Random Musings

After the terrorist attack that left several people dead last week, this week satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo issued a new magazine, with yet another caricature of the prophet Mohammed on the cover.

Translation: All is forgiven.

The magazine, which normally sells around 30,000 copies a week, had an initial run of three million, which was subsequently upped to five million after copies were being snapped up all over the place.

Freedom of Speech lives. Je suis Charlie.

So, the other night I was watching Marry Me, a moderately funny show created by the same guy who created the very funny, and sadly canceled, Happy Endings. Still, Marry Me is good, and there are some bits of irreverence and truly funny moments like …

The week’s episode was about couples having a ‘show,’ a favorite show they watch together. And it was about how, maybe, half the couple watched the show without their other half, but what made me giggle was the gay dads on the show, and how they watch TV.

The one gay dad, Kevin, played by Tim Meadows, watched his ‘couples’ show without his husband, also Kevin, played by Dan Bucatinsky, because Dan’s Kevin was always asking so many questions that Tim’s Kevin couldn’t watch the show.

That’s me and Carlos.

We’re watching a show and Carlos will say, Oooh that’s a nice lamp or I thought she was dead or Wasn’t he in that movie we saw? You know, that movie? And I will have to stop the DVR, answer the question and then try to catch up with the story.

So, I made Carlos watch the scene and told him that was us, and he said, Which one are you?

I’m the black guy! I said. I’m black!

I imagine our neighbors wondered what the hell was going on in The Big Gay House.

PS Carlos said, Was there a Black guy?

Oy.

Good news on the Gays In Ads front: Tiffany has released a new print ad that is chic and clean and beautiful, featuring a gorgeous couple who is newly engaged.

The only difference is that the couple is composed of two men, making them the first gay couple ever featured in a Tiffany’s engagement campaign. Even better, the couple in the ad is a real-life New York couple.

The march goes on ….

Okay, so I watched Empire on Fox last week, Now, I am not a particular fan of rap or hip-hop so I wondered if I’d like the show that was dubbed Nashville Goes Hip Hop. But, it was also called Urban Dynasty so I was intrigued. 

Plus there were some hot mens in the piece, like Jussie Smollett and Rafael de la Fuente, who play a gay couple, and Trai Byers who is a piece of prime beefcake.

It also stars Taraji P. Henson in a standout role as cookie; Cookie is a spitfire, fresh from prison, wanting what’s hers and when Henson is onscreen you don’t see anyone else. She is amazing.

Sadly, it also stars Terrence Howard, playing smug and smarmy.

Check it out for the beefcake and stay for Cookie.

So, Pope Francis will be visiting the Philippines soon and with so many people on the streets, and so many traffic enforcers — some 2,000 — needed to keep things running smoothly, there was the question of what to do when nature calls? Leave your post and head for the loo? Oh hell no.

Those 2,000 traffic enforcers who will be on duty during the Pope’s visit will be required to wear adult diapers, according to Metropolitan Manila Development Authority chairman Francis Tolentino, who even encouraged people waiting to see Frankie to also wear diapers.

Oh lord. Imagine the changing tables in the restrooms. Oy.

In WTF news: McCleish Christmas Benham, the passenger who went on a drunken, violent, anti-gay rampage caught on video at DFW International Airport last fall will pay just $474 in fines.

Benham assaulted two people while yelling anti-gay epithets, before other passengers tackled him to the ground and he was arrested. He was charged with public intoxication and simple assault.

He had pleaded no contest — meaning he admitted he was guilty — but failed to appear in court which lead to the fines. The lesson learned: beat up a gay in an airport while shouting homophobic slurs and you just pay a fine. 

Don’t mess with Texas … better yet, don’t go to Texas.

Oh, the showtune queen in me is all atwitter.

There have been rumors that a  movie version of the hit Broadway musical Wicked: The Untold Story of the Witches of Oz  going around ever since the show opened eleven years ago, but now, well, it seems like it may actually happen.

Producer Marc Platt has said that a film version of Wicked could be in theaters by next year … even if the movie hasn’t been officially greenlighted yet. Steven Daldry, who directed The Hours, is said to be on board, but we, and by we I mean me, er, I, need to remember that it took 30 years to get Les Miz from stage to screen, and 27 years to get Into The Woods on film.

