Random Musings

After the terrorist attack that left several people dead last week, this week satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo issued a new magazine, with yet another caricature of the prophet Mohammed on the cover.

Translation: All is forgiven.

The magazine, which normally sells around 30,000 copies a week, had an initial run of three million, which was subsequently upped to five million after copies were being snapped up all over the place.

Freedom of Speech lives. Je suis Charlie.

So, the other night I was watching Marry Me, a moderately funny show created by the same guy who created the very funny, and sadly canceled, Happy Endings. Still, Marry Me is good, and there are some bits of irreverence and truly funny moments like …

The week’s episode was about couples having a ‘show,’ a favorite show they watch together. And it was about how, maybe, half the couple watched the show without their other half, but what made me giggle was the gay dads on the show, and how they watch TV.

The one gay dad, Kevin, played by Tim Meadows, watched his ‘couples’ show without his husband, also Kevin, played by Dan Bucatinsky, because Dan’s Kevin was always asking so many questions that Tim’s Kevin couldn’t watch the show.

That’s me and Carlos.

We’re watching a show and Carlos will say, Oooh that’s a nice lamp or I thought she was dead or Wasn’t he in that movie we saw? You know, that movie? And I will have to stop the DVR, answer the question and then try to catch up with the story.

So, I made Carlos watch the scene and told him that was us, and he said, Which one are you?

I’m the black guy! I said. I’m black!

I imagine our neighbors wondered what the hell was going on in The Big Gay House.

PS Carlos said, Was there a Black guy?

Oy.

Good news on the Gays In Ads front: Tiffany has released a new print ad that is chic and clean and beautiful, featuring a gorgeous couple who is newly engaged.

The only difference is that the couple is composed of two men, making them the first gay couple ever featured in a Tiffany’s engagement campaign. Even better, the couple in the ad is a real-life New York couple.

The march goes on ….

Okay, so I watched Empire on Fox last week, Now, I am not a particular fan of rap or hip-hop so I wondered if I’d like the show that was dubbed Nashville Goes Hip Hop. But, it was also called Urban Dynasty so I was intrigued. 

Plus there were some hot mens in the piece, like Jussie Smollett and Rafael de la Fuente, who play a gay couple, and Trai Byers who is a piece of prime beefcake.

It also stars Taraji P. Henson in a standout role as cookie; Cookie is a spitfire, fresh from prison, wanting what’s hers and when Henson is onscreen you don’t see anyone else. She is amazing.

Sadly, it also stars Terrence Howard, playing smug and smarmy.

Check it out for the beefcake and stay for Cookie.

So, Pope Francis will be visiting the Philippines soon and with so many people on the streets, and so many traffic enforcers — some 2,000 — needed to keep things running smoothly, there was the question of what to do when nature calls? Leave your post and head for the loo? Oh hell no.

Those 2,000 traffic enforcers who will be on duty during the Pope’s visit will be required to wear adult diapers, according to Metropolitan Manila Development Authority chairman Francis Tolentino, who even encouraged people waiting to see Frankie to also wear diapers.

Oh lord. Imagine the changing tables in the restrooms. Oy.

In WTF news: McCleish Christmas Benham, the passenger who went on a drunken, violent, anti-gay rampage caught on video at DFW International Airport last fall will pay just $474 in fines.

Benham assaulted two people while yelling anti-gay epithets, before other passengers tackled him to the ground and he was arrested. He was charged with public intoxication and simple assault.

He had pleaded no contest — meaning he admitted he was guilty — but failed to appear in court which lead to the fines. The lesson learned: beat up a gay in an airport while shouting homophobic slurs and you just pay a fine. 

Don’t mess with Texas … better yet, don’t go to Texas.

Oh, the showtune queen in me is all atwitter.

There have been rumors that a  movie version of the hit Broadway musical Wicked: The Untold Story of the Witches of Oz  going around ever since the show opened eleven years ago, but now, well, it seems like it may actually happen.

Producer Marc Platt has said that a film version of Wicked could be in theaters by next year … even if the movie hasn’t been officially greenlighted yet. Steven Daldry, who directed The Hours, is said to be on board, but we, and by we I mean me, er, I, need to remember that it took 30 years to get Les Miz from stage to screen, and 27 years to get Into The Woods on film.

Still, 2016? I’m getting in line now with my Wicked t-shirt, my Wicked cap, and my Wicked mug.

Yes, I am that queen.

Out west, the Ninth Circuit of Appeals has denied Idaho Governor Butch Otter’s petition for an en banc review of the court’s decision to strike down Idaho’s same-sex marriage ban.

Still, Otter has promised that he would continue to fight against marriage equality in Idaho until he was left with no other options.

Good luck with that … dick.

In other movie news, Matt Bomer, My-Husband-In-My-Head and recent Golden Globe winner for the Normal Heart, is set to play closeted gay actor Montgomery Clift in a new HBO film.

