

Y’all can have Rhianna and Katy and Madge and Brit and Gaga — wait, is she still relevant or has it been fifteen minutes — but my gay icon is … wait for it … it’s unexpected … it’s not who you think … District Court Judge Richard Young.

Swoon.

See, Dick, as I like to think of him — and, No, not in that way — is the judge who struck down Indiana's same-sex marriage ban back in June. And yesterday he ruled in the case of Bowling v Pence, the state's last unresolved marriage equality lawsuit, and found in favor of the defendants, which now requires Indiana to recognize out-of-state marriages same-sex marriages.

Swoon.

Now, since Dick had already ruled on this once, his latest ruling came as no real surprise, but it’s what he said, and to whom he said it, that makes him swoon-worthy. He basically called Indiana Governor, and ISBL Asshat of the Week award winner, Mike Pence a big fat liar by saying that the governor's statements to the court were "bold misrepresentations" and then reinstating Pence as a defendant in the case as it moves ahead on appeal. 

See, last year Pence filed a motion to be removed as a defendant in the lawsuit because, he said, he had no authority to enforce the state’s ban on same-sex marriage and, based on that representation, the court agreed. But, when Dick, er, Judge Young, struck down Indiana’s marriage ban, Pence’s general consul began sending memos to all executive branch agencies directing them on how they were to proceed. 

Wait, what? Pence says he has no authority over the issue, but then when the case goes the way he doesn’t want it to, suddenly he’s all up in that business? Well, Dick wasn’t playing:

"...the Governor did what he claimed he could not do by directing executive agencies on how to proceed in enforcing the law."

That's judicial-speak for: Mike Pence is a big fat liar.

Swoon.

I love you Dick, er, Judge Young.

via NCRM

Random Musings

Out in Indiana, anti-equality GOP Governor Mike Pence — who might make a run at the White House in 2016 — issued a memo ordering state agencies not to recognize the hundreds of same-sex marriages that took place in the brief period when marriage equality was legal and before a stay was ordered.

Asshat. And I cannot wait for what he’ll say, or how he’ll spin it, when the courts order equality to stand. How quickly might he change his tune in his bid at the presidency?

Flip-flopping asshatted tool.

Speaking of marriage ….

Last weekend I updated my Facebook status to tell friends and family that Carlos and I would be getting married this October:

Well, after fourteen looooooooong years together, Carlos and I have decided that, in the words of the immortal Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer, "Enough is enough is enough is enough is enough is enough ... it's enough" and we will be getting married this October. Who would ever saw that coming, eh?

And we received some lovely wishes from friends and family all over the globe, but there was one message that was, well, unexpected and eerie.

I noticed that I had a couple of personal messages and checked them out. One was from a friend just wanting to chat, but the other was just a smiley face ,,, from my sister.

Now, to be clear, the simple smiley face was sent by my sister as a sign-off to a chat we’d had back in December, two months before she passed away; and I had seen it back then, but how wonderfully eerie and sweet that, for whatever reason, it was once again listed as a new message right after I announced that Carlos and I were gettin' hitched?

My big sister is still looking out for me …

Oh geez, won’t this woman ever go away?

It seems that after The View fired Jenny McCarthy and Sherri Shepherd, the Mama Grizzly Bore™ weighed in the topic suggesting that she would be a good addition to the program.

Asked by a reporter — possibly from the lame-stream media she says she loathes — if she had any interest in doing a "political talk show," MGB™ replied, "I hear everyone recently got canned from 'The View,' maybe a show like that needs a punch of reality and a voice of reason from America's heartland to knock some humble sense into their scripts. You know, someone willing to go rogue."

By rogue she means, put the final nail in the coffin of a show that should have died years ago.

I am a goofball. I like to make jokes all the time, about anything and everything; sometimes cute little jokes and sometimes the most offensive things imaginable just to get a reaction out of people.

Carlos, on the other, while he has a fabulous sense of humor, isn’t so keen on being a goofball and the other night I tried to break him out of that shell.

See, there’s a commercial for Tropicana orange juice where you hear Debbie Reynolds and Donald O’Connor sing “Good Mornin’” from  Singing in the Rain  and I always, always, sing along with it, adding some jazz hands for effect.

The other night I asked Carlos to sing it with me and he refused. I begged, pleaded, cajoled, threatened and he still said ‘No.’

I accused him of being uptight, and he uttered, in a somewhat high-pitched voice tinged with an English accent:

“I am not upt-i-i-i-i-ght.”

I said, “Who are you supposed to be? Dame Judy Dench?”

He said, “Maybe.”

I said, “Sounds more like Dame Judy Clench.”

PS I’m still waiting for him to sing to me.

Last week Pope Frankie met with six victims of pedophile priests; his first such meeting since becoming The Head Cheese last year. He said that Catholic bishops "will be held accountable" for failing to protect children from sexual abuse, but made no move as to how this would work, leading many, including myself, to think this was just a media moment and means nothing in the long run.

