Random Musings

Overheard at Work:

Me: CJ? Can you pass me that folder?

My Boss: His name is Clinton ...

Me: Funny, when he introduced himself to me he said his name was CJ so I'll call him CJ.

My Boss: Well, his name was Clinton.

Me: Well, If I were to call people by names that others suggest that I call them, you can only imagine what names I'd be hurling at you ... starts with an 'F' and ends with an 'r'.

It's a wonder I'm employed at all.

Remember when Tim Tebow would score a touchdown and drop to his knees and pray to God or thank God, or just settle for a moment, and people began selling the T-shirts.

Well, when Kansas City Chiefs safety Husain Abdullah intercepted a Tom Brady pass and returned it for a touchdown he did the same thing: he stopped and thanked his God, too.

The difference? Abdullah was penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Oh yeah, he’s Muslim, so maybe that explains why. I guess in football, you can beat your wives and girlfriends, have drug problems, anger issues, but you can’t bow down to thanks your God unless you’re a Christian.

Uh huh.

Bette’s back!

Midler, that is; she is releasing a new album entitled “It’s The Girls!” produced by Mark Shaiman. It is said to be an album of covers, but only from girl groups, from the 19030s through to today.

Think Bette does The Andrews Sisters to The Supremes to En Vogue to Destiny’s Child.

It drops — look at me with the industry-speak — November 4th and should be fa-a-a-a-bulous!

Out there to California, Governor Jerry Brown has signed into law a bill outlawing the "gay panic" defense in court.

Yup, no more The gay guy asked me to dance so I shot him fifty times defense.

It makes California the first state in the nation to enact this kind of law, and it’s about time.

On TV last week we watched the premier of How To Get Away With Murder, starring the beautiful Viola Davis — quite possibly one of the greatest actresses ever — as a law professor and defense attorney.

It’s from Shonda “Scandal” Rimes so it has that same, WTF just happened feel to it.

It also has some nice eye candy, like Alfred Enoch as the naïve, yet quite hot, law student, Billy Brown — a personal hottie favorite of mine — as Viola’s cop boyfriend, and Jack Falahee, as the Is he gay or is he just having gay sex to close the case student.

A trifecta of hot men, with Viola Davis to boot!

Paybacks are a bitch, especially when the payback is $242,000.

This week a federal court yesterday ordered former GOP Senator  Larry Craig — AKA The Airport Bathroom Toe-Tapper — to pay the government back the $242,000 in campaign funds he used to pay lawyers after being busted trying to hook-up with a dude in a Minneapolis airport restroom.

Craig, a complete and utter homophobe, bigot and all-around tool, says he was entitled to use the funds because was traveling on official Senate business.

Official Senate business is looking for a blow job in an airport john? Sorry, Larry, I ain’t buying that any more than I was buying your story about having a wide-stance.

You’re queer, dear.

After the highly successful ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, the organization Check One Two has created the Crotch Grab Challenge hoping to raise awareness about testicular cancer and encourage men to self-examine down below.

One of the first men to cop a feel, so to speak, was Hugh Jackman, who Tweeted out that photo and challenged Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Strahan and Ricky Gervais.

It sounds like a good challenge, but it annoys me because I have been begging to grab Huge Ackman’s crotch for years.

PS He's really packing!

What the hell is wrong with the Secret Service these days? An intruder hosp the fence at the White House and they’re too busy placing a Starbucks order to notice? He races across the lawn and they’re taking selfies? He enters the White House — enters.the.White.House — and they’re challenging one another to the Crotch Grab?

Or, howsabout the time they let an armed man onto an elevator with the President?

It’s ridiculous, unacceptable, and all kinds of wrong, and now Julia Pierson, the boss of the Secret Service, has stepped down. Good; here’s hoping they put someone in charge who realizes that they have ONE JOB: protect the President and the First family.

If they can’t do that, get rid of ‘em.

Filed under: I Don’t Know What To Make Of This

In Ohio, a white lesbian is suing a local sperm bank, charging that they mistakenly sent her sperm from an African-American male and not from a white guy.

Now, this women and her partner adore their mixed race baby, but say they are having difficulty raising her in an all-white community. The suit further states that the plaintiff fears the child will not be accepted by her "all white and unconsciously insensitive family."

Hmmm, is it the mixed race baby, or the fact that you’re a lesbian couple that has your neighbors are twisted.

Either way, who gives a f**k?