Clift starred in classic films like The Heiress, Red River, From Here to Eternity and Judgment at Nuremberg. He died of a heart attack in 1965 at the age of 45.

It should be a great pairing of Bomer and Clift.

Again, the queen in me cannot wait!

In the wake of the attack at Charlie Hebdo last week, Congressman Randy Weber, of Texas of course, Tweeted a disgusting attack on President Barack Obama, offending what appears to be the vast majority of people who saw his tweet:

Of course, Weber was just goose-stepping along with Fox News by dragging the President through the mud for not marching in the Paris Unity Rally last weekend—and for the record, I think Obama should have been there, but I would never have compared him to Hitler, you know, because I’m not an asshat.

Weber left his stupid Tweet up for almost a day while people replied to him, calling him out on his ridiculous behavior, and then he apologized … kind of:

“I need to first apologize to all those offended by my tweet. It was not my intention to trivialize the Holocaust nor to compare the President to Adolf Hitler. The mention of Hitler was meant to represent the face of evil that still exists in the world today. I now realize that the use of Hitler invokes pain and emotional trauma for those affected by the atrocities of the Holocaust and victims of anti-Semitism and hate."

He didn’t mean to compare Obama to Hitler in a Tweet in which he compares Obama to Hitler?

Siddown Weber, you’re just another racist Texas congressman who spends most of his time kissing the ass of Fox News.

Oh, and where was your apology to the man you offended most of all, the President?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

In other political news, the 114th Congress took office this week and the Lunatics Running The Asylum, AKA Teabaggers, no time in introducing plethora of f**kery, like:

Rep. Steve King, Iowa, introduced a resolution to repeal the Sixteenth Amendment, which authorizes Congress to levy income tax. King also introduced a resolution to repeal the Affordable Care Act … again!

Rep. Mo Brooks, Alabama, introduced a resolution to authorize Congress to sue to the president for "actions inconsistent" with his duties regarding immigration laws.

Rep. Tom Rice, of South Carolina … sigh … introduced a resolution to authorize the House to sue any member of the executive branch who "oversteps their authority" regarding immigration laws. 

Rep. Robert Anderholt, also Alabama, introduced a resolution to repeal any executive order regarding immigration reform and "restore" such actions to the federal legislature.

Rep. Bob Goodlatte, Virginia, introduced a resolution to "terminate" the Internal Revenue Code.

Rep. Andy Barre, Kentucky, introduced a resolution that would limit members of the Senate to serving two consecutive terms and limit members of the House to serving six consecutive terms; okay, I like that one.

Rep. Trent Franks, Arizona, introduced a resolution to make it a felony punishable by five years in prison to perform an abortion on a woman carrying a "pain-capable" fetus.

Rep. Todd Young, Indiana, introduced a resolution to raise the threshold for classification as a full-time worker from 30 hours per week to 40 hours per week, which would mean the end of mandated health insurance for everybody who works fewer than 40 hours, which means F**K you Middle class..

It’s gonna be a rough couple of years with the Rightwingnuts in the House … and Senate.

Randy Thomas, a former vice-president of ex-gay group Exodus International, is now embracing the fact that he’s a big old queen and showing us, once again, that being gay is not a choice and reparative therapy is a sham. He says, now:

“I have read many stories of people who have ‘come out again’ or accepted they are gay after some time in the ex-gay world. Many of their stories are compelling and well-written. But, sometimes I wish they would get to the point right off the bat. Just say it and then tell the story. So that is what I am going to do: I am gay.”

I’d say Welcome Out, and I might give you a gift or two, but after all the harm you’ve inflicted by being a self-loathing closeted queer, you don’t need a gift.

You need to give us a gift and simply go away and be gay and quiet.

The "Don't Jerk And Drive" Ad Has Been Yanked

Okay, so we all know you should never drink and drive; and we’ve all seen the ads out now that say you shouldn’t text and drive. But, out there in South Dakota, they apparently had a different kinda problem with driving and so they created a … wait for it … it’s amazing … Don’t Jerk and Drive campaign.

And so they pulled … for lack of a better word, or at least a more punny word … the ad because, well, masturbation.

Here’s the statement from Trevor Jones, Secretary, S.D. Dept. Of Public Safety [DPS]:

I decided to pull the ad. This is an important safety message and I don't want this innuendo to distract from our goal to save lives on the road.

Innuendo? Is that code for something else South Dakotans are doing on the road when they aren’t jerking?

The PSAs, which appeared on billboards around the state, were supposed to "grab the attention of drivers" about the dangers of navigating snowy roads. The Office of Highway Safety took a whack at double entendre to spark interest in the campaign, but it rubbed a lot of folks the wrong way, and so the ad was yanked.

Just like you wouldn’t want young male drivers to “adjust the antenna” while driving.

Just like you wouldn’t want young male drivers to “blow their own horn” while driving.

Just like you wouldn’t want young male drivers to “clean their rifle” while driving.

A stroke of genius, I might add.