Still, 2016? I’m getting in line now with my Wicked t-shirt, my Wicked cap, and my Wicked mug.

Yes, I am that queen.

Out west, the Ninth Circuit of Appeals has denied Idaho Governor Butch Otter’s petition for an en banc review of the court’s decision to strike down Idaho’s same-sex marriage ban.

Still, Otter has promised that he would continue to fight against marriage equality in Idaho until he was left with no other options.

Good luck with that … dick.

In other movie news, Matt Bomer, My-Husband-In-My-Head and recent Golden Globe winner for the Normal Heart, is set to play closeted gay actor Montgomery Clift in a new HBO film.

Clift starred in classic films like The Heiress, Red River, From Here to Eternity and Judgment at Nuremberg. He died of a heart attack in 1965 at the age of 45.

It should be a great pairing of Bomer and Clift.

Again, the queen in me cannot wait!

In the wake of the attack at Charlie Hebdo last week, Congressman Randy Weber, of Texas of course, Tweeted a disgusting attack on President Barack Obama, offending what appears to be the vast majority of people who saw his tweet:

Of course, Weber was just goose-stepping along with Fox News by dragging the President through the mud for not marching in the Paris Unity Rally last weekend—and for the record, I think Obama should have been there, but I would never have compared him to Hitler, you know, because I’m not an asshat.

Weber left his stupid Tweet up for almost a day while people replied to him, calling him out on his ridiculous behavior, and then he apologized … kind of:

“I need to first apologize to all those offended by my tweet. It was not my intention to trivialize the Holocaust nor to compare the President to Adolf Hitler. The mention of Hitler was meant to represent the face of evil that still exists in the world today. I now realize that the use of Hitler invokes pain and emotional trauma for those affected by the atrocities of the Holocaust and victims of anti-Semitism and hate."

He didn’t mean to compare Obama to Hitler in a Tweet in which he compares Obama to Hitler?

Siddown Weber, you’re just another racist Texas congressman who spends most of his time kissing the ass of Fox News.

Oh, and where was your apology to the man you offended most of all, the President?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

In other political news, the 114th Congress took office this week and the Lunatics Running The Asylum, AKA Teabaggers, no time in introducing plethora of f**kery, like:

Rep. Steve King, Iowa, introduced a resolution to repeal the Sixteenth Amendment, which authorizes Congress to levy income tax. King also introduced a resolution to repeal the Affordable Care Act … again!

Rep. Mo Brooks, Alabama, introduced a resolution to authorize Congress to sue to the president for "actions inconsistent" with his duties regarding immigration laws.

Rep. Tom Rice, of South Carolina … sigh … introduced a resolution to authorize the House to sue any member of the executive branch who "oversteps their authority" regarding immigration laws. 

Rep. Robert Anderholt, also Alabama, introduced a resolution to repeal any executive order regarding immigration reform and "restore" such actions to the federal legislature.

Rep. Bob Goodlatte, Virginia, introduced a resolution to "terminate" the Internal Revenue Code.

Rep. Andy Barre, Kentucky, introduced a resolution that would limit members of the Senate to serving two consecutive terms and limit members of the House to serving six consecutive terms; okay, I like that one.

Rep. Trent Franks, Arizona, introduced a resolution to make it a felony punishable by five years in prison to perform an abortion on a woman carrying a "pain-capable" fetus.

Rep. Todd Young, Indiana, introduced a resolution to raise the threshold for classification as a full-time worker from 30 hours per week to 40 hours per week, which would mean the end of mandated health insurance for everybody who works fewer than 40 hours, which means F**K you Middle class..

It’s gonna be a rough couple of years with the Rightwingnuts in the House … and Senate.

Randy Thomas, a former vice-president of ex-gay group Exodus International, is now embracing the fact that he’s a big old queen and showing us, once again, that being gay is not a choice and reparative therapy is a sham. He says, now:

“I have read many stories of people who have ‘come out again’ or accepted they are gay after some time in the ex-gay world. Many of their stories are compelling and well-written. But, sometimes I wish they would get to the point right off the bat. Just say it and then tell the story. So that is what I am going to do: I am gay.”

I’d say Welcome Out, and I might give you a gift or two, but after all the harm you’ve inflicted by being a self-loathing closeted queer, you don’t need a gift.

You need to give us a gift and simply go away and be gay and quiet.