Sure, I’m cynical about the Catholic Church protecting children from priests who rape them, but that’s because they haven’t shown any action at all in that area. It’s all lip service, though I am hoping Pope Frankie proves me wrong.

Madonna was called to jury duty this week in New York and appeared an hour late — some say she was told to show up late to avoid the crowds and the sensation that a fading pop singer who fails to act her age, might receive.

Madge, who had been excused in May thanks to a doctor’s note :::coughcough::: plastic surgeon :::coughcough:::  was surrounded by her security team as she entered the clerk’s office and not the regular jury assembly room. She was immediately excused because there were ‘ample jurors’ and she was also bypassed because her presence was causing a commotion.

Watch licking her armpits again? Calling her son the N-word? Posting a dozen or some Photoshopped pictures to Instagram? Because that would be Madge on jury duty; it would be all about her.

So, I watched some of the World Cup these past weeks, though without the fervor of most in the world, and many in this country; I do, however like, all the man-on-man groping and kissing and tugging down of the shorts, making the games seem almost soft-core porn.

Speaking of which …

I often caught ESPN’s panel of experts talking about the games and the winners and losers and there, right in the middle, was one gorgeous man, whom I assumed, because of his coloring was Latino—and you all know how I feel about the Hispanic Mens.

Michael Ballack was his name, and he was a former soccer player from Germany. Yes, he looks Hispanic but he’s German.

And oh so delicious.

Enough with the actual games, give me more recaps.

Julie Bindel — don’t worry, I never heard of her either — wrote a book called  Straight Expectations in which she argues that sexual orientation is a choice.

Well, except for her, I guess, because she said this …

“All I know is I’ve never been convinced by a scientific argument, or seen any evidence that is compelling that there is something innate about our sexuality. What I’m suggesting is, there are people who could go one way or the other and happily choose to be lesbian or gay.”

And then she said this about her choosing to be gay …

“Because I needed to leave home – there was nothing there for me in Darlington – and pursue my feminist possibilities, that meant starting a new life and all that was open to me. I fell in with a crowd [in Leeds] who spoke about lesbianism as part of women’s liberation. I never chose to be attracted to women.”

Huh. So she says I chose to be gay because there is no proof that it could be any other way and then says she didn’t choose it at all.

Siddown asshat.

District Court Judge C. Scott Crabtree on Wednesday ruled that Colorado’s 2006 voter-approved ban violates the state and federal constitutions. He immediately put his ruling on hold pending an appeal.

Welcome to equality Colorado.

The march goes on …

This one makes me laugh … because, well, dumb.

Liberal Democratic Russian Parliament Member Roman Khudyakov has asked Russia’s Central Bank to change the 100 ruble note because, according to him, it “clearly” shows Apollo’s genitals and that runs afoul of Russia’s ban on exposing children to The Gays.

Khudyakov  complained that “intimate parts of the body” were visible on the banknote, which he says should have an “18+” rating under the anti-gay law.

I thought this was the height of stupidity, thinking that a statue on a piece of money would make the children gay but then I learned that in 2011 the real statue of Apollo, at the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow, was also censored when the exposed genitals were covered by a fig leaf.

Khudyakov doesn’t seem to think that Apollo’s microscopic penis on the currency might encourage lesbians to go straight.

Seriously.

Random Musings

Carlos and I were watching TV the other night and that commercial for Dove Chocolate came on; the one which stars a dead Audrey Hepburn selling candy. Don’t get me started on that! But to my surprise Carlos was offended, mumbling something about there only being one Audrey Hepburn. I was stunned; I never knew he was a fan of Audrey’s so, innocently, I asked:

Since when are you a fan of Audrey Hepburn?

I love her.

Really? Name one movie she was in …

::::crickets:::

Seriously, give me the name of one movie.

There are so many—

I know that’s why I asked for one, just one, movie. I mean, I can think of five right off the top of my head!

Well, there was the one where her father was artist and there was a car ….

What was that one called? My Father’s An Artist and There’s A Car?

Ten minutes pass. Ten minutes.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Bless his heart.

Yaz’min Shancez, a transgender woman who lived in Fort Myers, Florida was murdered, her body burned and then tossed behind a dumpster. Police are investigating but they don’t think it was a Hate Crime.

Fort Myers Police Lt. Jay Rodriguez:

“If you really think about it, a hate crime is killing someone for a specific reason, being black, Hispanic, gay. We’re investigating as we would any other homicide.”

Not a Hate Crime? Transgender woman, burned to death and then thrown away? Let me set this queer, again.

If Yaz’min was beaten and murdered because someone wanted her new phone, or her car, or maybe her credit cards and money that would be a hateful crime. But when a transgendered woman is beaten and tortured and burned to death and then her body is tossed away like garbage, that is Hate.

Are we queer on that now?

Apparently the GOP in South Dakota has nothing to do. I guess everyone in the state is working, the jobs are all good, health care in place, environment protected; it’s all good.

I mean, it must be, right, because how else do we explain that the South Dakota state GOP passed a resolution calling for the impeachment of President Obama.