Congressman Mike Verchio, a Republican who chairs the House Transportation Committee, said he heard from several citizens who were upset about the ad … especially the social media hashtag #DontJerkAndDrive.

Ya think?

More than 16,000 people saw the campaign on Twitter in its first week, and page views at the DPS's Facebook page jumped to over 30,000 since the campaign launched, outperforming previous public safety campaigns 25 to 1.

Cuz, you know, the whole jerking thing.

So the ad was pulled, and pulled and pulled from every single site it was on. You'd think South Dakotans would be against "choking the chicken" while driving, but it appears they are far more open-minded than previously thought. 

So the ad is gone; no more sticky PR mess to clean up.

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PFOX: Liars and Asshats

Gay? Are we born that way, or do we choose it?

Well, PFOX [Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays] an anti-gay organization that wants y’all to believe that The Gays chose The Gay is trying real hard again to make their point. This time they’ve erected a billboard along I-95 in Virginia to share their, um, Christmas message:

"Identical twins: One gay, one not. Nobody is born gay."

So says one Regina Griggs, Executive Director of PFOX, who adds:

"Identical twins have the same genes or DNA. If homosexuality is caused by genetics or prenatal conditions and one twin is gay, the co-twin should also be gay…Because identical twins are always genetically identical, homosexuality cannot be genetically dictated. No one is born gay."

Hmmm, that makes sense, you know, until you actually read up on the science of genetics and identical twins, as was done by Scientific American in 2008, where they learned that identical twins are rarely completely the same, such as not having the same fingerprints or even the same IQ levels. Now, if there is some genetic marker that makes one twin gay, maybe that other twin, no matter how identical, wasn’t lucky enough to get it.

And the good folks at PFOX have some IQ issues all their own, or at least some ethical issues, because, you see, the twins in the picture are not twins. It’s two pictures of the same young man, Kyle Roux, a South African model who is not a twin, but is most definitely gay, and wants PFOX to know that:.

"It just seems like there no place in today's world for an organization that is promoting this as being some kind of deviant or distasteful lifestyle, because I've lived my life openly gay and happy for my entire life. It's actually quite a big thing that there is this kind of discrimination and borderline hate speech going on, you know.” — Kyle Roux

Let me make this queer to all those anti-gay hate groups: if you believe in your rubbish, all well and good, if that’s how you choose to live your life. But don’t make up lies and put ‘em on a sign for all the world to see. It makes you look stupid and hateful and just plain pathetic.

Why would you choose that?

via NCRM

Target: My Two Dads Ad

They say some things never change, but some things do … like Target.

It was just a couple of years ago that the retail giant sparked the ire of many in the LGBT community when they began donating money to the political campaigns of anti-LGBT candidates, and that ire turned into fury, and a boycott, when Target responded with a ‘So what’ attitude.

Now, however, Target has evolved, just like Barack Obama. In fact, they have come down on the side of marriage equality by joining the fight in Wisconsin.

Naturally, this has sparked the ire-turned-fury of the anti-equality folks who once said that the LGBT boycott of Target was “homo-fascism” but their boycott of Target was God’s will. Or something.

Anyway, on with Target’s change; they have released a new commercial for their “Made to Matter” line of goods that features two dads painting with their child. The ad was first posted to YouTube and is seen by some as an answer to several of those anti-LGBT groups’ boycott.

An answer that says, “Yeah? So?”

A Target spokeswoman responded to the uproar:

"Target is committed to diversity and inclusion in every aspect of our business, including our marketing efforts. The casting of this couple and their son is in line with previous marketing that Target has created including our wedding registry ad campaigns that have been running for the past several years."

YouTube response to the video s overwhelmingly positive:

"Thank you, Target, for standing against the sinful anti-gay lobby who seek to redefine discrimination as a 'sincerely held religious belief.' Despite their efforts to redefine traditional values such as equality, family and love into something ugly and sinister, we know that most Americans reject their evil agenda! God bless you for standing up for what is right, good and American!"

Naturally, though, anti-LGBT groups have been less happy with the ads. Matt Barber, vice president of the Hate group the Liberty Counsel Action, said Target's decision to sign the amicus brief — which federally challenged Wisconsin and Indiana's same-sex marriage bans — was a “slap in the face to millions of pro-family customers."

You know, cuz The Gays are anti-family.

But Target won’t back down. In a blog post published last month, Jodee Kozlak, Target's executive vice president of human resources, said:

“It is our belief that everyone should be treated equally under the law, and that includes rights we believe individuals should have related to marriage. We believe that everyone – all of our team members and our guests – deserve to be treated equally. And at Target we are proud to support the LGBT community."

Things can change; people can change’ retailers can change.

Sure, you can say that perhaps Target changed their policies because they realized they are shunning a segment of society that is rumored to be overflowing with disposable income, and in this economy, you wanna make the coins, but my feeling is, however you change your mind whatever brings you to equality … good.

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