Random Musings

The house next to Casa Bob y Carlos finally sold this week, and I think the new owners will be moving in soon, so I will be asking Carlos, and myself, to tone down our yelling; well, it’s really mock yelling, but to the neighbor’s it might seem, um, not so much.

I have been fighting a cold this week, and as happens, Carlos, who I must remind you all, is not a doctor, tells me I need to drink Hot Tea all the time.

I tell him, and, again, reminder, I am not a doctor, that I prefer to drink Not Hot Drinks. Carlos gives a dissertation on Hot Beverages and I quickly remind him that any doctor will tell you, cold or flu, to gets lots of sleep and drink lots of liquids … with no mention of a specific temperature of that said liquid.

As Carlos was leaving the house this morning, and as I was returning to my boudoir and the warm comfort of my bed, he began “mock” shouting Hot Tea! Hot Tea!

And I began “mock” shrieking, even with my bad throat, You’re not a doctor! Stop talking!! STOP TALKKING!!!!!

Welcome to the neighborhood, newbies!

Man alive, those Russians really hate The Gays, and anything even Gay Adjacent!

It seems the residents of Saint Petersburg have reportedly torn down a giant interactive iPhone memorial that commemorated the death of Apple founder Steve Jobs because Apple’s current CEO, Tim Cook, came out as gay. And the chairman of the company that installed the memorial said that it might return with a message that instructs Russians not to buy Apple products.

Yup, tell down a memorial to one man, because another man in the company is a ‘mo.

St. Petersburg better be careful, because with that attitude they might be tearing down the entire town one day.

Did y’all see blowhard Chris Christie going off on the man who dared interrupt him as he was speaking? The man, a constituent of Christie’s, and a man who survived Hurricane Sandy, though he’s still waiting for money to come through that he needs to rebuild his home, simply wanted the Governor to answer some questions.

Christie’s response? “Sit down and shut up."

Remember that when the Fat man runs for office because that’s how he’ll react to any question he doesn’t like.

It’s not presidential, it’s thuggish and bullying and condescending. If anyone needs to sit down and shut up it’s Chris Christie.

So Taylor Swift turned her back on Country music to be a Pop Star? Well, I’d say that Pop’s loss and Country’s gain. And she hightailed it right outta Nashville for New York City where she was named NYC’s Global Ambassador after living there all of half an hour.

So, what does Taylor Swift do? Well, she donated the proceeds of her new song “Welcome to New York” to charity and then she set up her world tour to promote her latest album.

She’ll be playing everywhere except New York City.

Seriously, the girl is a moron. I mean, she’s playing in Jersey so I guess she thinks that’s good enough? It isn’t.

After last Tuesday’s election, Senator Wack Nut, er, Rand Paul created a series of Facebook posts showing every losing Democrat endorsed by Hillary Clinton.

And you thought this was all Obama's fault? Nope, cuz he’ll be out of office in two years so Rand decides to go on the attack against Hilary.

Someone’s scared, eh, Rand?

I’ve been watching The Affair on Showtime. It tells the story of a murder — though we don’t know who died, even if they were murdered, or who did it — and a couple of people involved are the ones having The Affair.

It’s kind of morose, though I do enjoy the way they show both adulterers’’ sides to the story, but there is some man candy.

Joshua Jackson — on the right — plays Cole Lockhart, the husband of the woman having the affair, and though we saw his buck nekkid in episode one I was less than impressed. But then we saw him in jeans, riding, then dismounting a horse and, well, a man in Levi’s with a nice ass … I’m hooked.

In addition we have Colin O’Donnell — on the left — playing Cole’s brother Scotty, er, Hotty.

Yeah, I may be able to endure the morose for the occasional hotness. I’m shallow like that, you know.

So, My-Husband-In-My-Head Matt Bomer made his debut on AHS: Freak Show last night, playing a gay hustler, yum, who gets picked up in a bar by the wickedly insane, and insanely adorable, Dandy, played by Finn Wittrock. The two of them, in tighty whites? Oy, thank goodness for DVRs and replay!

I was in heaven until … and I’ll save the spoilers if you haven’t seen; suffice to say, Matt? What happened?

Also, the delicious Frances Conroy. Lots of talk, and all of it well-deserved, about Jessica Lange, but Frances Conroy has always been fabulous in AGS and this year is no different; the voice — "They're special bulbs from Holland! Don't question me!" — the hair, the clothes, the personality of her character. I want her to have her own season of Horror.