The resolution says Obama has "violated his oath of office in numerous ways." It specifically cites the release of five Taliban combatants in a trade for captive U.S. soldier Bowe Bergdahl, Obama's statement that people could keep insurance companies, and recent EPA regulations on power plants.

Allen Unruh of Sioux Falls sponsored the resolution, saying he has a “thick book on impeachable offenses of the president" and asking that South Dakota "send a symbolic message that liberty shall be the law of the land."

I have a better plan; rather than sending symbolic messages why don’t you do your f**king jobs?

I was home during the day on Monday and happened to catch an episode of The View. I stopped even glancing at the show when Joy Behar left because the table including idiotic Sherri Shepherd, daft Babs Walters, and Behar’s replacement, moronic non-thinker Jenny McCarthy. I only ever wondered how Whoopi Goldberg could stand to stay on that show surrounded by fools and morons.

I heard them discuss a story about Arkansas training teachers to carry guns in schools, and when McCarthy said it was a great idea, I nearly pulled out my gun and shot through my TV set.

Luckily, I don’t own a gun, because I can’t afford a new TV this month. But, seriously, Jenny? The solution to crazed people with guns shooting up schools is to put guns in the hands of teachers?

You know damned well that, god forbid there was a school shooting at the school McCarthy’s son attends, and a teacher didn’t protect her son, or a teacher accidentally shot an innocent child, or a kid got hold of a teacher’s gun, McCarthy would be the first person on social media ranting about it.

That woman needs to take a seat, on another show, where her opinions don’t matter.

FoxNews.

So, there’s this on NBC called Taxi Brooklyn. It aired last night, and I, mistakenly, thought it would be a comedy; I was thinking Taxi and Brooklyn-9-9 but I was wrong. It’s your standard police procedural with a ridiculous twist, wherein a female detective is such a bad driver that she is not allowed to drive a police car so she teams up with a taxi driver to solve crimes.

Dumb. I know. But then there’s Jacky Ido, a gorgeous Black Frenchman playing Leo the taxi driver. Hot, with an accent. Did I mention hot? Accent?

Plus, in a rare twist, Raul Casso plays Ronnie, Leo’s roommate, a cross-dressing, sexually fluid war veteran and taxi driver. In one scene last night he blatantly flirts with a burly looking police officer and then offers up his card, saying, “Call me.” And the officer looks around, shrugs and then takes the card.

I kinda liked the surprise of that.

I’ll stick around and see if this show pans out, but mostly because there’s a Hot Black Frenchman.

Lotsa marriage news this week….

New York Congressman Sean Patrick Maloney married his partner of twenty-two years, Randy Gene Florke, over the weekend. Florke proposed in December after the youngest of their three children wrote to Santa wishing for her parents to be married—Maloney and Florke have three children ranging in age from 11 to 24.

Congratulations to the happy couple.

Out there to Indiana, the minute the same-sex marriage ban was declared unconstitutional, Craig Bowen and Jake Miller were wed in Indianapolis. They have been together for eight years.

The moment the decision came down, Jake texted Craig and asked him if he wanted to get married … now. Craig said yes, and they headed to the county clerk's office, where they were the first same-sex couple to arrive.

Congratulations to them, as well.

Also in Indiana, after the ruling striking down the same-sex  marriage ban, Marion County Clerk Beth White announced she was ready to marry some gay couples, and by the end of the day there had been 186 same-sex weddings.

And, White added that marriage licenses, and ceremonies, would resume again this morning at 8AM and that the civil ceremonies would be offered for a  voluntary donation of $50 to the Indiana Youth Group.

White has, so far, raised $4,000 for the IYG.

Get married and help a charity for LGBTQ youth? Win. Win.

A three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit issued a 2 to 1 decision yesterday upholding a district court decision that Utah’s marriage ban for same-sex couples is unconstitutional.

The decision in Herbert v. Kitchen is the first from a federal appeals court on a state marriage ban since the U.S. Supreme Court decision in U.S. v. Windsor and this ruling puts the Utah case closest to arriving at the Supreme Court. And we all know what happened the last time … a year ago today!

 Interesting side note … although the Tenth Circuit stayed its order finding a marriage ban for same-sex couples unconstitutional in Utah, Boulder County, Colorado  began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples as well since the Tenth Circuit includes Colorado, Kansas, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Utah, and Wyoming. 

Yesterday was a great day in the March For Marriage!

More good news? Can you stand it?

Broadway actors Andy Mientus and Michael Arden announced their engagement. Arden has appeared on Broadway in The Times They Are A-Changin’ and Big River and has been seen on TV in series including Anger Management, Nurse Jackie and The Good Wife. Mientus, who makes his Broadway debut in this season’s Les Misérables, has also appeared in Anger Management and in NBC’s Smash.

Announcing their engagement on Instagram, Mientus quoted Shakespeare’s As You Like It:

"Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a holiday humour and like enough to consent." 

Congratulations to this happy couple.