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5 Ocak 2015 Pazartesi

Ted Cruz: Two-Time Equine Posterior Achievement Award Winner and an ISBL Asshat Winner

You gotta hand it to Ted Cruz. I mean, no one in Congress works harder at doing nothing than our visitor from Canada — who decided to become a US citizen so he could run from president … of his homeowner’s association because that’s as close to a presidential office as he’ll ever get.

But, while accomplishing nothing other than shutting the government down because he’s a pissy little brat, Ted has also been the recipient of several honors. He’s been an ISBL Asshat of the Week more than once, and just recently he won the coveted Equine Posterior Achievement Award, which is the People For the American Way’s annual prize for the country's most extreme right-wing politician.

And by right-wing I mean asshat, er, Horse’s ass. And it wasn’t even close! Cruz won by a 21-point margin repeating his 2013 victory, when he beat out the likes of Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin for the coveted award. Seriously. He’s more of a Horse’s Ass than those two! That’s a prize-winner if I ever saw one!

Ted Cruz bested MGB™ and Crazy Eyes by pulling another stunt that backfired … badly. He’d hoped to humiliate President Obama and congressional leaders by challenging a bipartisan budget bill as a way to show his anger over Obama’s executive actions on immigration, but, instead, his maneuver was handily defeated and gave Senate Democrats the opportunity to put several judicial and executive nominees up for a vote before Republicans took control of the chamber.

Thanks for helping the Democrats, Ted!

Ted’s previous Horse’s Ass win in 2013 was due to his spearheading the opposition to a constitutional amendment to overturn the Supreme Court’s 2010 Citizens United decision by falsely claiming that the amendment would throw comedians in jail and muzzle pastors.

He also threatened civil disobedience to block the enforcement of LGBT rights measures, introduced new measures to prevent marriage equality, said same-sex marriage is “heartbreaking” and causes his heart to weep and alleged that LGBT rights laws will put pastors in prison.

Cruz also stood by lawless rancher Cliven Bundy , notorious for his racist remarks and refusal to recognize the U.S. government’s authority, while at the same time torpedoing the nomination of a noted civil rights attorney , whom he accused of “fanning…flames of racial tension.”

Cruz also wants to go to war with net neutrality , although he doesn’t seem to have a clue about what net neutrality actually means.

Ted Cruz, a Horse’s Ass and an ISBL Asshat; what an honor.

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