And then to have Gabourey Sidibe again? Loving it! Hopefully she’ll play a larger part before this all ends.

So, am I the only one who finds all those pictures of the virulently anti-gay Benham Brothers hoisting virulently anti-gay politicians into the air to be more than just a little gay looking?

And, not that I’m saying he’s gay, but the looks on Huckleberry's, Jindal's and Perry’s faces seem to suggest that they’re more than a little tickled to be carried around by bigots.

Speaking of homophobes, for some reason Peter LaBarbera, president of the anti-gay organization Americans for Truth about Homosexuality, went on the attack against National Treasure, Neil Patrick Harris.

Luckily Dan Savage was there to respond … and God, too.

Random Musings

Not a funny Carlos story this week, but a kinda cool one.

In his job, Carlos works a great deal with the Hispanic community in our town, county and state. Last year, he also worked with the Mexican Consulate trying to help a lot of the undocumented workers get their papers together and get them on the road to citizenship. I joked that he should get a job at the Mexican Consulate where he could work all day and I could go to lunches with the spouses of consulate employs and plan fabulous parties for the consulate.

Well, now it appears that we — and it’s ‘we’ because of ‘he’ — have been invited to a cocktail party at the Mexican Consulate in Raleigh, North Carolina next month to celebrate 204th Anniversary of Mexican  Independence.

Maybe that goal of being a consulate employee’s spouse might work out after all? Maybe, you know, at the Mexican Consulate in some fabulous European capital?

Fingers crossed.

I joke because what I really am is very, very proud of Carlos and the work he does.

Oh, this could be good … It seems that My-Husband-In-My-Head, Matt Bomer, will be guest-starring on next season’s American Horror Story: Freak Show. AHS creator Ryan Murphy broke the news himself saying he was excited to reunite once again with the “amazing” actor, who was nominated this year for his performance in The Normal Heart, also directed by Murphy:

“I try to get him to do everything for me. I sent him a text that said, ‘First right of refusal, here’s the role.’ It’s very…warped.”

Murphy is even willing to work around Matt’s schedule for the filming Magic Mike 2 in order to make the appearance work.

Matt Bomer? AHS? Win.Win.

Has my watch stopped or is her fifteen minutes of fame not over yet?

Donald Sterling's former mistress/girlfriend/paid-whore V. Stiviano is now claiming that Sterling is gay and she was just his "beard" for three years before his wife Shelly Sterling filed a lawsuit against her.

Now, in response to Shelly's lawsuit, which accuses the model mistress of taking $1.8 million from the Sterling Family in gifts for sexual favors, Stiviano says that she “was not ever a sexual partner” of Donald. She is now claiming that Sterling is “homosexual and enjoys sexual and or sexual congress with males” and that she acted as his “beard.” She also says Shelly Sterling knew and “condoned” her husband's “sexual orientation” and approved “gifts of money and or properties” to Stiviano for acting as his beard.

Huh. So, racist Donald Sterling might be gay. Well, being gay is not such a bad thing, but … being a fame-whore who sells herself for cash is a whore of a different color.

Go away V. Seriously, you are pathetic.

Last season on Nashville there was a hot British guy on the show who had an affair with Hayden Panettiere’s character. Now, since I am a whore for an accent I always thought the character was hot.

Fast forward to this summer’s Extant and there’s a crew-cut wearing hot Brit on the show as a bad guy with a robotic arm and, well, the accent, and all, I was hooked.

Turns out the two hot Brits are the same guy: Charlie Bewley.

Bad guy with a crew cut. Adulterer with fine hair. I’ll take him either way.

This week a 9-year-old girl — that is not the girl in the picture … her name has not been released — accidentally killed Charles Vacca, an Arizona shooting instructor, who was showing her how to use an automatic Uzi.

Yup, a little girl with parents who thought it might be fun to teach their 9-year-old how to fire an automatic weapon and now she’ll live the rest of her life knowing she killed a man,

Lovely parenting skills that.

And now, just two days after that horrible accident—which wouldn’t have happened if the adults hadn’t put a gun in a 6-year-old’s hands, the National Rifle Association [NRA] touted new ways for children to "have fun" at shooting ranges by posting a Tweet to its NRA Women account that read "7 Ways Children Can Have Fun at the Shooting Range."

Except for that whole murdering people thing.

The NRA. What the ever-loving f%k is wrong with them that, on the heels of this horrific accident, they actually want people to bring children to a shooting range.

You know, all the haters are always saying that The Gays want to indoctrinate children to our “lifestyle” but who’s saying a word about the NRA trying to indoctrinate children to becoming gun-toting loons?

This post was written before Joan was hospitalized this morning. It appears she is now in stable condition, thankfully ... so here goes ...

This past Monday I posted a few pictures of what I thought were bad looks at the VMAs; that post is HERE. 

Beyoncé, looking like a tease before shaking her ass and breathing hard onstage … Taylor Swift looking like  a cheap plastic blow-up doll … and Gwen Stefani looking like a car hop.

I actually said, of Gwen: “Slap on the skates and roll out my burger and chocolate shake to my car.”

The next night, Tuesday night, watching the VMA/EMMY fashion roundup on Fashion Police, Joan Rivers said of Gwen: “She looks like she needs to be wearing skates and bringing a burger to my car.”

Did Joan plagiarize me? Or do great, sarcastic minds think alike?

Good news! Michael Sam is a still Ram having made it through the first round of cuts. Now, I am not a fan of the volleyball, so, well, I’ll tell you what ESPN said:

“That Sam made it through the first round of cuts is of little surprise after he posted two sacks against the Cleveland Browns on Saturday night. Through three preseason games, Sam -- the first openly gay active player in NFL history -- has five tackles and three sacks. Rams coaches' film review also credits the rookie defensive end with two quarterback pressures and a quarterback hit.”

I’m guessing that’s good because, you know, volleyball.

But then ESPN stepped in it big time when, in trying to discuss how Michael Sam, an openly gay man, fits in with his team, the network aired a segment from reporter Josina Anderson discussing Michael Sam's showering habits in the Rams locker room: when he's showering, which teammates he might be showering with, why he might not be showering with others, etc.

Seriously? This is news? This is reporting?

Rams coach Jeff Fisher was also angry about the report:

“I’m extremely disappointed in her piece. I think it’s unethical. I think it’s very, very unprofessional. Not only the piece itself, the content. (But also) the manner in which she did it. ... I’m disappointed for Mike. I’m disappointed for the players who she put in this position, and mostly I’m disappointed for her because she felt what she was doing was right — and it wasn’t right.”

It was stupid and feeding into that whole argument that gay players only want to be on professional sports teams so they can see nekkid mens in the shower. 

Stupid.Stupid.Stupid.

And so, ESPN issued an apology:

"ESPN regrets the manner in which we presented our report. Clearly yesterday we collectively failed to meet the standards we have set in reporting on LGBT-related topics in sports."

Ya think? This Tweet says it all ...

In Idiot News:

Gordon "Creepy Jazz Hands" Klingenschmitt, a Republican nominee for a seat in Colorado’s statehouse, has accused Democrats of lacking a sense of humor after he sent an email which said that Congressman Jared Polis, a Democrat from Colorado, will “join ISIS in beheading Christians.”

Oh, that’s high-larious! And so typical of the GOP and its wingnut faction.

In the email, Klingenschmitt wrote:

“The open persecution of Christians is underway. Democrats like Polis want to bankrupt Christians who refuse to worship and endorse his sodomy. Next he’ll join ISIS in beheading Christians, but not just in Syria, right here in America.”

Mark Ferrandino, Speaker of the Colorado House, condemned Klingenschmitt’s remarks and demanded that Colorado Republicans do the same. Colorado Republican spokesperson Owen Loftus said that Klingenschmitt’s comments “in no way reflect the views of the party.”

Actually, it does, because while it was offensive, it was clear what he said while the rest of the GOP couches their hate rhetoric a little better.

And so, naturally, "Creepy Jazz Hands" issued an apology … of sorts:

“This weekend I sent out an email alert to my constituents in which I used hyperbole. You know what hyperbole is. It’s a literary device where you exaggerate to make a point. Well, apparently some Democrats do not have a sense of humor and they were offended by some of the things I said using hyperbole this weekend.”

And then he continued saying that, while it was wrong to compare Polis to Islamic State extremists, the Democrat was “persecuting Christian business owners here in America.”

Seriously, Colorado, this man is up for a seat in your state government?